Customer: “Your clock over there is ten minutes fast!”
Me: “Yes, I know. They’ve tried to fix it, but it doesn’t work—“
Customer: “So does the tournament start in five minutes or fifteen minutes?”
Me: “Uh, it starts in fifteen minutes.”
Customer: “Oh! Okay! Thanks!”
(We get a lot of Americans visiting our restaurant while on holiday.)
American Customer: “May I ask you a question?”
Me: “Of course, sir.”
American Customer: “What is that?” *points to the wall behind me*
Me: *looking* “That’s a clock, sir.”
American Customer: “Oh, a c-lock.” *he and his wife take pictures of it on their phones*
(I sincerely hope he was joking.)
(I work part-time in a gas station convenience store. We typically close at 11:00. However, tonight we decide to close early because we haven’t had a customer since 10:15. All of a sudden, a man walks up to the store as I’m walking out.)
Customer: “Hey, you! Do you work here?”
Me: “I do, but we’re closing early tonight due to lack of customers. You might want to come back tomorrow.”
Customer: “That is NOT how you treat a person as an employee. Serve me!”
Me: “Sir, I was not giving any disrespect, but you are being incredibly rude right now.”
Customer: “Oh, and now you’re telling me how rude I’m being! Hypocrite. Serve me!”
Me: “It’s too late. I’ve already closed the store. I can’t do that now. Also, you are trying to call out MY hypocrisy, but I’m not the one being disrespectful. I already said you could come back tomorrow. YOU are the hypocrite.”
Customer: “I know you are, but what am I?”
Me: “Oh, man, you got me there. Have a good night.”
Customer: “I won’t forget you! You will pay for this.”
Me: “Oh, don’t worry; I’ll remember you, too. See you tomorrow.”
(I walked to my car, hoping and praying I wouldn’t have to see the man the next day.)
(I do transcribing from home, and a potential customer inquires about rates.)
Customer: “What will it cost to transcribe this interview?”
Me: “It will be [amount] per recorded minute; how long is it?”
Customer: “[Amount] per minute? What if it takes you an hour to transcribe ten minutes? Why should I pay so much?”
Me: “It’s [amount] per recorded minute; the rate is based on how long the recording is, not how long it takes me.”
Customer: “I don’t know why I should pay so much if I don’t know how fast you’ll work.”
Me: “Here’s a link to [transcription service that charges more than I do]; I understand they work very fast.”
(I’m working with my coworker on the last couple of cars we have in the shop at our tire and lube service. It is almost closing time but we have enough time to put one more vehicle in the system for a service. Only two bays are open; the cars we are working on are up on the lifts, and each have at least one tire taken off. I see a fairly elderly customer pull up in his truck to the bay doors where “No Parking” is clearly marked in all capital letters with yellow paint on the pavement. I go over to make sure of what he wants and to tell him to pull to our front door to check in.)
Me: “Good evening, sir. What can we help you with?”
Customer: “Yeah, I bought these tires from you, but the valve stems aren’t taking air well. Could you replace them?”
Me: “Yes, we can. Just pull around to our front door and check in with our service writer, please.”
Customer: “But it’s just a valve stem!”
Me: “Yes, sir but we are already working on two cars and we still have to put you in the system for a service, even if it’s free. There’s gonna be a bit of a wait.”
Customer: *becomes very irate* “But it’s just a valve stem! Can’t you just pop a new one in?!”
(Again, note we only have two bays open, cars up on the lifts with tires off. He is essentially demanding us to drop what we’re doing for PAYING customers, put a tire back on and bring one of the cars out, then to bring his truck in, take a tire off, break the tire down on one side to replace the valve stem, reseal it back to the rim, and put it back on his truck for FREE.)
Me: “Sir, you would still have to wait; these two are first.” *gestures to the cars already in*
Customer: “Where’s your manager?!”
Me: “He’s already gone home.”
Customer: “Y’all standing around doing nothing!” *gets in his truck and literally burns rubber with his tires squealing and smoking, complete with the lingering burnt rubber smell as he drives off*
Me: *turns to coworker* “We were only ‘standing around doing nothing’ as he put it BECAUSE of him. We were clearly busy before he showed up.” *shares a laugh*
(Later on, a manager from another department came over. Turned out that the customer went to complain about us. Our service writer, who saw and heard the whole exchange, went to make sure the whole story was told to the managers, and not just the customer’s side. From what the manager said, it sounded like he was about to tell only his side of the story but when he saw our service writer go to tell the full story, he left before the manager could talk to him again.)
