You’ve Been Bludgeoned And Beaten With That Golden Joke

, , , | Right | May 14, 2020

I work in a nineteenth-century-themed park. Due to the uniforms and the period of the park, we get a few odd questions. This particular day, I’m in the broom barn.

Me: “Welcome to the broom barn.”

Customer #1: “Is this where Hogwarts gets their Quidditch brooms?”

Me: “Yes, and there are some right behind you.”

He and his group start laughing.

Customer #2: “Do you get that often?”

Me: “More than once a day.”

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Unfiltered Story #192949

, , | Unfiltered | April 29, 2020

I work at a theme park we have rides and shows which may get you wet. I work upfront inside the information center. At our park we offer to dry guest’s clothes if it ever gets wet due to the shows or the rides. I had a guest come in one time and asked if we can dry their clothes. I said “Sure we can.” The guy leaves for a second and comes back with, I kid you not 3 trash bags full of wet clothes! We’re talking about underwear,clothes,socks you name it we dried it. It didn’t help that our dryer was old and didn’t dry clothes well. Unfortunately I left before he was able to get his clothes.

Unfiltered Story #191606

, , | Unfiltered | April 8, 2020

(I work at a very popular amusement park in my state selling people their pictures when they get off one of the most intense roller coasters in the park. A group of three young men have gone on the ride three times and seen their picture each time. This happens after their last ride.)
Guy 1 to Guy 3: Okay bro, once is whatever. Twice is a coincidence. But three times? Man, why the f*** you smilin’ on a roller coaster?
(Guy 3 had in fact been grinning like a maniac while his friends both looked terrified.)
Guy 2: *looking at me* Miss, do you smile on roller coasters?
Me: Actually, yeah, I love them.
Guy 2: Ya’ll are crazy.

Unfiltered Story #186485

, , | Unfiltered | February 7, 2020

(I was at a very popular amusement park with my family about to get on a roller coaster. I was designated to put the bags in the lockers while they got in line. A cast member is yelling at people lining up to have one person drop off bags and they can go join up with their group after. After putting things in the locker I start moving through the line saying “Excuse me, so sorry! Im just getting to my group! Im so sorry!” No one has a problem until one guy very obviously elbows me in the ribs. Note: Im 5’6 and weigh 115 lbs. He was 6’1ish and about 250lbs?)

Him: Oh yeah sure. You have a group.

Me: Yes, I do. Im going to meet them. Sorry. They tell you at the entrance you can rejoin with your group when you drop off bags.

Him: Why dont you wait in line like everyone else you liar.

(There are a lot of children around and I noticed he has his own two young kids in costume. Im usually pretty ready for a conflict but I wasnt about to start a shouting match in front of a bunch of kids so I waved him off and kept going up the line.
My family was sitting just beyond the metal detectors.)

My mom: You wont believe this but your father kept his phone in his pocket so now we are waiting for him.

(I tell my mom about the rude guy who basically assaulted me. She insisted I point him out because shes more aggressive than even me. I refused explaining I wasnt going to cause a scene in a family place. She picked him out anyway.)

While the guy is walking by my mom yells: THANKS FOR LETTING MY DAUGHTER JOIN HER FAMILY!

(Guy gives her a mean look but says nothing and keeps going with his kids. Kicker is, it was a double roller coaster. Once my dad rejoined our group we got back in line and picked a side. We still got on before that rude man. I feel bad for his kids.)

Unfiltered Story #144674

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2019

I work in a popular theme in the stores. In my area we bounce around the entire area but have our “home” stores which we get scheduled kn most often. About 2 months before this story my friend from my home store has been promoted from part time to full time in another store and afterwards hadn’t been scheduled my store. She was missing her original home so one day we swapped shifts and I work in her new store which I had worked before but was not completely familiar with. In her home store there were 2 sections of the floor where everything was in boxes by names and then a display case of all the items in the section (minus the names, so you basically just had to know by the item). With nearly 30 different items I was only familiar with about 10 of them so most of my time on this section of the floor went similar to this:

guest: who did this one belong too?

me: good question, i have no idea. let’s go on a scavenger hunt

And then me and the guest would proceed to open all different names until we found the right one. Most guests found it funny or were very paitent and understanding that I didn’t usually work in that store. The ones that were in a hurry to get out I’d ask to wait a moment while I asked someone who did work in the store which box it was.

Overall the adventure was fun and I enjoyed the new location for a day.