Mall Brats

| Netherlands | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(My theatre group does a play at an amusement park. We often walk around the park in costume to tell visitors about the play. Note that the play was about two "bad guys" who wanted to cut all the trees to build a large shopping mall in the forest.)

Me: “Did you see those two guys? They want to build a mall here. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds bad!”

Little Girl: “You really don’t know what a mall is?”

Me: “No, I just live here in the forest.”

Little Girl: *with piercing eyes* “Really. I mean in real life.”

Me: “I really live here!”

Little Girl: “No, I mean when you’re in your normal clothes.”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, in real life I know what a mall is.”

Little Girl: *looks satisfied* “I knew it!”

At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

| Seattle, WA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of 5th graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

*silence*

Kid in the back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”

Goodbye Dolly

| Indiana, USA | School, Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [town] High School?”

Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

Customer: “How many seats are left?”

Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”