(I am a customer at a local theme park, but I know many of the employees. A friend of mine is working concessions near the front gate, so my brother and I stop to say hi. My friend is a very flamboyant and, at times, undisciplined character, but he’s usually harmless.)

Employee: “I almost got fired this morning.”

Me: “Why?”

Employee: “I threw cheese on a customer.”

Me: “Why would you do that?!”

Employee: “This woman comes up to me for a drink and she’s like, real mad, and she throws her drink on me! So, I’m like, ‘Would you like your cheese?’ and I throw the nacho cheese on her.”

Me: “Good Lord!”

Employee: “So, they called us both down to the office and asked what we were thinking, and I said, ‘She threw her drink on me, and I don’t take crap like that, so I threw the cheese on her.’ And we both looked at each other and just said, ‘I’m sorry.’ So, I got a new uniform and it was just nonsense.”

My Brother: *points at the nachos* “Just remind me not to stand near you with that!”

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(I work as a games attendant. My coworker is running a game that involves three or more people racing each other to win a prize. An elderly man walks up to her game and pays up near $60 for all his grandchildren and children, roughly 30 people, to play. After they have won several prizes, the family gets ready to walk away.)

Mother: “What do we say to Pa?”

Kids: “Thank you Pa!”

(At this point they gather, holding hands, into a circle around their grandpa and begin to sing.)

Family: *singing* “Thank you Pa! Thank you Pa! Yahoo for Pa!” *they throw their hands up in the air and spin around*

(The look on my coworker’s face is priceless. Another coworker, who was walking past at the time, also stops and stares. We are all trying not to laugh. I finally can’t hold it in anymore and have to hide in my backroom until the family leaves.)

(I am on my first date with my future husband, which includes his 10-year-old son. I am nervous about him liking me even though we have all known each other for years. I was always just a friend to his dad, but now I am ‘more than friends’. We all go to our local theme park for the day.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, I’ll go get us some mini donuts. I’ll meet you both at the next ride!”

Boyfriend’s Son and Me: “Okay!”

(His son grabs my hand, much to my surprise.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “Come on! Let’s run! Race with me!”

(He pulls my hand to get me to run and because I’m eager to please him I chase him. Just when we get really running he turns around and starts yelling.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “HELP! STRANGER! SHE’S CHASING ME!”

(We did end up getting along famously, but he still loves a good prank.)

(I am at a popular theme park in England with a friend. We decide to get ice cream, where a father and his 5-year-old son are ordering before us. The father hands his son an ice cream cone.)

Son: *shouting* “Where is my chocolate flake?! You promised me I could have a flake today and it isn’t here! You always do this! You promise me things and never give them to me!”

(The boy begins to cry. The father turns the ice cream around in son’s hand to reveal a flake in the other side.)

Son: “Oh!” *immediately stops crying and skips off happily*

(I’m waiting in line for a ride with a nine-year-old autistic boy that I babysit. His father and grandmother are with us. The boy starts to enter the ride before all of the people have exited.)

Me: *to autistic boy* “Sweetie, come back here, please. Come back. You need to stay back here.”

Employee: “He can’t be in there.”

Me: “I know, just give me a moment. ”

(The employee grabs the boy by the arm and takes him back outside the gate and points to the other employee.)

Employee: “You can’t go in there until the lady says you can. Okay? Do you understand me?!”

Father: “He’s autistic. He isn’t going to answer you.”

Employee: “I know, but you still have to talk to them!” *to autistic boy* “Do you understand? You wait until the lady tells you you can go in. Understand? Understand?!”

Father: “I just said he was autistic!”

Employee: “BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO TALK TO THEM!” *walks off to the ride he actually works on*

Me: *to father* “Did that just happen?”

Father: “He probably yells at deaf people, too.”