They Crossed The Line

| Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(A group of girls is cutting people in a long line for a roller coaster. They try and cut the guy behind me.)

Guy Behind Me: “Woah, hold up!”

Group Of Girls: “Excuse me!”

Guy Behind Me: “I’m not letting you cut me!”

(Everyone in line who has been cut starts to side with the guy behind me. The girls start screaming when out of nowhere, a security guard appears.)

Security Guard: *to one of the girls* “Ma’am, please come with us.”

(The security guard escorts the group of girls out of the line.)

Guy Behind Me: “Na na na na, na na na na!”

Everyone In Line: “Hey hey hey, Goodbye!”

Age Before Snooty

| MA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am dealing with a bratty 15-year-old girl, who’s dissatisfied with her caricature that my coworker drew of her. She’s obnoxiously making a big scene in front of a crowd.)

Me: “We can have another artist redraw it for you if you’d like.”

Girl: “Whatever! You are all just jealous because you’re old!”

Me: “Well, you’ll be our age someday.”

Girl: “Not if I die young!”

Me: *placidly* “We can only hope.”

He Is Twice The Man

| Orlando, FL, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

(For the Halloween season, we’re running several horror houses, which aren’t otherwise open throughout the year. Light-up devices aren’t allowed inside any of the houses, and as a queue supervisor, I’ve been warning people of this via a cute spiel I made up.)

Me: “There are no light-up devices allowed inside. It will make it easier to find you, and you will be eaten alive most violently!”

(At this point, a guest, who seems to have had both legs amputated and is in a wheelchair, speaks up.)

Guest: “But I’ve already been half-eaten!”