Music Went From Lucky To Sucky

| GA, USA | Right | January 2, 2015

(I DJ at a theme park that has a built in water park. I am happily jamming to ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk by the wave pool when a guest approaches my DJ booth.)

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, who makes the play list for the water park?”

Me: “I do, sir, but all the songs on my laptop have been pre-approved by upper management.”

Guest: “Well I have my eight-year-old with me, and she is asking what ‘get lucky’ means. What do you expect me to tell her?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. I am very sorry my music selection has offended you. I didn’t mean any harm.”

Guest: *harumph* “I am taking this to upper management!”

(The man proceeds to tell my supervisor, who talks him out of taking his complaint any further by promising the song will be deleted and no longer played.)

Supervisor: *to me* “Meh, I like that song. If he was smart he would have just told his kid the song meant winning the lottery or something.”

(The rest of the time that particular guest was there, I played super safe things like The Beach Boys. But after that day, I have continued to play that song regularly.)

A Measure Of Common Sense

| UK | Right | December 31, 2014

(My sister and I have taken our younger brother to a popular UK theme park. We see that the queue for the tea cups is very short, so we begin to get in line. Just as we do, we notice a woman at the front of the queue with a small child obviously too small to ride. She’s talking to the ride operator.)

Woman: “So, I walked all the way through the queue, only to be told he’s too small to ride! You twat!”

(As she begins to storm away, my sister sends her a death glare before turning to me.)

Sister: *loudly* “Maybe we should go back and measure [Brother].”

Me: “Why?”

Sister: *still loudly* “Because we don’t want to walk barely a meter only to be told he’s too small to ride. If we don’t want to look like utter idiots, we need to measure him before queuing up.”

Me: *catching on* “Yeah. That’s what anyone with COMMON SENSE would do.”

(The woman, who had been demanding to see a manager, turned bright red before hurrying away with her child. The ride operator gave us both a high five.)

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Different Cast, Same Script

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | November 28, 2014

(When vacationing at this company’s theme parks, I am often asked questions as if I work there, even though I don’t dress or look like their typical employees. It may be just because I plan ahead and look like I know where I’m going. I am walking with my two sons, both of whom are under ten years old. Two 20-something guests approach:)

Guest #1: “Excuse me, which direction does the parade come from?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m not a cast member.”

Guest #1: “Huh? Then what do you do?”

Me: “What?”

Guest #2: “What DO you do for [Theme Park Company]?”

(First and only time I’ve said ‘I’m not a Theme Park cast member,’ yet the guests still thought I MUST still work for the company!)

Your Childhood Just Melted Away

| FL, USA | Related | November 15, 2014

(My mother, my brother, and I are on the ferry to Disney’s Magic Kingdom. In front of us are a woman and her two young children, and an older girl trying to engage the children in a conversation.)

Older Girl: “Who’s your favorite character?”

Child #1: “Olaf! I want to see him when we get there!”

Older Girl: “Well, I don’t know if they have Olaf here.”

Mom: “Yeah, maybe he melted.”

(The two children turn around, wide-eyed. My mom quickly tries to backtrack.)

Mom: “But he’s magic… so he’ll just… un-melt!”

Me: “How did I have a relatively normal childhood again?”

The Longest Year

| Orlando, FL, USA | Working | October 20, 2014

(My parents in America for their honeymoon, and decide to go to the adult only part of a well known theme park.)

Attendant: “I just need to see some ID.”

(My mother proceeds to pull out her passport and show the attendant her date of birth.)

Attendant: “I’m sorry ma’am you aren’t old enough for this attraction. You have to be 21.”

Mother: “But I am 21.”

Attendant: “No, you’re not. According to your passport you won’t be old enough for another few months.”

Mother: “Oh, no, sorry. We’re from England, so the date is reversed. I am old enough.”

Attendant: “I’m not stupid; you don’t really date that way over there.”

Mother: “Yes, we do.”

Attendant: “You’re not fooling anyone. You just want to get in here under age.”

(At this point my father steps in and shows the attendant his passport.)

Father: “In that case would you mind telling me which is the 30th month?”

(The attendant went bright red, and quietly let them in.)

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