Sadly Bigotry Never Goes Out Of Style

| Friendly | July 18, 2016

(I am a young girl with a rather odd sense of style. I have half-shaved purple hair, a nose ring, large earrings, and am wearing a large leather trench coat. While waiting for a dressing room at the thrift store I notice a woman glaring at me. Just when a room opens up and I am moving to it she steps in front of me.)

Lady: “Where are your parents?”

Me: “Well, uh, they live in Wisconsin, ma’am. I’m 21.”

Lady: “And they let you dress like that?!”

Me: “I dress myself.”

Lady: *scoffs* “Well, honey, you’re never gonna get a boyfriend or a job like that.”

Me: “Ma’am, I make good money as a welder and I happen to have a girlfriend. Now, I’m just gonna use this room…”

(I move to the room again and again she blocks me.)

Lady: “You’re a disgusting Satanist!”

Me: “Okay, look, lady. I’m a Christian. My dad is a pastor. My grandfathers were both pastors. I probably know the bible better than you. And guess what? My lesbian lover? She’s a pastor! So why don’t you find someone else to hate.”

(The lady seemed thoroughly upset and disgusted and stormed out!)

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The Book Isn’t Shady Enough

| Right | June 15, 2016

(I work in the book department of a thrift store.)

Customer: “Do you have ‘Eleven Shades of Grey’?”

Me: “Right here, and it comes with thirty-nine more shades free!”

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The Jokes On You(r Wallet)

, | Working | March 22, 2016

(The store I work at prints their own barcodes, which don’t scan sometimes. I get “must be free” jokes constantly. I come up with my own response.)

Customer: “It must be free!”

Me: *immediately with a straight face* “Actually, it’s a five dollar charge for making that joke.”

(Luckily the customers always realizes it a joke of my own and I have yet to get in trouble.)

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Meet The Anxiety Family

| Related | February 21, 2016

(I am visiting my cousin and helping her take care of our younger relatives. She has just had an anxiety attack. Most of my family including myself has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.)

Cousin: “I’m sorry for freaking out back there. Thank you for being patient and helping me with the kids.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. I know how you feel… Oh, no, I’m sorry. That sounds so condescending. I have no idea how you feel. I am not in your shoes… Actually, I think I’ve just proved that I do, in fact, know how you feel.”


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Taking A Hardline On The Hardback

| Right | October 23, 2015

(A lady approaches the counter with several items.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Doing fine, thanks”

Me: “So you found everything okay?”

(Ignoring my question she looks at who appears to be her mother and says.)

Customer: *to mom* “I am not buying that blanket. If you want it you can buy it.”

Customer’s Mom: “Okay. That’s fine, I guess.”

(As I finish ringing up everything else I get to the books and notice they are hardbacks which are $3 so I ring them up accordingly.)

Customer: *noticing price of books* “Wait, the sign says children’s books are 50c.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry; let me fix that for you.”

(I pull the books back out and double check what kind of books they are.)

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately these are not children’s books. They are hardbacks and are $3.”

Customer: *visibly getting angry* “They were in the children’s section, so they are 50c.”

(At this point a line is forming.)

Me: “I can double check with the manager if you would like, but these books are moved around frequently in that section.”

(I walk over to the manager with the books and tell her the situation.)

Me: “The customer is saying these two ‘Adult’ Books are for her child and therefore 50c.”

Manager: *seeing the mostly nude woman on the front in a seductive outfit* “This is a thrift store. Just because she “found” those books in the children’s section doesn’t make them so. If she really fusses about it say you can give them to her for the paperback price but certainly these should not be for a child.”

(I walk back over to the customer.)

Me: “The manager said these are indeed not children’s books.”

(As the customer is about to reach mental break down status.)

Me: “But I can give them to you for paperback price if that would help this one time.”

Customer: “Fine! I can’t believe you act this way.”

(After she leaves the customers behind her ask what happened and complimented me on handling the situation nicely and I tell her what happened.)

New Customer: *jokingly and laughing* “Yeah! And I found this jeans in the t-shirt section. Can I have them for a dollar? …Who gives their child Fifty Shades Of Grey?!”

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