Displaying Your Stupidity

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work as a food stand attendant. The day has been a hot one, so we’ve been selling out of drinks. We offer two kinds of bottled water but are currently out of [Cheaper Brand], so I’ve taken it off the drink display. However, it’s still on the sign that indicates prices. The next guest in line steps up.)

Guest: “I’d like a bottle of water.”

(Keep in mind that everyone else before her has been buying the remaining brand of water the whole time, so I just assume that this is what she wants.)

Me: “Sure, it’ll be four dollars.”

Guest: *irritated* “But it says three dollars on your sign.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. That’s actually the price for [Cheaper Brand], which we ran out of. Right now we only have the four dollar bottle.”

Guest: “Well, how was I supposed to know that you were out of it if you didn’t have it on display?!”

Me: *speechless for a second* “Um… so you want me to put it on display even though we don’t have it…?”

Guest: *seems to realize how illogical she sounded and stomps off without her drink*


In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am currently working at a famous theme park when an irate customer stomps up to me basically dragging her son along.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “My son wants to go on [Extremely Popular Attraction], but there are a ton of people in the way.”

Me: “You need to wait in line like everyone else, ma’am. May I interest you in getting a Fast Pass?”

Customer: *yelling* “JUST TAKE ME AND MY SON TO THE FRONT, GOD-D*** IT!”

Me: “If I let you to the front of the line, then I’d have to let everyone to the front of the line.”

Customer: “Then why don’t you do that, dumb b****?”

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 12
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 11
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 10


Coming Face To Face With A Little Haggler

| FL, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working at a face painting location in a major theme park. I notice a small child, at most five years old, staring at the sign with all the designs on it. After a moment or two, the girl approaches me.)

Girl: “How much is it?”

Me: “Hello! Face painting is $12 to $18! The price depends on which one you pick.”

(At this point, she gives me a dirty look.)

Girl: “That’s too much! Can you lower the price?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t lower the price.”

Girl: “Ugh! Where’s your manager?!”

Me: *trying not to burst out laughing* “She’s not here right now.”

(The girl then turned and stormed off back to her parents, who were sitting on a bench across the way and had no intention of letting her get her face painted in the first place.)


Pretzel Cocktails

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am working at a vending location that sells pretzels.)

Customer: “I would like two salted pretzels.”

Customer’s Seven-Year-Old Daughter: “I don’t like salt!”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t like salt? You love the salt on my margaritas.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: *to me* “What’s your problem? Is it because I let her lick my margarita?”

Me: “Here are your pretzels, ma’am.”


Sweetly Blessed

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I work at Hogsmeade in the Universal Studios Hollywood.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am! Welcome to [Candy Shop]. Did you find everything you like?

Guest: “Do you have those glass candy feather pens? My daughter loves these things.”

Me: “You mean the sugar quills, right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. I want one of those candy feather pens. So, do you have those?”

Me: *takes a small breath of air, smiles, and walks from behind the counter and gets a sugar quill from a stand* “You mean this right?”

Guest: “Oh, bless your heart. Yes, that is what it looks like!”

(I ring her up and she looks at her receipt after I bag everything up for her.)

Guest: “Honey, you gave me the wrong item. That is not a candy feather pen.”

Me: “Ma’am, quills are feathered pens. They aren’t anything else. Please have a Magical day and… bless your heart.”

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