Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I work on the ride with the highest height requirement in the park. I am the ‘grouper’—basically I assign the guests to where they sit for the ride, and I am the final say on whether children are tall enough.)

Me: “Hi buddy, could you come stand on this yellow square for me? Nice and tall like a soldier.”

(The child is clearly too short.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but he is too short to ride.”

Mother: “Please let him ride! All of his other friends have ridden this.”

Me: “I’m sorry; he is too short to ride.”

Mother: “Please, I promise he’s not scared; he won’t cry on the ride.”

Me: “Ma’am, the height stick doesn’t measure courage; it measures height. Your son is too short; I’m sorry.”

Mother: “But he wants to go so badly; he’s been asking all day.”

Me: “Ma’am, your son could come flying out because he’s too short.”

Mother: “OH MY GOD, REALLY?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The height requirement is a safety issue. That’s why we take it so seriously.”

Mother: “Oh, I just thought you were mean!”

Related:
Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
Taking Stupidity To New Heights

No Upside-Down But My Head Is Still Spinning

| Orlando, FL, USA | Tourists/Travel

(I work at a special effects show, which is experienced in the form of a walking tour. Our park maps don’t even begin to explain this, and our attraction isn’t a staple of the park, so most people have no idea what we are.)

Guest #1: “What is this?”

Me: “We’re a special effects show, experienced in the form of a walking, guided tour.”

Guest #1: “But what is it?”

Me: “It’s a show, like a stage show, only you’re walking through different rooms and it’s happening around you.”

Guest #1: “So, what is it?”

Me: “It’s… it’s a show. You’re walking through the building here, and each room is a different scene you experience. Your tour guide is performing around you.”

Guest #1’s Husband: *approaching* “What’s this?”

Guest #1: “I don’t know!”

(Another guest approaches.)

Guest #2: “Is this a roller coaster?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We’re a special effects show, only you walk through in the form of a tour.”

Guest #2: “Oh, walking? So does it go upside-down?”

Me: “…no. It’s all walking.”

Guest #2: “So what’s that?”

(The guest points to a nearby themed restaurant, which looks like a mountain on the outside.)

Me: “That’s a restaurant.”

Guest #2: “Does it go upside-down?”

Me: “…No.”

It’s A Strange World After All

| Orlando, FL, USA | History, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Walt Disney World.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Guest: “Yeah, is Walt Disney going to be in the afternoon parade?”

(After a short silence, I realize he’s not kidding.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but… Walt Disney died in 1966.”

Guest: “What!? Then is his brother in the parade?”

Me: “No, sir, his brother is dead, too.”

Guest: “Then one of his sons?”

Me: “Walt didn’t have any sons, sir.”

Guest: “Well then, who’s head of the company?”

Me: “Bob Iger, sir.”

Guest: “…then why isn’t it called Bob Iger World?”