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Appointment With Stupidity

, , , | Right | September 18, 2009

Me: “Service Center, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”

Me: “All right. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”

Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “So, wait… we don’t need an appointment?”

Me: “Nope, just come right in!”

Customer: “So, what your saying is we don’t need an appointment?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I dunno about that.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “Not having an appointment.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”

Customer: “You just said I didn’t need one!”

Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”

Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”

Time Is Money

, , , , | Right | August 31, 2009

(A distressed older gentleman approached me, after having used the self-service copy machines.)

Customer: “I only made four copies in black and white and it’s charging me $19.50!”

Me: “Hmm, that’s a bit odd. Did you take your credit card out already, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! And it started charging me!”

Me: “Wait. It shouldn’t be doing something like that…”

Customer: “It is!”

(We walk over to the copy machine in question.)

Customer: *points* “See? It’s even going up to $19.53!”

(One quick glance and I instantly know what’s wrong.)

Me: “Sir, that is the clock.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Once you eject your card, it goes to the clock, and our card readers are set to 24-hour time.”

Customer: “Ooohhh! Thank you!”


This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.

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Dances With Fools

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2009

Customer: “I’m hoping you can help me. I saw a movie on TV with Kevin Costner and I want to rent it but I don’t know what it was called.”

Me: “Okay, what was it about?”

Customer: “I don’t know, I didn’t see it all. But what I saw was him with a mustache.”

Me: “Okay. Was it Western-themed?”

Customer: “I didn’t see it.”

Me: “Well, did it look like it was set in a different time period?”

Customer: “No. It was with Kevin Costner. So, some time in the last 30 years.”

Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment

, , , | Right | August 13, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “How long is your wait right now?”

Me: “There is no wait at the moment.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

Me: “That you don’t have to wait for a table.”

Caller: “But how long is the wait?”

Me: “There is none. You will be seated right away.”

Caller: “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me!”


This story is part of the Customers-Are-Their-Own-Worst-Enemy roundup!

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Medical Wonders Of The After-Hours

, , , | Right | July 22, 2009

(I work at a drugstore where the pharmacy closes a few hours sooner than the rest of the store. A customer bursts in holding a script from a doctor’s office, and yells at me from across the store.)

Customer: “OH, NO! WHEN DOES THE PHARMACY CLOSE?!”

Me: *glances at the clock which reads 8:30 pm* “Six. Sorry.”

Customer: “Oh no. Oh, God! What do I do?!”

Me: “The pharmacy opens at nine in the morning, and closes at six, again. You can come back then and–”

Customer: “Is there a number I can call?! There has to be, for this sort of thing?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. If you just–”

Customer: “But what does this town do in case of an emergency?!”

Me: “…we go to the hospital, ma’am.”

Customer: “The hospital? Thank you!” *leaves still clutching script tightly*