Decision Making Make Oggwina Confused

, , | Right | September 15, 2008

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to book in for my photo session.”

Me: “Great, what kind of date were you looking for?”

Customer: “June.”

Me: “Okay, we only book up to two weeks in advance but I can put something on hold for you. What kind of day and time were you looking for?”

Customer: “June, maybe a weekend.”

Me: “Okay, just pick a time and date and I can get that sorted for you.”

Customer: “I find this very unprofessional!”

Me: “…why?”

Customer: “You should show me what dates you have free!”

Me: “Every date and time in June; no one else is booked in yet.”

Customer: *glares at me*

Me: “Do you want to have a look at the diary?”

Customer: “Yes, I think I’d better.”

(I bring her into the office and show her the screen with our June diary on. It is COMPLETELY blank.)

Customer: “So what date can I have?”

Me: “What date do you want?”

(This goes on and on until I finally give her a random date and time.)

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For You, We’re Always Closed

, | Right | September 1, 2008

(The diner I work in is a 24-hour restaurant, and closes only on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Eve after 6pm.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [diner]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, what time do you close?”

Me: “We don’t close until Thanksgiving; we’re 24 hours.”

Caller: “I don’t care what time you close on Thanksgiving! I want to know when you close TONIGHT.”

Me: “…five pm.”

Caller: “THANK YOU.” *hangs up*

 

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And They Say Time Travel Is Impossible

, , , | Right | August 21, 2008

Customer: “How much longer is your department open today?”

Me: “Two hours.”

Customer: “Oh… uhm, you on Mountain Time, then?”

Me: “No, we’re on Pacific.”

Customer: “I’m in Mountain time, so in reality, you’re only there another hour.”

Me: “Sir, seriously, we’re here another two hours regardless of what time zone you’re in.”

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Neverending Query

, , | Right | July 10, 2008

(The phone rings at 11 pm, although our restaurant has been closed since 10 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. .How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. Why are you answering the phone?”

Me: “I have to. Even though we’re closed, we still might get important phone calls.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand. Why are you closed?”

Me: “We have regular business hours to follow, and on weekdays we’re only open till 10 pm.”

Customer: “But I don’t understand… Why are you answering the phone if you’re closed, then?”

Me: *face desk*

(It went in circles like that for about ten minutes. I finally got tired of her ‘why’ questions and it had really had been a horrible night… so, I hung up the phone.)

Me: *to other employees* “You wouldn’t believe this lady…”

*phone rings*

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “So, why are you still answering the phone if you’re closed?”

Me: *multiple face desks*

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Why (Good) Regulars Really Rock

, | Right | April 5, 2008

(A man walks into the store with a broken appliance in a bag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ve had this for about a month now and it broke, so I want a refund.”

Me: “Sir, we’re a liquidation store. All sales are final, but I can replace this item for you.”

(A co-worker of mine grabs another one off the shelf and switches it for the customer.)

Customer: “How do I know this one won’t break down in a month like the last one?”

Me: “That’s the thing, we don’t know. If I had some kind of time acceleration chamber, we could put it in there, dial it up to one month from now and see how it’s doing.”

Customer: “Pfft! So what am I supposed to do, take it home and use it for a month and come back if it doesn’t work?”

Me: “Either that, or stay here for the next month.”

Customer: “What about my gas money I spend coming back and forth?”

Me: “Driving your car is a luxury, you could take the bus!”

(At this point a line was forming behind the customer…and the customers in line were regulars who are always joking around with me.)

Old Man: “I rode a horse here today!”

Old Woman: “I rode a mule!”

Customer: *takes his new product and storms out*

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