Watch Out For The Pansysaurus

| Right | February 26, 2012

(Our park has a dinosaur-themed section. I am helping a family with directions in a nearby area.)

Customer: “What is there to do in [dino-area]?”

Me: “Well, there are carnival games, a playground for the kids, and there’s the dinosaur ride.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a bumpy jeep ride through the dark with dinosaurs attacking you—”

Customer: *in horror*Real dinosaurs?”

Customer’s sister: “Think about what you just said, girl. Dinosaurs are extinct!”

(The original customer is looking at me for confirmation, still horrified.)

Me: “No, we don’t have any real dinosaurs.” *joking* “We tried to get some but it didn’t work out. The ones in the ride are robotic.”

Customer: “But do they, like, climb into the cars and attack you?”

Me: *dumbfounded*

(The sister and the rest of the family are doubled over laughing.)

Me: “No! You’re perfectly safe in the car.”

Customer: “I don’t think I want to try that ride!”

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One Foto In The Grave

| Right | February 14, 2012

(I am working the photo center of a thrill ride, where people can look at and buy the photo taken of them in their ride car. An older couple comes up and orders their picture.)

Older lady: “I don’t need a bag. My kids and grandkids are right over there.” *points to a corner of the store*

Me: “Sure thing. Here’s your printed picture. How does it look?”

Older lady: *taking the photo* “That’s great! They’re gonna love it when we’re dead!” *walks off*

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Thumbing Up, Dumbing Down

, | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother and I, who are six years apart in age, are seated together on a sky-lift at an amusement park while one vacation. A couple of teenagers — boy and girl cuddling — pass us going the other way. The teenage boy gives me a ‘bro nod,’ followed by a thumbs-up.)

Me: “Did you see that? That guy just gave you a thumbs-up.”

Brother: “What? Why?”

Me: “I think he thought we were together.”

Brother: “No way.”

Me: “I don’t know whether to be creeped out because he thought we’re dating, or flattered because I’m a thumbs-up.”

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Moms Always Intercede For Their Super Seed

| Related | December 14, 2011

(I’m sitting on the top of a ten-foot slide, helping little kids up so their parents can climb up with them. A dad walks over with a baby who looks a little under a year old.)

Me: “Want me to help get him up for you?”

Father: “Nah, I got him.”

(He holds the baby like a football.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure how safe that is.”

Father: “Ready? Fly!”

(He throws the baby headfirst to the slide, to reveal the baby’s wearing a large cape. The mother comes running over.)

Mother: “George! How many times do I have to tell you?! Robbie is not super-baby!”

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The Sweet Smell Of Savings

, , | Right | October 3, 2011

(A customer comes to my window and I help him get his entry and equipment rentals. I also give him a coupon for his next visit.)

Me: “Here is a coupon for $5 off your next visit.”

(The customer starts to scratch the coupon.)

Customer: “What’s it do?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not scratch and sniff. It gets you $5 off you next visit.”

(He scratches the coupon with more force, then smells it.)

Customer: “I don’t smell anything. What’s it do?”

Me: “It’s a $5 off coupon for your next visit.”

(The customer scratches the coupon some more.)

Customer: “Ugh! I don’t understand. I scratch it and it doesn’t smell like anything. What does it do?!”

Me: “The next time you come back, you bring this with you and you save $5 on your entry.”

Customer: “Oh, so it doesn’t smell like anything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “And I save $5 on my next visit?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m from out of state, so, no thank you!”

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