Different Cast, Same Script

| Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(When vacationing at this company’s theme parks, I am often asked questions as if I work there, even though I don’t dress or look like their typical employees. It may be just because I plan ahead and look like I know where I’m going. I am walking with my two sons, both of whom are under ten years old. Two 20-something guests approach:)

Guest #1: “Excuse me, which direction does the parade come from?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m not a cast member.”

Guest #1: “Huh? Then what do you do?”

Me: “What?”

Guest #2: “What DO you do for [Theme Park Company]?”

(First and only time I’ve said ‘I’m not a Theme Park cast member,’ yet the guests still thought I MUST still work for the company!)

Fairness Is Limited

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(Customers have the option of buying a single-ride coupon or an unlimited rides ticket. It’s a particularly busy day, and the queue line on my ride is over 45 minutes long. The ride has just finished and most people are exiting, except for two customers.)

Me: “Hey, gentlemen, the exit is out that way, when you’re ready.”

Customer #1: “We’re staying on for another go.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you will have to line up again to ride, especially since it’s so busy.”

Customer #2: “But we have these.” *shows me his unlimited rides ticket* “See, unlimited.”

Me: “Yes, you can go on multiple rides in the park, but you still have to line up every time. It’s only fair.”

Customer #2: “But we have these!”

Me: “As do most of the people in this queue, sir.”

(On cue, most of the guests in the queue started waving their tickets at the pair. They finally left.)

An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

Customer: “What about the starfish?”

Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

(The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

(The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

(The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)