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I Came, I Complained, I Became An Employee

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2009

Customer: “I’d like a table for two, please.”

Me:” For two? All right, it should only be about a minute. We have some tables being cleaned right now.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(Thirty seconds later…)

Customer: “Oh, my god! What is taking so long?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our busser is still cleaning the table. He should be done in a couple of minutes.”

Customer: “Ugh! Well, this is just taking forever. Y’know, at my house, it wouldn’t take me this long to clean up my table!”

Me: “Umm… want a job?”

Customer: “What?! Oh… that was good.” *smiles*

(After that, she calmly waited for the table to be cleaned.)

This story is part of our Perfect Comebacks roundup!

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Eastern Standard Time Travelers

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2009

(I received this call shortly after news broke about the emergency landing of a US Airways flight on the Hudson.)

Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the Hudson River just a few moments ago?”

Me: “There was a plane crash? Oh, my… was anyone hurt?”

Customer: “No, they all lived. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it yet. Where are you located?”

Me: “Well, I don’t have access to a television to see the current news. I am in Oregon.”

Customer: “Well, no wonder you haven’t heard of it happening yet. It happened in New York, which is three hours ahead of you!”

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Just Another April Fool

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2009

(A customer notices the Egg Plants we have for sale. They are just eggs with soil and seeds in them; crack the top, water, etc.)

Customer: “These are cool. In time for Easter, eh?”

Me: “Oh yeah. People are liking them, so they’re selling well.”

Customer: “That’s cool. I may have to come back and get a couple for my nieces. BTW, when is Easter?”

Me: “Um, I believe it’s either April 5th or April 12th.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Is it on a weekend this year?”

Me: “Um, sir… it’s always on a Sunday.”

Customer: “… really?”

This story is part of the Easter roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

22 Times Religious Customers Went Biblical In The Store


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Strange Math In These Here Parts

, , | Right | March 18, 2009

Customer: “What time is check-in at your hotel?”

Me: “3 pm.”

Customer: “And check out?”

Me: “11 am.”

Customer: “Okay, so we got four hours.”

Me: “Um, yeah…”

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The Land Of Surf, Sun, And Time Dilation

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Call Center]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order.”

Me: “I’d be happy to do that for you; however, our ordering system is down. If you’d like to call back in fifteen minutes, someone can help you with that.”

Customer: “Okay, so is it fifteen minutes Hawaii time or your time?”

Me: “No… just fifteen minutes… I’m pretty sure that’s the same no matter where you are, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh! Okay, thanks.”

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