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That’s Commitment

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling your local 24-hour pharmacy. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, what time do you close?”

Me: “Sir, we never close. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous. How can you put up with that?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “So if I show up at four in the morning with a prescription, you’d be there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we’d be open.”

Customer: “And what time do you open?”

Me: “Sir… we never close; we are always open. Think of it like a 24-hour diner; there’s always someone here to help you.”

Customer: “Oh, man, that must stink! When do you get time to go home and sleep?!”

Me: “Er… we have cots in the back.”

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Fond Future Memories

, , , | Right | January 7, 2009

Me: “Okay, sir, your total today is $62.30.”

Customer: *serious* “That was a good year. I remember it well….”

Me: “6230?!”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

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Geography, My Arch Nemesis, We Meet Again…

, , , , , | Right | December 10, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] at Santana Row. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Your stores are having midnight releases for ‘World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King,’ right?”

Me: “Yes, certain locations are going to be open, but our store–”

Customer: *interrupting* “It’s already midnight on the East Coast; you can’t you sell them now?”

Me: “Uhh… unfortunately not.”

Customer: “BUT WHY?! IT’S MIDNIGHT IN THE EAST COAST!”

Me: “Well, it’s not midnight here, so, NO, we can’t sell it.”

Customer: “But people will be leveling up before me! AGHHH! This is bull-s***!”

Me: “Either way, our location isn’t going to be open for the midnight release. The closest location that will be open for the midnight release is 45 minutes away.”

Customer: “So if I go there, they should be selling them?!”

Me: “Probably not. They’re still on Pacific Standard Time.”

Customer: “What should I do then?! Everyone on the East Coast will have a head start!”

Me: “Maybe you should move to the East Coast.”

Customer: “What time are you closing?”

Me: “10:00 pm.”

Customer: “I’m coming right now!”

Me: “Okay…?”

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Normal Time Vs. Customer Time

, , , | Right | November 17, 2008

Me: “Hello, sir, can I help?”

Customer: “I want the twenty-piece bargain bucket.”

Me: “Well, there will be a five-minute wait. We have only just opened and don’t have that quantity cooked yet.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(He pays and takes a seat. About three minutes later, he approaches the counter again.)

Customer: “Where the f*** is my food?! I have been waiting half an hour!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We have only been open five minutes; there is no way you have been waiting thirty minutes.”

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Maybe We Should Shellac Them Next Time

, , , | Right | October 21, 2008

Customer: “I’d like to complain about these donuts I bought.”

Me: “Okay, madam, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “They’re stale. I bought them, went to eat them, and they’re stale! I want my money back!”

Me: “Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Let me have a look at them and we’ll sort this out.”

(I look at the bad donuts.)

Me: “Ah, I see your problem, Madam. When did you buy these?”

Customer: “About two weeks ago. Why?”

Me: “Well, the use by date was about ten days ago which explains why they were stale.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “You have to eat them by the use by date or they’ll go stale. I can’t give you your money back.”

Customer: “This makes no sense! I didn’t get a chance to eat them so I want my money back!”

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