Seriously, It’s Just A Joke

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Uncategorized

(I am loading guests onto boats at my ride, on which everybody gets wet and all seats are red, when my boss makes a joke over the intercom.)

Boss: “If you’re in a red seat, you will get wet. The red seats are the wet seats. The blue seats are the dry seats.”

Guest: “I’d like a blue seat, please.”

Me: (gesturing at the boat) “All the seats are red.”

Guest: “But I don’t want to get wet.”

Me: “This is a water ride. You will get wet.”

Guest: “Not in a blue seat. He just said.”

Me: “He was making a joke. See? All the seats are red.”

Guest: “Okay.” *pause* “Which seats are the dry seats, then?”

Do As I Say, Not As I Play

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(A little girl approaches me by herself.)

Little Girl: “The game I was playing didn’t give me all of my tickets.”

Me: “Do you know what the game was called?”

Little Girl: “Uhh…no.”

Me: “Well, if you could just go find out the name of the game and come back and tell me, I can send someone over there to help you.”

(She walks back into the arcade. Thirty seconds later, a very angry looking man walks up to my counter.)

Customer: “Why the h*** would you send her back there by herself? She’s only 8 years old!”

Me: “Well, she came up here unsupervised.”

Customer: “I was playing a game! I couldn’t stop in the middle of my game!”

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21st Century Courtship

| San Antonio, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

(I am an 18 year old male. I’m working one of the rides when a younger male comes up to me.)

Teenager: “Hi.”

Me: “Hey.”

Teenager: “Will you hug my little sister?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Teenager: “It’s a dare, just hug her!”

Me: “No thank you?”

Teenager: “Why not?”

Me: “I might getting arrested for pedophilia.”

Teenager: “What?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Teenager: “You’re gay aren’t you? I bet you’re gay. That’s why you won’t do it!””

Me: “That’s it, I’m gay. I don’t want to hug your sister because I’m gay.”

Teenager: “Oh. Will you hug me, then?”

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Completely Immersed In The Lesson

| Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School, Uncategorized

(I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

Mother: “ Who are you?”

Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

How To Balls Up Simple Math

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Money, Uncategorized

Customer: “How much to play?”

Me: “Two dollars for three balls.”

Customer: “How much for three people?”

Me: “Same price, so six dollars.”

Customer: “How about five dollars for us all to have one ball?”

Me: “Well, I’m getting the better end of that deal. So of course!”

Customer: “Thanks. The boss doesn’t have to know.”

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