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It’s Not Your Living Room, Dear

, , , | Right | June 30, 2022

I worked in a small, one-screen theater. Due to only having one screen, we would only show one movie at a time. Our typical schedule featured one or two movies per weeknight, and then four or five showings on the weekends. This meant that we would be rotating through our list of releases during the week, and not every movie that was “currently showing” would actually be played on a given night.

Enter Miss Demanding. I never actually learned her name, but I did see her often enough to recognize her face. She would show up at least once every other week, if not more often, and have some variation of the following conversation at the ticket counter.

Miss Demanding: “What are you showing?”

Employee: “We are playing [Movie] now, and we will be playing [Second Movie] at nine.”

Miss Demanding: “Hmm… I wanted to see [Third Movie].”

Employee: “[Third Movie] is showing on [Weekday] at six, or on [Weekend] at three.”

Miss Demanding: “Hmm… I was hoping to see it tonight.”

Employee: “Sorry, we aren’t playing it tonight. If you’d like, I can call my manager, and she can sell you an advanced ticket that you can use to see it on either of the showtimes this week.”

Miss Demanding: “Hmm… I’m here now, and I wanted to see [Third Movie] tonight.”

This would go around in circles until either the employee used the following approach, or, for the newbies who weren’t confident enough to do that, the manager was called over and did it for them.

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. [Third Movie] will not be shown tonight. You can come see it when it is playing. I can help the next person in line.”

And then they would simply repeat the above and otherwise ignore Miss Demanding until she left.

Every time she came, she would always ask after a movie that wasn’t actually playing, obviously having paid attention to the schedule, as even when we didn’t answer her about what was showing now and simply asked what she was hoping to see, she’d still end up naming a movie that wasn’t actually playing. And it wasn’t like it was a big secret what was playing each night, as we had a massive marquee that we would post the movies for the night on, which was clearly visible as you approached the theater.

To this day, I’m still not sure what, exactly, she hoped to accomplish with this, aside from maybe expecting us to simply change out the movie on no notice, just for her.

You Need A (Wind)Shield From The Latecomers

, , , | Right | June 30, 2022

I was working as a cashier at a large retail store that sells car parts. Ten minutes after close, once the doors were locked and we were all closing out our tills, a man came up and banged on the doors. A manager went to the door to meet him.

Customer: “I need to get windshield wipers!”

Manager: “We’re closed, sir. We open again at 8 am tomorrow.”

Customer: “But I need windshield wipers!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, the tills are closed. You will have to come back tomorrow.”

The man leaves, clearly frustrated.

Cashier: “I don’t know why this is such an emergency. There’s no rain forecast before next week.”

More Truffle Than It’s Worth

, , | Right | June 30, 2022

I work as a waiter at a restaurant. In the city I work at, there’s a truffle dish that’s widely beloved… and also avaible only in a specific time of year.

One night, during a time when we had it available, I and another server took the order for the same dish from two different people, while the kitchen only had enough for one portion in stock: as we don’t usually write down the time orders were taken, we were put in the awkward position of having to explain that to the patrons. The head manager decided to tell them we were out, while saving the remaining dish for the next day and saying we only had one portion.

The customer I had at my table seemed to be understanding enough to order something else, but the other customer…

Customer: “If you don’t have truffle-oiled gnocchi, why do you have it on the menu? Bring me some!”

Server: “Sir, we are currently out of stock, really, we just had no time to change it.”

Customer: “Fine then, take it off the menu and I’ll leave. Or maybe you can do your job and stop saving it for yourself for after dinner.”

The server leaves, and that seems to be the end of that… until I notice the customer hasn’t left the table yet, and he hasn’t ordered anything else for a while. I decide to intervene.

Me: “Are you fine, sir? Do you need anything?”

Customer: “I’m not leaving ’til my server either comes back and wipes truffle oil gnocchi off the specials’ blackboard, or until I get served it!”

I knew it was a power trip. I knew it would reward his behaviour. But everyone had better things to do than play brinksmanship with some old dude, so I went to the blackboard, and wiped that d***ed dish with my uniform’s sleeve. I then went back to him, who looked red in the face.

Me: “Are you satisfied now, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, especially now that I left this place the review it deserves on TripAdvisor, you scammers!”

He then got up and walked out huffing and puffing, spitting on the door’s glass before finally, finally, leaving. I went to check TripAdvisor, and he did leave a negative review, but in his version of the story, not being served by his own choice and leaving for free became him being forced by the owner, a twig of a woman mind you, shaking him down for money after not being served a dish we had totally sworn it was available, paying 50€ for the privilege of being insulted.

I honestly don’t get people sometimes.

So Entitled They’re Above The Numerical System

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2022

At my job, we have a number system. To come in, pull a number and wait until we call this number. We have huge signs all over the place. As anyone who has worked retail (or read this site) can tell you, customers don’t read signs.

A million and one times a day I am calling out numbers and get a customer asking where the numbers are. While the big red number dispenser in the middle of the floor has four different signs pointing at it and is literally right next to your elbow.

This is fine, whatever. They take a number and wait. Until this woman.

Me: “Sixteen, can I please help guest number sixteen?”

Customer: “I have been waiting for twenty minutes! When is someone going to help me?”

She hasn’t. I literally watched her just walk in.

Me: *Cheery smile even though I can tell she’s going to be a nightmare.* “I’m so sorry ma’am. We have to help customers with the numbers they pull. If you pull a number from the red dispenser, we will give you a shout when it’s your turn.”

I gesture to the number dispenser and turn to number sixteen, a patient woman who waits for the other to walk toward the dispenser before asking me about a product. As I am helping my customer, I keep an eye on this woman. Some customers need ‘help’ getting a number. I got around the counter and show her the number dispenser and pulled out number twenty and hand it to her.

Me: “My coworker is helping seventeen and I will help eighteen. It shouldn’t be more than ten minutes.”

I am still smiling even as my teeth are starting to grind. She walks around looking lost and annoyed and bugs another coworker who checks her number and tells her she will be helped when we get to twenty. Somehow in two minutes she loses her number. I wrap up eighteen.

Me: “Number nineteen, please.”

She saunters up. I know she’s not nineteen. I keep my smile plastered on my face.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I am helping nineteen. You’re next after that.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry so I am between eighteen and nineteen.”

The math doesn’t work but whatever. I want to tell her to get stuffed. I want to help nineteen who is standing behind this woman looking longingly at the bread behind my head. My manager has noticed the commotion and tells me to help the entitled brat. I get my coworker to take nineteen and I deal with her order.

It’s ridiculously complicated and time-consuming. She has this condescending tone that says she got exactly what she wanted. I don’t say another word except yes ma’am and no ma’am. Several items if ordered differently would be cheaper. I tell guests this usually, but she didn’t want to follow the rules. By inconveniencing everyone she lost money and I took my sweet time putting it together.

By the time I am finished the lobby has filled and emptied several times. If she had waited her turn, I would have helped her save time and money and I would have asked another worker for help. Oops.

Just Switch To Effect And Cause, Duh!

, , , | Right Working | June 29, 2022

A few years ago, I was working as a Porter/Assistant for Artists/Security technician, all in one Person in a well-renowned festival hall in Austria.

While we tried and succeeded in retaining a very professional and cheerful facade, the inner workings, employees and stagehands were quite discontent and sometimes outright angry, especially during the very stressful festival season. Unfortunately, some of the office workers also grew quite an ego while dealing with high-profile artists, politicians, etc.

One of my jobs as a porter was to man the staff entrance, and give out information to artists, visitors and passers-by alike. I also handled the appointments to the office floors. One time, a woman I had never seen before approached me.

Without a greeting whatsoever:

Woman: “I’m here to see my sister.”

I greeted her and asked for the name of her sister, since like I said, I had never seen her before. She huffed and gave me a stern look.

Woman: “Well, [Name of one of the most arrogant office clerks] of course. How do you not know me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I have never seen you before, but I´ll gladly check if she is in her office.

Woman: “I’ll just go up, I know the way.”

She leaves my window and tries to open the front door, which is secured by an electronic lock that I can open for approved guests and personnel. She rattles the door, and I can see on a camera by the door that she waves her hands around wildly, before coming back to my window.

Woman: *Now angry.* “Open the door for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that as you’re not approved yet. If you give me a minute, I’ll call upstairs and have everything sorted out.”

She huffs and waves her hands around again but stays quiet. I give her alleged sister a call and prepare for the worst. The phone rings and she picks up.

Sister: “[Name] speaking.”

Me: “Hello Mrs. [Name], Porter here, your sister is with me downstairs, and would like to visit you. Is it alright to send her up?”

Sister: *Instantly angry.* “You don’t need to call me to tell me my sister is with you, just send her up!”

This would violate several guidelines, which she doesn’t care about the slightest of course.

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but we have to call ahead to check if you’re even in the office, otherwise your sister would wander around the office floor in front of the presidents and intendants offices. It’s for your safety as well.”

Sister: “Don’t give me that! How would I have picked up the phone if I wasn’t in my office right now, duh!”

I sat there, a little dumbfounded and stayed quiet for a few seconds, hoping she would notice what she just said. I shouldn’t be so lucky.

Me: “So, you mean I shouldn’t have called to check if you were in your office, because you picked up your phone when I called, thus I should have known you were in your office before… I called?”

Sister: “Of course, how is this so hard to figure out!?”

Me: *Mentally resigning.* “Alright. I’m sorry I disturbed you. I’ll send your sister up now.”

She still tried to say something but I hung up too quickly. The angry woman in front of my window still huffed and tapped her foot, and I waved her to the door, opened it for her, and waited until she went up to the office floor, mumbling under her breath. I’m certain they had a good rant about how the incompetent porter messed up their day.

My story got some good laughs during a beer with some colleagues later on though.