I received a spam email purporting to be from UK HMRC (the UK version of the IRS). The email said that I was due a refund and all I had to do was click on the links. Well, it was obviously bogus but it was also clearly labelled as if from an address that belonged to a US university. I realise that the address was probably hijacked.

However I thought that the IT people at the university might want to know that their web address was being maligned/misused. I wrote out an email with all the details of the spam, including the addresses hiding behind the ‘refund’ links and sent it off to the university webmaster.

My email was promptly returned by their system because “it looked like spam.” Does this mean that the university in question can proudly say that they have never received any complaints about their address being used for spamming others?

(My grandmother has developed dementia. This means my dad and his siblings have to do a lot of her administration. My mother has been doing her taxes for the longest time and she has complained about the long list of donations to charities my grandmother has been doing every month, as this apparently makes her taxes very complicated to deal with. For this reason, and because we can’t know for sure if my grandmother is still supporting these charities, my dad, as her legal representative, decides to cancel almost all charity donations. However, as my grandmother didn’t keep much track of them herself, and did some as she had already started to develop dementia, some of them cause quite funny conversations.)

Dad: “I would like to cancel the monthly donation from [Grandmother’s Account] please, as [Grandmother] has developed dementia.”

Charity #1: *searching* “Ah, I see the donation; however, it is under a different name. Does [Grandfather] approve of the cancellation, too?”

Dad: *starts laughing* “Well… [Grandfather] has been dead for… how many years now?”

(At this point I enter the room.)

Me: “18 years.”

Dad: “18 years, my daughter says.”

Charity #1: “Ah, I see. I guess he does approve. We’ll cancel it for you and you’ll receive a confirmation email.”

(I work as an animal carer for our local petting zoo which also has a child day-care center for children aged 0-4. Of course the children love all the animals and are always curious what we are doing. One morning I am on my way to feed our rabbit groups near to where the children are playing. A cute little girl of about three follows me to the pens.)

Girl: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I am going to feed the rabbits and give them some water.”

Girl: “Why?”

Me: “Well, I think they would like to have something to eat and to drink just like you do.”

Girl: “Will that make them pee and poo?”

(Trying to keep a straight face.)

Me: “Yes, they will need to pee and poo.”

(The girl seemed satisfied and I allowed her to pet one of the rabbits for a moment before she went off to play again.)

(For years, I used to be single and in the end I started to get really unhappy about that. Since it really became a big issue, lots of friends and coworkers start to give me advice. In some cases I ask for this; in most cases, I don’t. In all cases, I feel uncomfortable with the advice and ignore most of it. I sign up for several dating sites, but don’t get any real life dates from it, frustrating me even more. Some people say I should go on Tinder, including one who had advised me not to go on a dating site, since it is all on looks. Other people start “advising” me I should just wait, as if I hadn’t done that and as if waiting means it will all work out in just a few weeks. I decide there’s no system and that I’m tired of all the nosy people around me, so I quit dating for a while. A few months later, I start feeling lonely again and sign up to a better recommended dating site. At first, the experiment seems to fail again, but then, a nice girl starts talking to me and we have a really nice chat. From that, the dating starts and a few months later she asks me to be her boyfriend. More than a year after that, we decide to go live together. After five months living together, I meet some old friends who used to give me lots of advice about dating.)

Friend #1: “How is everything with you and [Girlfriend]?”

Me: “Good. And how’s your love life?”

Friend #1: “Single again. Had a girlfriend. Didn’t work out.”

Friend #2: “Well, I know the feeling.”

Friend #3: “Don’t worry, lads. I’ve been dating for years. But somehow…”

Friend #1: “Wait… This is a historical moment! [My Name] is the only one here who isn’t single!”

(Which really gave me the feeling I was right to ignore them all along.)

(Five years ago, the ex-girlfriend of a former roommate married my ex-boyfriend. That was one year after I had broken up with him. I didn’t attend their wedding, but we are friends. I get invited to her birthday at their bungalow in the woods. This conversation happens while passing each other in a doorway, with no other people in earshot:)

Me: “Your house is lovely! It must be a breeze to live out here.”

Her: “It is! Oh, why don’t you come live here? We could be [Ex-boyfriend]’s wives together!’

Me: *awkward blank stare*