Hashtag Me Moo?

, , , , , | Working | March 16, 2018

(I read a story about Japan on this site and I remember a story a coworker once told me.)

Coworker: “I was in Japan for a business trip and we went to a cafe of some sort. It was quite noisy, and I thought one of the Japanese businessmen asked me what I thought about Japanese cows. I thought it was weird, but since I was just served steak, I just went with it. I told them I thought their cows were nice and firm, having good meat on them. As a response, the businessmen started laughing. It turns out they asked what I thought about Japanese girls.”

Not A Dull Way To Go

, , , | Working | March 13, 2018

(Our restaurant is part of a chain, so the direct superior to the branch manager is the regional manager, who visits from time to time. This regional manager is not very popular with the employees, since his “working in the field” practically means he comes in and starts looking for mistakes, criticising the staff for lamps which aren’t hanging at the same height, or for having stuff they really need laying in sight because it “doesn’t look nice.” One of my coworkers, known to be a wannabe tough guy, despises the man. This coworker recently put in his notice.)

Coworker: “Pity [Regional Manager] didn’t show up this week. If he does, I’m really going to act like a total weirdo. [Other Coworker] and I even rehearsed a bit for it.”

Me: “Really?”

Coworker: “Yeah, we would put on our cap the wrong way and shout–” *stupid, childlike voice* “’HEEEYYYYY, [REGIONAL MANAGER]! WHY DO THE KNIVES ALWAYS GO DULL?’” And then we’d smash the knives on the metal table, like this.” *makes a smashing gesture*

Me: “Would you really have done that?”

Coworker: “Yeah, because then, he would have fired me! And then I could be like, ‘HAHA! I ALREADY PUT IN MY NOTICE!’”

Paid Fun Doesn’t Pay Off

, , , | Working | March 13, 2018

(Our job isn’t really rocket science, so my coworker and I often engage in small talk during work. Some of my hobbies are quite creative. I play alto saxophone in a harmony orchestra, and I am also a history reenactor. Both hobbies require a performance now and then. Every time I mention this coming up, the dialogue goes the same.)

Coworker: “Do you get paid for it?”

Me: “Erm, no?”

Coworker: “Then what’s the use of doing it?”

Me: “Ever heard of having fun?”

(The best part of it: [Coworker] doesn’t seem to have any hobbies at all, filling his free time with looking on the Internet, watching TV, “hanging out,” and “chilling.” Much more useful, of course.)

Your Timing Is Just Sick

, , , , | Healthy | March 1, 2018

(It is evening. I feel I am getting the flu, and that it won’t be better in the morning. I let my team manager know that I will call in sick tomorrow. I stay home for two days and show up at work again. In the stand-up meeting, my manager addresses me.)

Manager: “[My Name], I want to talk about how you called in sick recently. It’s a pity you did so in the evening. It was too early. You should have waited until the morning, like always, and decided then.”

(Everyone in the circle nods and sighs.)

Me: “I don’t understand. I mean, it is good to know it up front, so you can plan ahead with my colleagues.”

Manager: “No, that is not how it works. You showed yourself weak by calling in early. Never do that again.”

(As a result, from then on, those few days a year I was actually sick, I always waited until at least eleven in the morning until I called in, despite HRM wanting to know it as soon as possible every day.)

Understanding The Mechanics Of The Situation

, , , | Right | February 28, 2018

(I am having tea with my mother at her house, and while I am there a mechanic for the electricity meter comes by. The meter cupboard is in the hallway; my mom and I are in the living room. These two rooms are separated by a door. Occasionally the mechanic has to ask a my mom question, and every time he announces his entrance into the room with a knock on the door, while we are just chatting and drinking tea. In short, he is very polite and no bother at all. This happens after he has been at work for about half an hour. There is a knock on the door.)

Mechanic: “Excuse me. Do you mind if I use your bathroom for a second?”

Mom: “Oh, of course. That is no problem!”

Mechanic: “Oh, thanks; that’s not always so self-evident.”

(He leaves the living room to go the bathroom.)

Mom: “What did he mean by that? Do you really think some people refuse to let him use their bathroom?”

Me: “I’m not sure; it sounds like it.”

Mom: “Wow. I’ll ask him when he comes back.”

(A while later, the mechanic enters the living room again with a question.)

Mom: “Hey, when you said that it is not always so self-evident, did you mean that some people don’t let you use their bathroom?”

Mechanic: “Oh, yeah, sure. That happens quite regularly. It’s not even the worst thing to happen.”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Mechanic: “Well, sometimes I walk into a house and there is a line of tape on the floor, and the customer tells me that I am not allowed to go beyond that line, into their house.”

Mom: *shocked* “No way. People really do that?”

Mechanic: “Oh, yeah. You just learn to deal with it.”

(My mom and I were left stunned with the lack of respect some people have for service workers.)

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