(I work in a copy shop. It is an extremely busy day and it has been non-stop with customers and copy orders since we opened. This conversation starts after I tell a customer I don’t have time to do her order while she waits, since it’s so busy with other customers.)

Customer: “Okay. I guess I can come back at five for it, then.”

Me: “Okay.”

(We book in the order.)

Customer: “Okay, so, I can come back at one?”

Me: “Um, you said five.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’ll be on my lunch at one, so it’s easier to come then.”

Me: “Let me see what other orders I have booked in.”

(I check to see when everything else is due. Getting it done by one will be tight, but I think I can do it.)

Me: “Okay, sure. Come back at one.”

(I basically panic getting the order done by one, but I do it with just a few minutes to spare. She doesn’t pick it up until five.)

Customer: “I hope you didn’t rush it for one!”

Me: “…”

(A friend and I have signed up for an evening class together.)

Friend: “There’s no use in both of us driving there separately; why don’t I pick you up, and we’ll drive over together?”

Me: “Sounds good!”

(On the night of the first class, I’m waiting on my driveway. The class starts at 6:30. It’s 6:25, and there’s no sign of her. Finally…)

Friend: “Here I am!”

Me: “Oh, thank goodness!” *gets in* “Was traffic bad?”

Friend: “No, why?”

Me: “Um… You’re a bit late. We’ve only got three minutes to get to class, now.”

Friend: “Really?” *checks clock* “Oh, well. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

(We arrive at the class, several minutes late. The instructor has already begun. She glares at us.)

Friend: “Sorry! I have no sense of time!”

(The same thing happens the following week, and the week after that.)

Me: “I’m going to drive myself from now on.”

Friend: “Why?”

(We have [Manager #1] who is notorious for not knowing how long a task is going to take. If he claims that it will only take “a minute,” it usually takes fifteen. If he says, “fifteen minutes,” it can be up to two hours.)

Manager #2: *over walkie-talkie* “Hey, guys, we’re running behind today. Can anyone stay fifteen minutes after their shift to help finish this up?”

(Silence.)

Manager #2: “Anyone? Anyone at all?”

(Silence.)

Manager #2: “Guuuuyyys, I mean fifteen actual minutes, not fifteen [Manager #1] minutes!”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, okay. I can stay for that long.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too.”

Coworker #3: “Sure!”

(I was laughing too hard to chime in, but I did stay to help for those fifteen minutes, too.)

(My boyfriend is ALWAYS late. Always. At least ten minutes, sometimes fifteen or twenty. I’m the kind of person who’s always ten minutes early. This means I am always waiting at least twenty minutes for him, every single time. I used to have a problem with being late, years before, so I try to talk to him about tricks and coping. Cue the day he is going to meet my parents. I am SUPER nervous. I absolutely need him to be on time for this.)

Me: “So, you know how you’re always at least ten minutes late?”

Boyfriend: *laughs* “Yeah.”

Me: “We absolutely cannot miss the train when we’re going to meet my parents. So, I want you to pretend the train is leaving ten minutes earlier than it actually is, so you’ll be on time. And then, I want you to be early for that.”

Boyfriend: “Sure.”

Me: “So, we’ll treat it like a date; we’ll be 20 minutes early, have some fun at the train station, then catch the train.”

Boyfriend: “Okay.”

Me: *sigh of relief*

(On the day of our trip, I’m almost half an hour early for the train. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Ten minutes before the train leaves, I start texting and calling. No answer. No boyfriend. I am freaking out. Two minutes before the train leaves, he comes running.)

Me: “Where were you? Why didn’t you answer?”

Boyfriend: “Hang on. I still have to buy a train ticket.”

(I am flabbergasted. Long story short: we miss the train. I am a silent ball of rage.)

Boyfriend: “If you had bought me a ticket, we wouldn’t have missed it.”

Me: “WHY WOULD I BUY YOU A TICKET?!”

Boyfriend: “Because you should’ve known I’d be late.”

(I am about twelve years old and my parents bought me an alarm clock yesterday. I have set it for 7:00. I wake up to Mom throwing my bedroom door open.)

Mom: “[My Name]! Why are you so irresponsible? We got that d*** alarm clock so I don’t have to worry about waking you up in the morning, and you can’t even be bothered to turn it on!”

Alarm Clock: “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”

(Mom slunk away without another word, and I sat in my bed for a moment to try to register what the heck just happened before getting up to check the main clock in the living room: 7:02.)