Unfiltered Story #156863

, , | Unfiltered | July 6, 2019

(I am working at the coffee bar of a theatre I often perform for in August. I am selling cookies and drinks for patrons during the intermission of a play I am not in. A large music festival is happening the next weekend in a large city not far away.)

Patron #1: *to friend* No, [Festival] is in, like, October.

Patron #2: I thought it was at the end of August.

(I finish helping the patron in front of them, then get them their cookies. As they are walking away, I call out to Patron #1.)

Me: By the way, [Festival] is the 15th and 16th in [Park]. I think there are still a few tickets left.

Patron #1: Really? Wow!

(He walks away with his friend ecstatic. It made my night.)

Not Married To The Idea Of The Suit

, , , , | Friendly | May 30, 2019

(I am in a community theater play that is set in the 1970s. We’re asked to try to find period clothes. I come in wearing a suit from the time.)

Cast Member: “That is one ugly suit!”

Me: “Yeah.”

Cast Member: “I’m serious. It’s like something Pee Wee Herman would wear. Where did you get it?”

Me: “It’s the suit my dad got married in.”

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Unfiltered Story #144541

, , , | Unfiltered | March 18, 2019

(I used to work at the reservations desk for a dinner theatre.  Since this was pre-Internet, people would often call to find out some information about the play before deciding whether or not they wanted to see it.  These calls would be the most frequent when we had a new show starting and word-of-mouth hadn’t happened yet.)

Caller:  Can you give me some information about (new show that just started)?
Me:  Of course!  It stars (b-list actor from old TV series), and its plot is (details).
Caller:  Is that all you can tell me?
Me:  Um … it’s about 3 hours long, including the time to serve the meal.
Caller:  No, no.  You’re not telling me anything useful.
Me:  What else would you like to know?
Caller:  Well, is it funny?
Me:  I’m afraid I can’t answer that – I’ve never seen it.
Caller:  What?  Why not?
Me:  Um, I just haven’t.  (Note:  employees used to get free tickets to the opening night of new shows, but the theatre had recently ended that practice.  Since I was a poor student, I couldn’t afford to buy the tickets myself.  I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell the caller that, however.)
Caller:  This is ridiculous!  How am I supposed to know whether or not to buy tickets if your information is so limited?
Me:  I’m very sorry that I couldn’t be more help.
Caller:  *click*

A week later, the theatre received an angry letter about how useless “the girl” (i.e. me) had been, and how they would never buy tickets to any of our shows again if that was the level of incompetence they could expect from the theatre.  My boss was furious and vowed to fire whomever was responsible.  Luckily, the caller didn’t mention my name, so I kept that job for a little longer until I found something better.

When Dead Center Is Not Dead Enough

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2019

(I am working in the box office, doing phone sales. I help a dithering customer by choosing the best available seats for their choice of show.)

Me: “So, your seats are dead centre.”

Customer: “Is that roughly in the middle?”

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A Comedy Of Errors

, , , | Right | February 2, 2019

(There is another concert theater near the one where I work, and we get calls about their performances a lot. Most people just accept their mistake and end the call when we tell them they’ve got the wrong box office, but not this guy.)

Me: “[Theater] box office; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi there. I just saw an ad for [Concert] at [Other Theater]. How do I get tickets for that?”

Me: “You’ve reached the [Theater] box office, not the [Other Theater] box office, so you would have to contact them. I believe they also sell tickets on [Popular Ticketing Site] but I’m not certain.”

Customer: “I know you’re not the same theater. Anyway, how much are those tickets?”

Me: “Well, sir, you would have to contact [Other Theater] for that information.”

Customer: “Oh! Well, I just thought that you would know that since you’re in the same area.”

Me: “We’re not affiliated with [Other Theater].”

Customer: “Okay, then. Bye.”

(I wonder if he goes to restaurants and asks about their competitors’ menus?)

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