I’ve been having a rough day and clients are not very nice to me (impatience, system failure, normal customer service work). I get a new call.

Client: “I’ve sent in an application to create an extra room in my home, and I was wondering what the status is.”

Me: “Well, I see it has been approved, but the letter has not been mailed out yet.”

Client: “Oh, hold on, hold on. I need to put you on speaker so my daughter can hear it; it concerns her, too.”

I have no idea how old that daughter is.

Me: “Well, there’s permission to create an extra room in your house.”

Daughter: “YES!”

The daughter, who sounds very young, starts celebrating in the back.

Client: “Thank you so much.”

Me: “No problem; have a nice day!”

Client: *Thinking she has already hung up* “Wow, that lady was really nice, wasn’t she?”

I needed that, lady. I really needed that. Onward to the next call!

When we just started dating, my husband told me how he met his best friend. 

He and his best friend were in the same class, but they were far from friends. Not only that, but [Friend] was the class bully and [Husband] was the meek victim.

[Husband] does not remember everything anymore, but he said that [Friend] was once again annoying him by poking his back. He had done this for months, so something finally snapped in [Husband]. He got up, turned around, grabbed [Friend], and tossed him over two rows of tables. He then jumped after [Friend] and started punching him. According to [Husband], adrenaline and rage combined are one h*** of a drug.

The teachers were aware of the bully situation, but since [Friend] made sure no one was looking, there was no proof of it. So, to the outside, it looked as if [Husband] had gone mad for no reason!

The teacher stormed at the two, pulled them apart, and yelled:

Teacher: “Enough! And now you two are friends!”

[Husband] calmed down and [Friend] nodded. [Friend] never bullied anyone again, and they indeed became friends. [Friend] eventually became my husband’s best man at our wedding. [Friend] told me he needed someone to “punch some sense into him” and was thankful [Husband] was the one to do it.

I work in customer service where I meet clients in real life. I hardly ever have issues, and I like my job. A cheerful man comes inside.

Cheerful Man: “Hello, ladies, I’m here to deliver something! Or actually, I’m going to rob you, hahaha!”

Coworker: *Fake laughing* “I hope not. That would really dampen our day!”

Cheerful Man: “Oh, well, then I guess I have to call off my friends, haha!”

He sees that I’m not smiling.

Cheerful Man: “Don’t worry; I’m just joking!”

Me: “I hope so. I wouldn’t want to relive that moment.”

Cheerful Man: “Eh, what? You’ve been robbed?”

Me: “Yup. And I can’t recommend it. I didn’t really enjoy the experience.”

Cheerful Man: “Oh, and did they use violence?”

Me: “Yes, they did, so I’m very glad you are nothing like them. How can we help you?”

He gives me a form, which I copy for him. Everything else goes calmly and normally, but when he leaves:

Cheerful Man: *Mumbling* “It was a really good joke…”

No, dude, it was not. And yes, I was robbed for real; I didn’t lie. And I also didn’t lie that I can’t recommend the experience.

I submit an order on the webshop for an Asian supermarket. Half an hour later, my phone rings.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, am I talking with [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: *Apologetic tone* “I would like to inform you that your order will be delivered next week Thursday, not tomorrow Thursday.”

Me: “I know.”

Caller: “We apologi— Wait, what? You know?”

Me: “Yeah. It is stated very clearly on your website.”

Caller: “And you’re okay with waiting for a week?”

Me: “Yeah. If not, I would have just gone to your physical store.”

Caller: “Oh. Thank you for your understanding.”

Me: “And thank you for calling me about it.”

Caller: *Clearly happier tone* “Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping at our store!”

Me: “You, too… Have a nice day!”

I got a small extra product as a gift when my package came on Thursday the next week.

Our office has a dedicated IT department, but it is severely understaffed, so sending in a ticket usually takes days before you get an answer. I’m known as the “Wiz Kid” of my team, so the less IT-savvy team members often first consult me before making a ticket for the IT department.

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], I got a new mouse, but I have no idea how to connect it.”

Me: “I see it’s wireless. Is it Bluetooth?”

Coworker: “I have no idea. I just put the battery in it.”

I flip the mouse over and see two symbols on the battery cover. One is a battery symbol. The other looks… square? I remove the battery cover and immediately notice the square is a dongle/receiver.

Me: “Here you go.”

Coworker: “Oh, my gosh, that’s so embarrassing! Oh, my gosh, hahaha! Does it work now?”

I put the battery cover back and spot a little switch right above the cover with “on/off” written near it. I switch it to “on”.

Me: “It should.”

Lights go on, and my coworker laughs, feeling embarrassed. She thanks me and starts chatting with another coworker, repeating how stupid and silly she feels. After fifteen minutes:

Me: “Did you actually see what I did?”

Coworker: “Eh… no. I was too embarrassed to pay attention. What did you do?”