This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | March 19, 2016

(I sell and prepare often pricey coffee from another well known company. We sell baked goods as well, including sandwiches.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any turkey sandwiches?”

Me: *looking at the case, it features ham, sausage, bacon, and a vegetarian option as well* “Sorry, those are the only options we have available. Will one of them be okay?”

Customer: “I guess but can you customize the sandwich for me at least. I don’t like croissants.”

Me: “Unfortunately the sandwiches are prepackaged so we can’t do that but we can remove anything that you like from any one that you choose.”

Customer: “Fine, the bacon gouda with no bacon and no cheese. And a cappuccino as well.”

(After the order is paid for and received they come back.)

Customer: “My sandwich was fine but there is no milk in my cappuccino. It’s all foam.”

Me: “Cappuccinos are mostly foam and only half milk.”

Customer: “That’s not true. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”

Me: “Then you want a latte.”

Customer: “NO! It’s a cappuccino!”

(This back and forth went on for a bit, so in the end I made a latte with the code of a cappuccino and the customer walked away happy in their ignorance.)


A Tall Order For A Tall Drink

| NJ, USA | Working | March 14, 2016

(This amusement park has a deal where you can buy a souvenir drink cup and receive free refills for the rest of the year. I’m buying one from a snack stand.)

Cashier: “How can I help you?”

Me: “I’d like a green souvenir cup, please.”

Cashier: “All right.”

(The cashier retrieves a drink cup.)

Cashier: “What would you like in it?”

Me: “Um… iced tea.”

(The cashier fills up the cup and rings it up.)

Cashier: “That’s two thousand, one hundred thirty-nine dollars.”

(I looked at the register screen and paid the appropriate amount– $21.39. It seemed someone had a long day!)

I Smell Time Warp Trouble

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Working | February 9, 2016

(In the summer, our major theme park chain has employee movie nights after the park closes. The person in charge of the event posts a list of what we can and cannot do while watching the movies, the most prominent:

“No talking, acting up and trashing the theater”

All employees look at the list of movies showing for the summer to plan on what we are wanting to see. When we see “The Rocky Horror Motion Picture Show” a third of the way down the list. Upon seeing that, a coworker and I go to the person in charge of the event.)

Coworker: “[Supervisor], we want to inform you that there is a movie scheduled on [date] that will violate most if not every rule of the code of conduct list for the movies.”

Supervisor: *looking at the list* “Oh, that movie! It’s a cute musical. It is harmless.

Me: “[Supervisor], this movie is a cult classic; we guarantee you that people are going to get on stage and act along with the movie, sing along, throw food, etc. You DON’T want to be showing this movie.”

Supervisor: “You are lying. No one will do that during the movie, and you are all adults, not children. I have watched this at home many times and have not seen that happen during the movie.”

Coworker: “Have you been to any theater that shows this?”

Supervisor: “No, I don’t go to theaters to watch movies. I wait for them to get released and then watch them at home, as theaters get too noisy to enjoy the movie.”

Me: “Precisely! Things are going to get rowdy during the Rocky Horror Show!”

Supervisor: “No, it won’t. I will not hear any more about this. You are all adults and know how to sit quietly and watch the movie.”

Me & Coworker: “It’s your funeral.”

(Cue the day after the movie, notices are posted all over the back stage areas of the park…)

Notice: “Due to employees getting rowdy last night and trashing the theater during the Rocky Horror Show. We are permanently cancelling the employee movie nights because people can’t behave like adults and act like children instead.”

Coworker:  *looks at me* “Called it!”

Making Tax Taxing

| USA | Working | January 17, 2016

(As a theme park we often hire teenagers during the summer. For many of them this is their first job. This can make some of the paperwork challenging, particularly tax forms. Many times this conversation has taken place, with few variations.)

Me: “Okay, this is the tax form. You need to fill out the number of allowances you want to claim here.”

Employee: “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. What should I put?”

Me: “Well, I can’t really tell you what to write, since I’m not a tax consultant. But you can follow the instructions on the worksheet here, or if you like, you can take it home and ask your parents what they think you should do.”

Employee: “Okay. I guess I’ll ask them, then.”

Me: “Okay. Just make sure to get an answer from them, because we can’t tell you how to fill it in here.”

(When they return:)

Me: “I see you still didn’t finish filling in your tax form. Did you ask your parents what you should do?”

Employee: “Yeah. They told me to just ask you what to put.”

Me: “…”

I’ll Be 14 When Stuffed Pigs Fly

| Agawam, MA, USA | Working | January 13, 2016

(I’ve just turned 18 and am at a theme park with one of my best friends to celebrate. It’s worth noting that I’m a girl, I look quite young for my age, and I am very short. As we walk into the main park area we see a bunch of carnival-style games.)

Friend: “Oh, look, the guessing lady.”

(The “guessing lady” will guess your weight, birthdate, or age with a margin for error of ten pounds, two months, or two years, respectively. If she’s wrong and her guess is outside the margin for error, you win a prize. She uses laminated sheets of paper held together by three rings to make the guesses. We can see there’s a bit of a crowd around her.)

Friend: “I bet she’d have a hard time trying to guess anything about you.”

Me: “You know what? You’re probably right. Think I should try?”

Friend: “I don’t see why not.”

(I step up to the front of the crowd. The lady notices me.)

Guessing Lady: “Hey there, kiddo, you want to try your luck?”

Me: “Sure do.”

Guessing Lady: “All right, what prize do you want to try for?”

Me: “One of those stuffed pigs.”

Guessing Lady: “And what do you want me to guess?”

Me: “My age.”

(She smirks, looks me up and down, and starts flipping through her laminated sheets of paper. I can see the reflection in her sunglasses and grin, because I can see she’s wrong and not within the margin for error. She turns the paper around so I and the crowd can see.)

Guessing Lady: “You must be 14.”

Me: “Nope! I just turned 18, actually!”

Guessing Lady: *brow furrowed* “Are you kidding? You’ve gotta be kidding. There’s no way.”

Me: *still grinning* “Do you want to see my ID? Got it right here in my wallet.”

Guessing Lady: *slightly defeated* “No, no, no. Just… go get your prize.”

(I grabbed the stuffed pig from the man behind her and walked away with my friend. As soon as we were out of earshot, we burst out laughing. It’s been almost two years, and I still get mistaken for a 14-year-old. I still have that pig, too.)

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