Intern(ment) Camp

, | Working | June 6, 2016

(I’m an intern at a sound and light rental company. Since the beginning of my internship there, i have been nothing but degraded, put down, and had to deal with remarks like ‘are you retarded or just incompetent’ and ‘lazy ass cow.’ I’m already in the process of finding another place to do my internship but decency obliges me to stay in this firm until things are settled with my next intern address. Plus, my boss is on vacation so I can’t just leave. I’m busy loading the truck with equipment that’s quite heavy. Meanwhile, my colleague is testing some microphones, taking his sweet time doing so. I can’t lift one piece of equipment onto the truck on my own so i ask him to give me a hand.)

Coworker: “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’ll help you in a second.”

(I wait for a bit. He is still taking his sweet time testing the mics. I look around if there is other stuff to do, but there isn’t really anything. I go and ask him again.)

Coworker: “Geez, girl, can’t you do anything on your own? I’ll be there in a minute! Go smoke a cigarette or something.”

Me: “You know I don’t smoke.”

Coworker: “Whatever. Go do something for yourself. See if I care.”

Me: “Really? It will take you like ten seconds to come and help me out. If you could just do that we both can get on with our business.”

Coworker: *inaudible mumbling*

(Again, I wait. I get a text message in the meantime and go check it. Right there and then, my other coworker, who has declared himself ‘boss’ in my actual boss’ absence, comes to me.)

Coworker #2: “God-d*** it! Now I see you fiddling with your phone again! You lazy, stupid girl! I’m so d*** tired of you! If you think you’re too good to do anything around here you’re in for something!”

(I’m baffled with the injustice, and I try to say something but decide I’m not in the mood for a fight.)

Me: “You know what, dude? You’re right. Okay? You’re absolutely right. Whatever you say.”

Coworker #2: “Don’t you put on that disrespectful tone towards me! You know who you are talking to? I deserve some d*** respect from you!” (the guy is my age: 24)

Me: “For real?! Do I still have the right to stand up for myself here or not?”

Coworker #2: “No, you don’t! And if you don’t like it you can pack up and leave!”

Me: *suddenly calm* “Okay.”

(I grabbed my stuff and left. Coworker #1 suddenly hurried to lift the equipment into the truck, giving me an absolute death-glare. When my boss returned he didn’t even have the decency to have a normal evaluation talk with me without picking a fight. I never came back after that. Thankfully I found a new intern-place right after that was a hundred times better!)

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His First Kiss Was A Joke

, , , , | Romantic | November 19, 2013

(My girlfriend and I have just kissed for the first time.)

Me: “That was actually my first kiss ever.”

Girlfriend: “Oh, I didn’t know!”

(I tell her a joke.)

Girlfriend: *confused* “Why are you telling me a joke now?”

Me: “Well, people say you always remember your first kiss, and since I am never able to remember jokes, I wonder if I would now remember this one forever!”

(That was over 13 years ago. We’re happily married, and I still remember I told her a joke. Unfortunately, I really can’t remember which joke it was anymore. So much for that plan. The good news is that I fondly remember the kiss though!)

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Sheldon Cooper Dating Amy Farrah-Fowler, Part 8

, , , , , | Romantic | August 22, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are talking. We are both blonde, him more so than me.)

Me: “We would make such blonde babies.”

Boyfriend: “We would, indeed.”

Me: “We could repopulate the world when blondes die out!”

Boyfriend: “We would be doing the world a favor. With smart blondes, even!”

Me: “We would make pretty Sheldon Coopers.”

Boyfriend: “Indeed. The world would be a better place.”

Me: “Full of socially-awkward smart people and science everywhere!”

Boyfriend: “Indeed. To the bedroom!”


This story is part of the Nerds In Love roundup!

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Forget The Announcements, Here Come The Pronouncements

, , , , | Romantic | November 7, 2011

(It’s my friend’s wedding. His bride-to-be has some behavioral issues, so not everyone is happy about their marriage. Nonetheless, I decide to go over to my friend’s mother and congratulate her.)

Me: “Hi! Congratulations on your son’s marriage!

Friend’s Mother: “Don’t you mean, ‘My condolences’?”

Me: *awkward silence*

(On the other side of the room, we see my friend being congratulated by a female friend. Immediately, the bride storms over and pulls my friend away.)

Friend’s Mother: “I give them three weeks before one murders the other.”

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Do Not Pass Go

, | Right | January 21, 2011

(My company provides web design and hosting. A new customer, who’s just been sent his e-mail settings and password to his private account, calls.)

Customer: “I followed the instructions on setting up my e-mail, but my mail client keeps giving an error.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the error?”

Customer: “It says ‘error logging into remote server’.”

Me: “Right. You’re sure you entered the correct credentials from the mail we sent you?”

(The customer affirms that, so I logon to the mail server to examine the logs.)

Me: “Okay, I’m looking at the logs right now. Can you try to login again, so I can see what the exact error message is the server is giving?”

(Over the next ten minutes or so I try a few other things.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m running out of options. Just to be sure, could you literally copy and paste your password into the password field? Every so often people mistake a zero for an ‘O’ or such.”

Customer: “That’s not necessary. I always use the same password for all my email accounts. I think I know it pretty well.” *chuckles confidently*

Me: “Sir, how would we know your preferred password? You’ll need to enter the one in the account mail we sent you.”

Customer: “Ah, I had been wondering what that funny word was.”

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