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Ah, The Magic of Pavlov

, , | Right | December 5, 2007

(We have a clock at the wild animal park that chimes every fifteen minutes. A guest walked up to my ticket booth and asked me a question…)

Guest: “What do those chimes mean?”

Me: “Those tell us what time it is.”

Guest: “Oh. Does that mean we have to leave the park?”

Me: (I’m trying really hard not to laugh) “No. It’s only noon and the park closes at 8 pm.”


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Awesome Customers Do Exist

, , , | Right | November 22, 2007

8:55 pm: I’m guarding the door at work, waiting for the last couple of customers to finish up and get the heck out. They are going kinda slow, but I can’t kick them out because they were in the store before we close.

9:05 pm: They finally got what movies they wanted and are just about to pay when another guy tries to come in.

Late Customer: “Hold on, please! I just need to get one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s past 9 pm. These are the last customers for the night.”

Late Customer: “But all I want to get is a PS2. Why can’t you get it for me?”

Me: “Because you came in after 9, we want to close up.”

Late Customer: “But they are getting stuff.”

Me: “They were in here before 9.”

Late Customer: “So you aren’t gonna help me? I wanna speak to your manager! Are you the manager?”

(This is the fun part, one of the women buying stuff chimes in:)

Woman Customer: “Yeah, I’m the manager and we need to get the heck out of here to go home! You should have gotten here earlier!”

Late Customer: *Flabbergasted* “Wha? Well… YOU LOST A SALE!” *storms out*

Manager: *the real one* “…Wow. Thank you very much!”

Me: “Ditto! Thanks a lot and have a wonderful night!”


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Monday Monday

, , , | Right | October 29, 2007

Hotel Guest: “Do you have rooms available on Monday?”

Me: “What date?”

Guest: “Monday!”

Me: “No, what date?”

Guest: *in an, aren’t you f****** psychic tone* “Jeez, the 11th.”

Me: “Of what month?”

Guest: “MONDAY!”


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