Not Quite The Happiest Place On Earth

| France | Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Guest: “The waiting times are horribly long! There are too many people!”

Me: “Well this is a famous park; a lot of people want to spend time here with their family.”

Guest: “Well, you should not let so many people in. Look around: there are so many people.”

Me: “We have a security maximum that has not been reached yet. I believe you are a visitor too. Would you have liked for you and your family to be stopped at the entrance after miles of travelling because there are a lot of people in?”

Guest: “Of course not! I paid to come here, and we have wanted to come here for a long time!”

Me: “Well, so do all these people…”

Some Stupidity Needs To Be Caught On Montevideo

| Orlando, FL, USA | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(At the theme park I work at, our name tags have our hometown on them. Despite the fact that I have lived in Orlando since I was an infant, my name tag says I am from Uruguay, since that is where I was born.)

Guest: “It’s so terrible they make you work here.”

Me: “I actually quite enjoy my job. I like seeing people enjoy their vacations.”

Guest: “Yeah, but what about your vacation?”

Me: “My vacation?”

Guest: “They shouldn’t ruin your vacation by making you work.”

Me: “No, I think you misunderstand. I work here. I live in the area, and I go to school down the road. The park isn’t my vacation; it’s my job, and I enjoy it.”

Guest: “Oh, honey., do they tell you to lie? You’re from Uruguay; it would be stupid to commute all this way for a job.”

The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working in the largest gift shop in the theme park. I am walking around straightening and folding the when I hear a middle-aged guests whistling. After a few moments, I recognize it as the theme tune to ‘The Animaniacs’.)

Me: *singing* “Pinky and the Brain, they want rule the universe…”

Guest: “…Slappy slaps them with her purse…”

Me: “…Buttons chases Mindy while Rita sings a verse!”

Together: “Why write a script? We have no script! Why bother to rehearse? We are the Animaniacs! We have pay-for-play contracts! We are zany to the max, there’s baloney in our slacks! We’re Animany, totally insany—”

Guest: *Wakko voice* “Where’s Lon Chaney?”

Together: “Animaniacs! Those are the facts!”

Guest: *high-fives me* “It was nice jammin’ with you, Dot.”

(I beamed for the rest of the night.)