I step up to the customer service desk, and an angry customer is standing there. There’s a less-angry-looking customer standing behind her.

Customer: “Finally! I’ve been waiting for over half an hour!”

Me: “Ma’am, we only opened ten minutes ago.”

Customer: “I… well… It felt like half an hour!”

Customer Behind Her: “Standing behind you moaning about waiting this whole time made it feel way longer than that!”

Customer: “Can you be quiet?!”

Customer Behind Her: “Can you?!“

The first customer glares but then lowers her voice a little and I handle her issue (simple refund). The customer behind her steps up when it’s his turn.

Customer Behind Her: “I need a refund, too, but I’m a few days outside of the return window—” 

Me: “Refund approved! Do you want a coupon, too? Here, take ten…”

About five years ago, I was working on a design for a client who had previously told me it needed to be finished by the end of March. The week before the end of February, I got food poisoning, so I called my client to tell him that I’d be taking a few days off to recover.

Client: “Well, that won’t do! You need to have this done by next week at the very latest!”

Me: “Pardon? You said this needed to be done by the end of March.”

Client: “You must have misheard me. I said this needed to be done by the end of February.”

He sent me the details about the deadline in an email, so at this point, I was scrambling to open it up.

Me: “No, it clearly says here that the deadline is March 27th, and the contract you signed stipulated you would be paying me for two months of work.”

Client: “I never agreed to that! Whatever. You lied in the contract, so I’m not paying you.”

At that point, I hung up and contacted a lawyer. After I completed the design and received no pay whatsoever, I threatened to sue, and only then did my client pay.

As it turns out, the client had gotten his deadlines mixed up and only bothered to check a week before the work was due. Why you wouldn’t confirm a deadline when SIGNING A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT is beyond me.

It is late, and our store is about to close. The last shoppers are finishing up, and our security guy has made the doors one-way so that they’re exit-only. As a group of shoppers is leaving, a customer outside dashes in while the doors are open.

Security: “Excuse me! Sir! We’re closed!”

Customer: “Oh, I just need a few things! I’ll be really quick!”

Security: “Sir, we closed a few minutes ago. We’re not allowing in any more customers.”

Customer: *Already running into the aisle* “It’s only a few minutes, chill!”

The security guy looks at me and just scowls. As the checkout manager, I feel I am in a position to help him.

Me: “Don’t worry, I got you.”

I go to our checkouts to help close out the lanes and assist with any last-minute issues. A full eleven minutes after this customer ran inside, he casually strolls up to the checkout with a full basket of items.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re now closed. Please place your basket to the side and proceed to the exit.”

Customer: “What?! No! I’m here to check out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the checkouts closed automatically a few minutes ago. You just missed it.”

Customer: *Getting angry* “No! I know you can override that! Check me out!“

Me: “It was only a few minutes, chill!”

The customer immediately recognizes his smug words from earlier and wisely surmises from my raised eyebrow that he isn’t going to win this one. He slams his basket on the ground and storms out, passing the same security guy on the way out.

Security: “Thanks for almost shopping at [Store]!”

A client calls at 8:05 am.

Client: “I emailed you all the stuff I needed done yesterday. Is it done?”

Me: “Hm, I didn’t see any emails before I went to bed. What time did you send the email?”

Client: “Yesterday.”

I find his unopened email, which is time-stamped for today.

Me: “Sir, you sent this at midnight.”

Client: “So, is it done?”

I am a ballet teacher. On this occasion, I am teaching a small group of six- and seven-year-old beginners.

Student #1: “Miss [My Name], why does ballet only count to eight?”

Me: “I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s because music is usually counted in four, and two sets of four is eight, but I don’t know for certain. The problem is that ballet is really old, so we don’t have many records of why things are the way that they are.”

Student #2: “Wait, how old is ballet?”

Me: “The earliest beginnings of ballet are over 600 years old.”

Student #1: “Woah… That’s even older than Disney Plus!”