Unfiltered Story #110683

, | Unfiltered | May 13, 2018

Customer: I’ll have the steak.
Me; Of course. Medium?
Customer: No, large.

Both Rooms Involve An Eventual Release

, , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

(We’re discussing possible activities for our annual team outing. We discussed the possibility of going to an escape room some days prior.)

Coworker: “Before it comes up again, I’m not going to one of those dark rooms! I’m not going, if that’s what we’re doing!”

Me: “[Coworker], I can promise you we will not be going to a dark room for our team outing. I’ll explain the difference between an escape room and a dark room later. On second thought… Maybe not.”

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Unfiltered Story #110350

, | Unfiltered | May 8, 2018

(One of our departments is notorious for consisting mainly of middle-aged women who don’t seem to be the most… jolly. The sphere up there is one of silence and grumpiness, with some people doing their work quite slow and sloppy. The only male coworker at the department is also slow and sloppy. Like his coworkers, he rarely smiles and he complains a lot. One day, he has to work downstairs with us, which we do not really enjoy. When he goes out for a break, I can’t resist saying something to my team leader and another supervisor.)

Me: *jokingly* “You know, that was a very rare thing, back there. It’s a very strange experience to see the man smile.”

Supervisor: “You call that a man?”

Me: “Ehm… yes…? What would you call him, then?”

Supervisor: “A eunuch. Since he hasn’t got any balls.”

Eleventh-Hour Decision On The Twelve-Hour Job

, , , , | Working | May 7, 2018

(I graduate as an elementary school teacher, but after college I remain with my “college job” because of the great pay, good hours, and low stress. However, they unexpectedly fire me without a good reason, and I need to look for a job when the economy is quite bad. Luckily, my lawyer manages to cut a deal with my old job, giving me some breathing space for a month or two. I send out many applications, for schools and other jobs. I finally get an interview with a daycare, for a position I am quite overqualified for. The daycare offers a decent pay, which would allow me to make ends meet, but have no more money left for saving up or fun things. Still, it’s better than nothing.)

Manager: “Thank you so much for coming! I was very impressed by your resume and qualifications!” *goes off in a standard spiel, I answer whatever she asks* “Now, let me show you around!”

(She shows me the daycare, from the little ones’ area to the after school program with the bigger ones. Since it’s during school hours, there is no one here.)

Manager: “The kids usually just play, but we expect you to think of fun projects for them to do, once in a while.”

(It dawns on me that she expects me to be in the after school program, which is pretty much from three pm until six pm, for four days a week: only twelve hours. The position offered, however, was for 36 hours. I ask her about this.)

Manager: “Oh, no, no, no, that’s what we offer full-fledged daycare employees, and that’s not what we’re looking for right now. But this position is open.”

(After the interview, I have a long train ride home and do my calculations. With the pay they offer, with no travel expenses covered, I could only pay half of my current rent, with no money left for anything else. I think about a second job, but the hours this job offers — I would need to come in early but only get paid the hours the kids are there, and leave late — give me little options. When I get home, my phone rings:)

Manager: “Hello! We talked about it and you are just perfect for the job!”

Me: “I am sorry, I thought about it, but I don’t think the job is something for me. I thank you, though.”

Manager: “But, but… you are perfect!”

Me: “Yes, but I thought things through, and I realized I won’t be able to pay my rent.”

Manager: *angry* “Then why did you apply?!”

Me: “I thought the position held more hours. Again, I am very sorry but I can’t take this position.”

Manager: “Well, thanks for nothing!”

(The manager hung up. I now understand why they were so eager to get me: a full-fledged teacher on a pay barely more than what you’d give a babysitter.)

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Use Your Ears And Your Eyes

, , , , | Working | May 2, 2018

(I work in a factory in the Netherlands, with a lot of immigrants. Some of them still struggle with speaking Dutch, but they really try to learn, and encourage everyone to talk to them in Dutch. I have a young colleague from Morocco, but born in the Netherlands, who always likes to mess around. He asks one of the immigrants to pass him something from across the assembly table. Upon receiving it, he suddenly points at his nose and yells, “Nose!” Cue laughter from the whole table for the random act. The Moroccan dude just smiles. Later, he asks the guy to pass him something else. This time he points at his eyes and yells, “Eyes!”)

Me: “Dude… What are you doing?”

Coworker: “They want to learn Dutch, right? I’m helping them! This way they remember!”

(So, for the rest of the day, he shouted more body parts at random, pointing at each part with every word. In the end of the day, he quizzed the immigrant guy by just pointing at the body parts and sure enough, this guy blurted out all the right words.)

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