A Rant Before The Grumble Before The Complaint

, , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

(Whenever the restaurant where I used to work received a letter of complaint, the manager used to hang it up with the important points highlighted. In one case, this was understandable. Although several points of the writer were right, the letter was written very poorly and made us more laugh than take it seriously.)

Letter: ‘Dear sir. A while ago I visited your restaurant and ate a wok-cooked meal. After that I had intestinal complaints for a while. I won’t go over the quality of the meal.’

(All right, but why is this our fault? If it is, please explain and how did you find out? If there is no explanation, for all we know it might be a coincidence.)

Letter: *continued* “About nine pm I went back into the buffet. The restaurant was still open, but that doesn’t keep the young [female form of workers] from screaming at each other, while the floor was wet, and to throw with the cutlery.”

(So… apparently shouting is okay as long as the floor isn’t wet? I also wondered why he used a female form of “workers,”  since the behaviour more sounded like some male coworkers I knew. I guess the guy wrote down “workers” in a quite literal sense (instead of “employees”), which his autocorrect turned into a female form, meaning as much as “cleaning ladies”.)

Letter: *cont.* “A few weeks later I came here again. I had a foreign guest with me. He had a pizza and a plate of salad, and I had a chicken breast. He says that the salad wasn’t fresh and he didn’t like his pizza and left half of it untouched.”

(The salad was made fresh every day, and concerning the pizza: again, why would this be our fault? Especially since you didn’t mention it to us back then.)

Letter: ‘When later, I walked back into the buffet, I saw that people were already cleaning part of the metal plates, while there was still meat on the plates. I don’t think this is hygienic behaviour [sic] and this is why I want to make a complaint.’

(Oh, wait. THAT was the complaint. So all the other grumbling was just… decoration?)

Over-Reaction To Under-Cooking

, , , , | Right | December 29, 2018

In our restaurant, you pay at the counter before sitting down and eating. I’m taking away the dishes from the guests who have left. At one table, I see a pizza of which most isn’t eaten. Next to it lies a napkin, with a piece of meat on it. There is writing on the napkin.

It says: “Well, what do you think of this?”

Apparently the guest thought the meat wasn’t well-done enough. That’s fair enough, but if he had just come to me and made a complaint in a less original manner, he might have received new food for free or got a refund.

Sliding Into Best Boss A Little Easier Than Intended

, , , , , , | Working | December 20, 2018

I work at a game development studio, leading a small team, and am known for going the extra mile for my team. Being prone to headaches and common colds, I have a small pharmacy in my desk drawer. One day a team member strolls in, who’s clearly caught a bug.

As soon as I notice my team member coughing and sniffing, I can’t help but go into “protective” mode. I ask, “Hi, how are you feeling today?” He admits to being under the weather, but he expresses wanting to be here and help the team meet the deadline. Even after reassuring him the team will manage without him, he’s adamant on staying, so I decide the least I can do is make him a little comfortable. “Here’s a pack of tissues. I have spares in my drawer, so take whatever you need. There’s painkillers, as well, and even some Vaseline in case your nose gets a bit raw from blowing your nose.”

Slowly a grin starts spreading on his face. He takes a deep breath before saying, “Thank you for that offer of drugs, tissues, and lubricants.” I get flustered, but I can’t help but laugh. After all, a dirty mind is a joy forever.

Put All Your Eggs In One Carton

, , , | Working | December 18, 2018

(I’m at the supermarket to get some eggs. I pick a box and, like always, I check the eggs. I notice an egg with a crack. I don’t want to be “that customer” who just puts the egg back and takes another carton, so I decide to hand it in to an employee. Luckily, he is right next to me.)

Me: “Excuse me, but this egg is broken.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me take that egg from you. You can pick an egg from one of the other cartons.”

(He walked away and I turned to the rack of eggs again. It then dawned on me that by picking an egg from another carton, I would have a complete set… but another carton would be incomplete! Instead, I picked another complete carton, checked the eggs, and left the incomplete carton — with the lid open — near the employee’s cart with stock. I don’t know what his train of thought was, but at least he was — trying to be — helpful!)

Urine Need Of An Appointment

, , , | Healthy | December 13, 2018

(I am still a teenager when this happens. I’ve had several bladder infections, which took a while to diagnose because I am a man, “and men never get urine infections.” Luckily my GP and parents take me seriously after the final diagnosis, so if I feel it coming, I pee in a pot, take it to the GP, and he does the test and gives me the antibiotics. A cause has yet to be found. One day I wake up in immense pain. I suspect bladder infection, but I can hardly squeeze anything out. The result also looks different, and I immediately go to the GP with my parents and my little jar. I don’t have to wait for long, and when the GP sees the little jar, he gets ready for the normal tests. Then… he suddenly turns back and takes the jar.)

GP: “Wait… I officially have to test this, but please go to the hospital right away.”

Father: “What is wrong?”

GP: “It’s a bladder infection, I’m positive but…” *he shows the jar, which holds three separate layers of fluids* “This is blood, this is proteins, and this is urine. It’s not supposed to separate… at all. Please leave right away, while I test this.”

(When I reached the hospital, results were in, a bed was made ready, and I spent a week at the hospital with a very severe bladder infection. I still often feel bladder infections coming, but it turns out my body responds really well to cranberry juice, so I haven’t had any need for antibiotics ever since!)

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