Blind Sided By The Service

, , , , | Hopeless | June 14, 2017

(I was hit by a car while I was on my bike, and even though I am fine, my sparkling new bike was not. It looks as if it can be repaired, so I go to the store where I bought the bike. I explain what happened and that I think there is a ‘bump’ in the rear-tire.)

Owner: “Sure, it looks easy enough to fix. Let’s take it to our shop in the back. Our mechanic is there.”

(The owner takes me there, calls out to the mechanic, and leaves. The mechanic comes towards me and I notice something ‘off.’ It takes a moment, but then I realise the mechanic is blind! The mechanic takes my bike and I’m a bit worried; how can a blind person fix my bike? The mechanic tells me to return within a day. At the end of the day, I return. The mechanic takes me to my bike.)

Mechanic: “So, that bump you felt? It was in your front-tire, not the back. And your light should be fixed as well.” *I assume he’s near-blind or asked someone else* “I also fixed the chain, the protectors, and—” *continues listing things that were broken, touching everything*

Me: “Ah, sure… thanks. So, what’s the damage? How much?”

Mechanic: “How much? The owner told me this was still under warranty! So, you pay nothing!”

(My jaw dropped and I thanked him a lot. The owner was nowhere to be found. When I got on my bike, it felt like brand new! That day I learned a LOT about blind people. 10 years later, my bike needed maintenance at the tires again. Guess who fixed my bike again?)

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Not A Picture-Perfect Celebrity Encounter

, | Right | June 7, 2017

(I’m a public photographer at a local dolphin park, meaning I stand at the entrance and ask people if they want to have their picture taken, which they can purchase at a kiosk later, granted that they like the picture. I approach a man and a woman.)

Me: “Good day, would you like to have your picture taken?”

Guest: “What does that cost?”

Me: “The pictures are eight euros each, but it’s totally non-binding if you choose not to purchase the picture.”

Guest: “Eight euros? That little? That’s ridiculous! We mostly charge way more for our pictures!”

Me: *thinking i misheard him* “Ehm, excuse me?”

Guest: *points at the woman* “Don’t you know who this is! She’s famous! Hence, YOU should pay us for the right of taking a picture of us! I can’t believe you don’t know who she is!”

Me: “With all due respect, I have never seen you people in my life and even if you were somehow famous, the picture still costs eight euros to purchase.”

(The woman stands there smugly, but says nothing all this time.)

Guest: “I’m her manager! I tell you, she’s famous!” *suddenly smiling* “Lucky you, getting to take a picture of this celebrity! This is [Woman]!” *as if it should ring an obvious bell*

Me: “Again, I have never heard of you nor seen you. If you choose not to get a picture, that is fine…”

Guest: “I do! But you gotta pay me.”

Me: “No. It doesn’t work that way.”

Guest: “Well, FINE then! But you missed out on an opportunity to photograph [Woman]. She’s famous!”

(They stormed off. Judging on how they looked it was probably one of those Dutch-Schlager genre karaoke singers. We have a lot of those here in the Netherlands; people who can’t exactly sing but still change their name to ‘Singer Whatever,’ because they sang over an pre-programmed synth beat once and recorded it and think they are Lady Gaga ever since.)

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Neck-Breaking Calmness

, , , | Related | June 7, 2017

(When I was a kid, I went out swimming in the river close to my house one day with some friends. At one point, we want to dive into the river head first, but I don’t realise the river is very shallow at that point, so I end up landing on my head, hard. One of my friends is sent to inform my mother, and this is how they choose to do so:)

Kid: *calmly and cheerfully* “Mrs. [Name], I just wanted to let you know [My Name] fell on her head. But you don’t have to worry; the ambulance is already there.”

(My mother never ran so fast in her entire life. I had actually broken my neck, but after several months in the hospital with sandbags on both sides of my head so I couldn’t move it, I made a full recovery, and a year later I even became regional judo-champion!)

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Stealing Never Tasted So Sweet

, , | Friendly | June 2, 2017

(When I was a kid, my parents had an allotment garden on the edge of the town, where they used to grow lots of vegetables and fruits. Near the lane, there was a bramble. One day, my mother sees a small family, shamelessly eating OUR blackberries from it! My mom goes to take a look and speak up to them.)

Lady: “Are these blackberries yours, ma’am? Really, delicious!”

(Seriously, what the…?)

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Intern(ment) Camp

, | Working | June 6, 2016

(I’m an intern at a sound and light rental company. Since the beginning of my internship there, i have been nothing but degraded, put down, and had to deal with remarks like ‘are you retarded or just incompetent’ and ‘lazy ass cow.’ I’m already in the process of finding another place to do my internship but decency obliges me to stay in this firm until things are settled with my next intern address. Plus, my boss is on vacation so I can’t just leave. I’m busy loading the truck with equipment that’s quite heavy. Meanwhile, my colleague is testing some microphones, taking his sweet time doing so. I can’t lift one piece of equipment onto the truck on my own so i ask him to give me a hand.)

Coworker: “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’ll help you in a second.”

(I wait for a bit. He is still taking his sweet time testing the mics. I look around if there is other stuff to do, but there isn’t really anything. I go and ask him again.)

Coworker: “Geez, girl, can’t you do anything on your own? I’ll be there in a minute! Go smoke a cigarette or something.”

Me: “You know I don’t smoke.”

Coworker: “Whatever. Go do something for yourself. See if I care.”

Me: “Really? It will take you like ten seconds to come and help me out. If you could just do that we both can get on with our business.”

Coworker: *inaudible mumbling*

(Again, I wait. I get a text message in the meantime and go check it. Right there and then, my other coworker, who has declared himself ‘boss’ in my actual boss’ absence, comes to me.)

Coworker #2: “God-d*** it! Now I see you fiddling with your phone again! You lazy, stupid girl! I’m so d*** tired of you! If you think you’re too good to do anything around here you’re in for something!”

(I’m baffled with the injustice, and I try to say something but decide I’m not in the mood for a fight.)

Me: “You know what, dude? You’re right. Okay? You’re absolutely right. Whatever you say.”

Coworker #2: “Don’t you put on that disrespectful tone towards me! You know who you are talking to? I deserve some d*** respect from you!” (the guy is my age: 24)

Me: “For real?! Do I still have the right to stand up for myself here or not?”

Coworker #2: “No, you don’t! And if you don’t like it you can pack up and leave!”

Me: *suddenly calm* “Okay.”

(I grabbed my stuff and left. Coworker #1 suddenly hurried to lift the equipment into the truck, giving me an absolute death-glare. When my boss returned he didn’t even have the decency to have a normal evaluation talk with me without picking a fight. I never came back after that. Thankfully I found a new intern-place right after that was a hundred times better!)

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