What A Peanut Butter Nutter

, , , , , | Related | May 1, 2019

(I am detailing a weird dream I had on my Facebook page.)

Aunt: “Did you eat peanut butter before bed?”

Me: “No, lol.”

Aunt: “Oh, Nana always said that peanut butter caused nightmares.”

Dad: “She also said that the shiny side of tin foil was poison.”

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Charisma Is Clearly This Troll’s Lowest Attribute

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 18, 2019

I’m an avid player of a particular MMORPG. It isn’t the most well-known one in the genre, which I’m fine with since a smaller community generally means fewer trolls and the like. They certainly still pop up every now and again, as this incident demonstrated. For context, the game has several races to choose from, only two of which are basically human in appearance, and characters can be customized a fair amount; I enjoy making characters and have quite a few, but the one I was playing on this day was a humanoid woman with very dark brown skin.

I left the character standing around in a city while I took my dog on a brief walk, and came back to a wall of private messages from someone that started off demanding to know why I’d made a [racial slur]. I’m not sure if this person either wasn’t planning to wait for a reply or simply didn’t realize I was away and got angry at apparently being ignored, but they went on and on about how I was a [slur]-lover, forcing diversity into a fantasy world, complicit in white genocide, etc., and topped it all off with calling me a [gay, transphobic slur] for playing a female character who “wasn’t even wearing anything sexy.”

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen the “logic” that the only reason a man would play a female character outside of eye candy is if he’s gay or transgender.

The player who’d sent these messages wasn’t around by the time I came back — given the volume of text, I think they’d been blocked by the in-game spam prevention — although I wasn’t planning to reply, anyway. I simply blocked and reported them and went on my way. However, I couldn’t help but laugh at a few of their incorrect assumptions. First of all, I’m not white — though I’m not black like my character appeared to be, either. Second of all, I am gay… but I’m a gay woman who just doesn’t think a lady needs to be wearing a chainmail bikini to be sexy.

For all their ranting about me “taking the fun out of the game,” I don’t think they’re enjoying themselves all that much if such a little thing sets them off like that.

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Oh, Halal No!

, , , , , , , | Legal | February 7, 2019

My friend works as a lawyer. He was invited to a restaurant to meet with a potential employer/business partner, but was not able to attend due to his religious dietary restrictions.

He received the following text message once he let them know that he was not able to attend:

“Kosher was introduced centuries ago when the food supply was unreliable, and many were getting sick.

The same is true of Halal food.

But today, with refrigeration, government inspections and so on, adherence to Kosher is no longer relevant.

I am concerned that we may have difficulty working together if you adhere to this and other non-rational practices.

Including adherence to non-rational holidays. Being a criminal and deportation practice, my phone rings 24/7/365 and I need to be available to work.

I will have lunch and a beer with [Big Lawyer] at an Italian bistro next Thursday.”

My friend was surprised that someone would say something like this on record, being that this is a blatant Human Rights violation in Ontario.

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Tracking To Become A Bad Joke

, , , | Working | February 6, 2019

(I order some clothes online from a very well-known brand, and since it took very long for my order to arrive the last time, I decide I can spare the five euros for next-day delivery. I order on Wednesday and hope my parcel will arrive just in time for me to wash the jeans before I go on a weekend trip the following week on Friday. Wednesday evening, I receive an email from the delivery service, saying my parcel will arrive on Friday. Thursday, another email comes in saying it will come earlier, on Thursday. But nothing arrives. Neither does it on Friday, so I decide to look at the tracking log. It says the parcel arrived at the distribution centre. I think maybe there was a problem and it will come on Saturday for sure. It doesn’t. Since then, the tracking log has sounded like a huge joke:)

Tracking Log: “Saturday: delivery address was not found.”

Tracking Log: “Sunday.” *they don’t deliver on Sundays* “Recipient was not encountered.”

Tracking Log: “Monday: 06:45 recipient was not encountered.”

Tracking Log: “10:45 parcel is being delivered.”

Tracking Log: “Tuesday: 07:23 recipient was not encountered.”

Tracking Log: “10:50 parcel is being delivered.”

Tracking Log: “Wednesday: 06:58 recipient was not encountered.”

Tracking Log: “11:03 parcel is being delivered.”

(It sounds very strange to me that they don’t meet me while the parcel is not even being delivered, despite me being a stay-at-home mom and being there ALL THE TIME. There is no way they’ve missed me. I call the service hotline of the clothing retailer and they assure me that the parcel is on the way and they will waive my delivery fee, since it’s clearly not the next day. On Thursday, still, nothing has arrived. The tracking log goes on the same way. I am very frustrated and call the delivery service. The service rep states that there must have been some kind of problem and he will have my parcel delivered to a station where I can pick it up on Friday after 16:00. I am at the station at 17:00, but the parcel is not. As soon as I get home, I call the retailer again because I am beyond frustrated. Now I think that they may have lost my delivery, but the rep tells me she spoke to them and guarantees me it will be at the station on Monday. Lo behold, it’s not. I call again:)

Me: “…and it was not there on Monday, either.”

Service Rep: “Oh, that’s too bad. I’m sorry. Let me have a look.”

Me: “I was thinking they lost it somehow.”

Service Rep: “Um, that’s very unlikely… Oh, it says it’s being delivered to you! Everything is fine.”

Me: “Yeah, it was being delivered yesterday too, and the day before and the whole last week! Just look into the tracking log. It’s a joke. A very bad one.”

Service Rep: “Uh… That’s weird.”

Me: “Yes.”

Service Rep: “Let me just look into that real quick.”

(After that, he was way more helpful, and cancelled the delivery order so the parcel would return to them… if it was still with the delivery company, which I highly doubt. He also gave me a coupon code for my next order, but I don’t think I will be ordering there anytime soon. I bought my jeans from another online store that uses another delivery company, and it arrived two days later.)

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Hate Mail

, , , , , , | Working | January 28, 2019

(One of our admins sent the following email:)

Email: “A black t-shirt has been found outside our building. If it is yours, I hate it.”

(She meant to type, “I have it.”)

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