Pokémon Go To Jail

, , , | Legal | November 9, 2018

(My husband plays Pokémon Go. One evening, at ten pm, I am taking a shower and he spots a rare Pokémon “on the radar.” He decides to head out; he’ll be gone for only ten minutes so he doesn’t tell me he’s leaving. He grabs his black hoodie and rushes out of the door. While he is running down the street, he notices a car pulling up next to him, matching his speed. Since he’s heading towards a corner, he slows down, so the car can take the corner without waiting. However, the car slows down, as well. My husband stops. The car stops and the lights fade. Only then my husband notices the orange and blue stripes: a Dutch police car. The cop rolls down a window and calls out a name, which isn’t my husband’s name. The cop leaves the car.)

Cop: “Sir, what are you doing here?”

Husband: “I was on my way to catch a Pokémon.”

(He shows his phone that has the app running. He then notices the cop did not come alone; there is a second car, a van, with more cops inside.)

Cop: “I see. We are looking for [Suspect], and you fit the description perfectly.”

(My husband now gets nervous. It’s clearly a case of mistaken identity, but even he admits he looks suspicious; he’s running out in the dark, at ten pm, in a black hoodie.)

Cop: “Can you show us your ID?”

Husband: “Um… No. I only ran out to get a Pokémon.”

Cop: “Do you have anything on you that can confirm your identity?”

Husband: “No… But I know my social security number; does that help?”

Cop: “You know your SSN?! That’s a first…”

(In the Netherlands, rarely anyone knows their SSN by heart. My husband does, because he’s a sucker for numbers. The cop ran the SSN through the system and confirmed my husband’s identity. Since they were clearly in a hurry, the cop wished my husband a good run. He did a good run, indeed… straight home!)

Unfiltered Story #124785

, | Unfiltered | November 5, 2018

A man goes to mine till showing a card from another store for a free apple pie. Our apple pies and storelook quite different.
Me: Sir this is for [other store]
Customer: Yes I know
Me:  This is [store]
Customer:Oh … Where is [other store]?
Me: If you look to your right you can see it.

Driving You Over The Edge

, , , , | Legal | October 29, 2018

I’m in my car heading home from work during rush hour. Things go fine, until someone cuts me off. I slam my brakes and push the horn. I see the driver giving me the finger. Angry, I flip one back. That turns out to be a mistake.

The other driver tries to stay in front of me. If I change lanes, he changes lanes. He often brakes suddenly, forcing me to brake, as well. I am upset, but try to remain calm and avoid an accident.

The other driver then tries to push me off the road! Panicking, I do everything to stay on the road. I take an exit earlier, hoping to get rid of him. The driver takes the same exit.

While we are driving, I suddenly see the driver turn around on his seat! He makes a slicing motion across his neck, and then uses both hands to make a gun shape, making a shooting motion. Because I am baffled and panicking, I don’t think about calling the police; I just want to get out of there.

I take another exit and the driver follows me. I know there’s a traffic light coming up and I know the pattern. I slow down. The driver rushes to the light, ends up in front of me, and opens the door, getting out.

Because I know the pattern, I know when it will hit green. I keep on rolling down the hill and when the light hits green, I hit the gas and take an empty lane. I pass the driver and manage to lose him in traffic.

When I get home, I call the non-emergency line for the police. They take my story. I remembered the make and license plate; it turns out the car was uninsured, but they can’t follow up on that without a reason. I am invited at the police station. There, I am told that because I didn’t call right away, there’s no proof of this road rage. I can press charges, but in the end it will be his word against mine. Instead, I let them take note of it. If someone else makes a complaint of this person, they will have two notes, and that will make it easier to press charges for that other person.

That same night, I buy a dash-cam.

Tricks Of The Tramway

, , , | Legal | October 27, 2018

(I am sitting in the tram, on my way home. A young man enters the tram.)

Young Man: “Excuse me, can I ask something? I lost my phone and I was sitting here before. Did you see something?”

Me: “No, I didn’t, but I could’ve missed it. Let me get up for you.”

Young Man: “No, no! That’s absolutely not needed!”

Me: “It’s okay; I need to get off soon, anyway.”

(The young man looks uneasy, as if he didn’t expect me to get up. I also notice he has a phone in his hand. Still, I step aside and the young man starts looking.)

Young Man: “Eh… I could’ve been sitting over there… Thanks, anyway.”

(The young man walked away and got off the next stop. At the next stop he apparently saw someone he knew, as the two nodded at each other. I decided to remain standing; I needed to get off the next stop, anyway. I then thought, “Wait, how does he even know this is the same tram? Wouldn’t you get on on the opposite direction, then?” At home I checked my things and everything was accounted for. Still, I decides to send a message to the tram company. They then informed me they would send my description through to security. It was most likely a trick to either pick my pockets or bag, or even try to scan my bank card — it has a chip so you don’t have to swipe it, but can hold it close to the machine, instead. He also could’ve asked me to use my phone to call his, to see if we could hear it, so he could snatch the phone from my hands, or follow me with his friend to ambush me and steal it. I am now very glad I stepped aside so he couldn’t reach my bag, that I always keep my bag closed, and that I have so much junk in there that scanning would be very difficult. Plus, I have a phone that doesn’t even have Internet.)


No More Narrow Escapes

, , , , , | Legal | October 26, 2018

I live on a narrow one-way street. Emphasis on “narrow” and “one-way.” One day I’m driving home. It’s been a long day; it’s summertime and hot.

I’m very tired and just want to go to bed. Coming round the corner of my street, I have to slam on my brakes because a car is coming towards me.

So, there we stand. The driver in the other car, a young girl, starts shooing and gesturing that I have to back up. We all know her; she has a habit of driving down our street the wrong way because it saves her 500 meters on her ride home. There have been several complaints filed against her, but the police say, “We have to catch her in the act if we want anything to happen.”

I’ve had it for today. I turn off the engine, pull on the handbrake, get out, and lock my car. I take pictures of my car, the other driver, and the license plate on her car with my phone.

She rolls her window down and starts shouting. I just say, “You always knowingly neglect the traffic signs. So now, you back up and get the h*** out of here because I’m calling the police.” And I walk the 50 meters home, meanwhile calling the police.

There’s a lot of yelling and honking behind me; I don’t care. A lot of my neighbours come to watch what all this honking was about.

While I’m sitting inside, I hear a car reversing through our street. At least, I hear a car driving backwards and forwards and backwards again to avoid scratching the parked cars — I did tell you this was a narrow street.

The next day a neighbour tells me it took her 30 minutes to get out of our street. I guess that all the neighbours laughing and making fun of her wasn’t helping her driving skills, either. Best thing was that the police just happened to arrive in time to witness her reversing down our street. She did get several fines.

No one has ever seen her drive through our street again.

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