These Boots Were Made For Walking Cheaply

, , , | Right | June 10, 2019

(I work in a thrift store, and I am basically in charge of shoes and purses. On occasion, I get a rare or expensive pair that gets donated, and these go in a glass case for display rather than on the floor.)

Customer: “May I see the [Expensive Brand] shoes?”

(I bring them out and the customer eyes them critically.)

Customer: “This is a thrift store, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Most of your other shoes aren’t more than $5 or $6! How do you justify charging $30 for this pair?”

Me: “It’s actually quite easy to justify, actually. This brand retails for $200 each. I took $50 off because this pair is used, then took an additional 80% off because we’re a thrift store. We actually beat out [Competitor Thrift Store] in prices all the time.”

(The customer actually stops and looks wide-eyed.)

Me: “Of course… if that price isn’t low enough for you, I’m sure someone else would be happy to pay that price for those boots…”

Customer: “No! I’ll buy them right now! Sold! Ring me up, please!”

(I guess justifying my prices is quite easy when no one else in the city offers discounts like that.)

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Bad Customers Need A Miniature Mirror To Their Behavior

, , , , , , | Right | June 6, 2019

(A mother and her child come to the registers. She’s yakking on the phone the entire time, absently piling stuff on the counter for me to ring. At some point, her kid tries to get her attention over something he’s spotted. She ignores him. He scowls, huffs loudly, and crosses his arms. She doesn’t respond. He huffs even louder and recrosses his arms, starting to tap his foot.)

Son: *takes a big breath and bellows* “WHAT THE F*** DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?!”

Mom: *flushes a brilliant red, hangs up* “I have no idea where he learned that.”

Me: *perfectly straight-faced* “Uh-huh.”

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Does Not Register How To Use The Register

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2019

(Our card reader does take chip cards, but it’s a very persnickety thing and if you do things in the wrong order, it will either ignore you completely or force you to start over.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, before you chip it, just confirm the amount—“

Customer: “I know how to do it!”

(She jams her card into the chip reader. It gives an angry buzzing noise.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, please take your card out of the chip reader and press the green circle on the screen.”

(Ignoring me, she jams the green circle on the keypad.)

Me: “Ma’am, you have to take your card out, press the circle on the screen, and put the card back in.”

Customer: “I know how to do it!”

(She jabs the circle on the screen but doesn’t take her card out. The reader proceeds to ignore her card in the slot and instructs her to swipe or chip her card.)

Customer: “Why does it say to swipe or chip?! It’s already in there!”

Me: “Ma’am, this machine is very persnickety. You need to take your card out and start over.”

Customer: “No, I don’t! I know how to use these things!”

(The card reader times out, meaning we now have to start over. I press the appropriate buttons.)

Me: “Take your card out and press the green circle on the screen. Then put your card back in.”

(The woman pulls her card out, then jams it back in before pressing the green circle. Since she didn’t press the green circle first, the machine buzzes at her.)

Customer: “Why is this so hard? I know how to use these things!”

Me: *annoyed* “Ma’am, please listen to the instructions–“

Customer: “This is bulls***! You do it, then!”

(She throws her card down on the counter. I sigh, turn the scanner toward me, and press the green button. It chimes happily and I put her card in. In seconds, her card is authorized and I take her card out and hand it to her.)

Me: “Now you just need to sign using the stylus and press the green circle on the screen again…”

(She jabs the screen viciously with her finger and rubs back and forth.)

Customer: “Why isn’t it working?!”

Store Manager: *who has been nearby, watching* “Because you can’t seem to follow directions. Use. The. Stylus. And press the green circle on the screen.”

(The woman finally grabs the stylus, scribbles incomprehensibly on the screen, and jams the stylus back into its holder. I sigh and pick up the stylus, pressing the green button. The persnickety machine is finally happy; it chimes again and the woman’s receipt prints up.)

Customer: “I know how to use these things!”

Me & Store Manager: *as she flounces out* “No… You clearly don’t.”

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Cold, Wet Cash

, , , | Right | April 3, 2019

There’s a man who visits the thrift store where I volunteer somewhat regularly. He suffers from some kind of chronic sinus problem. He never says anything and usually doesn’t cause any problems, but one day he paid for his item with two dollars that were sopping wet and suspiciously slimy.

I didn’t notice until they were already in my hand, and I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I set them quickly in an empty slot in the drawer, but I felt nauseated for the rest of the day.

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Canadian Politeness Is Infuriating

, , , , | Right | March 29, 2019

(We have just recently changed the store around, so many people are getting confused as to where stuff is. This older gentleman comes in and is looking at the videos, but looks really confused.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: *in a very thick Irish accent* “Why the f*** did you ask me that? Do I look like a f****** thief to you? All you Canadians are the same and so rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry I offended you, sir, I was just asking, as we recently rearranged the store, so I thought you may need some help.”

Customer: “I don’t care. You are so f****** rude! They don’t do that where I come from!”

(He walks out. I then have a regular customer come up:)

Regular: “What the h*** was his problem?”

Me: “I don’t know. I guess he didn’t like me being polite and trying to help him.”

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