Daylight Saving Misbehaving

, , , , , , , | Related | March 19, 2013

(It’s March, on the Friday before daylight saving.)

Dad: “I hate that we lose an hour this weekend!”

Me: “Oh! It’s daylight saving already? Don’t you mean we gain an hour? You should be happy!”

Dad: “No, we lose an hour.”

Me: “No, we gain an hour! Remember, we lost an hour last time.”

Dad: “We gained an hour last time.”

Me: “No. Remember? Everyone was moaning about it. It’s spring forward, fall back.”

Dad: “Right! Spring forward, fall back. We lose an hour. It’s so exhausting! It messes up our sleep, and the cats don’t know when they should be fed.”

Me: “No, I’m positive we gain an hour. People do their moaning in the spring! You shouldn’t be annoyed. I’m happy now; our sleep will be better! Spring forward, fall back.”

(My dad is looking at me very strangely.)

Dad: “Let’s just wait for the weekend. Then we’ll see.”

(I go back to reading my book. After about 20 minutes, I check my phone to see what time it is. I see the date.)

Me: “Oh, my God! It’s March!”

Dad: “…yes?”

Me: “You were right! We do lose an hour! That sucks!”

Dad: “I told you.”

(There is a long pause.)

Me: “Although, if you consider that I was arguing from the point of view that it was apparently fall, we were both right!”


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The Lost Hour Of Your Discontent

, , , , , | Related | October 23, 2012

(My mother and I are having a casual discussion in the living room. My best friend is also there, watching TV. Suddenly, Mum changes the subject.)

Mum: “It’s daylight saving this weekend.”

Me: “Oh, right.”

Mum: “What do they do with the extra hour?”

(My friend and I exchange a glance.)

Me: “What do you mean?”

Mum: “When we turn the clocks back, we lose an hour. What do they do with it?”

Me: “Um, what? And who is ‘they‘?”

Mum: “The government, I suppose.”

(My friend is barely containing his laughter.)

Me: “Mum, there is no extra hour. We’re changing the time we say it is; we’re not changing time itself.”

Mum: “Don’t get smart with me! I know what I’m talking about. I want to know what they do with the hour they take from us!”


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These Minutes Are Minutiae

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2012

(I work in the pro shop at a golf course, and people often call to make tee times. Note that our tee times are spaced eight minutes apart.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Golf Course]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to make a tee time for 2:30, please.”

Me: “All right, I’ve got 2:32. Can I have your last name, please?”

Customer: “2:32?! That’s WAY too late! Do you have anything earlier?”

Me: “Sure, I have 2:24.”

Customer: “2:24?! That’s MUCH too early. You guys need to have better times!”


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In The Wrong Place At The Right Time

, , , , | Right | July 25, 2012

(I’m busing tables at a small, family owned restaurant. There is another restaurant about fifteen minutes away with the same name, so we sometimes get mix ups. We are just started to slow down after a fairly busy dinner rush when I overhear the hostess talking to a customer.)

Hostess: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I placed an order with you guys and I’m here to pick it up.”

(The hostess checks but sees no order for her.)

Hostess: “I’m not seeing any order under your name. Are you sure you didn’t accidentally call [Other Restaurant] instead?”

Customer: “How DARE you accuse me of being that dumb? Of course I called here! You just can’t do your job right. Look in the back; I’m sure they have it!”

(The hostess goes to the back waitress station but doesn’t find it. She decides to call the other restaurant, and, sure enough, they have her order.)

Hostess: “Ma’am, I just called the other restaurant and they have your order. If you’d like, we can put your order in now but it won’t be done for another fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “NO! I need my food now! Give me someone else’s. I have stuff to do!”

Hostess: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. You can either drive fifteen minutes to the other restaurant, or you can wait fifteen minutes and get it here.”

Customer: “Hmph, fine! I guess I’ll wait, but this is the worst service I’ve ever had!”

(As she waits, the customer stands at the counter while tapping her her foot and staring at her watch. When her food is finally finished, she tears it out of the hostess hands and storms out.)

Customer: “I’M NEVER COMING TO THIS S***HOLE AGAIN!”

Next Customer: *to the hostess* “…and we’re all very thankful for that!”

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For A Few Dollars Less

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2011

(We have closed. I’m letting two employees out when a man runs up to the doors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “I’ll only be a minute.”

(He comes towards me, trying to squeeze between me and the door.)

Me: “Sir, the store has been closed for ten minutes. Our registers have been shut down.”

Customer: “I’ll only be a minute; I just need one thing. I’ll be out before you know it.”

Me: “Sir, even if I could let you in the store, our registers have been shut down so no one would be able to check you out.”

Customer: “I was only going to buy a 99-cent item. I swear I’ll only be a minute. I’ll never come back if you don’t let me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. There’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “It’s just a 99-cent item!”

Me: “I do apologise, but we open tomorrow at nine.”

Customer: “You just lost a very large sum of money! I’m never coming back!”


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