Office-Based Frustration On The Rise, As Coworkers’ Attachment To Incompetence Leads To Inability To Open Attachments

, , , , | Working | November 12, 2018

Me: “I completed the first draft of the user manual. Please find it attached to this email for review. It can also be accessed on the local company server at the following link: [link].”

Coworker: *reply all, CCing all sixteen people on the thread* “I am out of the country and I cannot access the local server; please send it as an attachment.”

Me: *directly to coworker with no one else CCd* “Hi. It’s possible you missed it, but I attached the draft to the previous email because I knew you were out of the country. In any case, I’ve attached it to this email, as well.”

(Several days later:)

Me: “Hi, all. Thank you for your feedback! Please find attached the second draft of the manual, incorporating your comments. It can also be accessed on the local company server at the following link: [link]. If everyone approves this draft I will release the finalized document.”

Coworker: *reply ALL again* “I’m still out of the country; attach the draft to the email! I can’t download from the local server!”

Me: *directly to coworker* “Here you go.”

(Ever since then, I always bold the phrase, “Please find attached…” If he replies to another huge thread asking for an attachment that I already sent, I’m going to start writing it in ALL CAPS, maybe in red. I don’t want to embarrass the dude, but he’s doing a pretty good job of it without my help.)

The Family Blood Is Black

, , , , , , , | Related | November 4, 2018

(When I was in high school, I was pretty goth. Growing up I haven’t changed much, other than altering it to what I jokingly call “Casual Vampire Goth Mom,” now that I have a daughter who is currently six and a half. I just have a darker wardrobe with bold lipsticks. One day on Facebook I see one of those text pictures saying, “My daughter is the sweetest, most beautiful, evil, psychotic creature you will ever know,” and I share it with a story from this week.)

Daughter: “Remember when you used to take me to play funerals?”

Me: “Play funerals?”

Daughter: “Yeah, play funerals!”

Me: “Um… What did we do there?”

Daughter: “Ugh, play funerals! I was like three, there were moms, and lots of kids, and toys, and we would play while you talked to each other.”

Me: “You mean play group?!

Daughter: *starts laughing* “Oh, yeah. Play group.”

(My mother comments on the post.)

Mother: “Where have you been taking my granddaughter and telling her it’s fun?!”

Me: “You mean you never took me to play funerals when I was little? What kind of childhood did I have?”

Mother: “You used to have play funerals with your cousins; I wanted nothing to do with that.”

Me: “Oh, my God! I forgot about that! I’ve been goth since I was a wee baby, and now my own wee baby has it in her blood!”

Will Not Be Party To This Chat

, , , , , | Friendly | October 27, 2018

I made a friend on an MMORPG who has become one of my best friends, despite us never meeting in person. We talk about everything imaginable and are very close, even knowing a lot about each other’s families.

One time we were waiting for a party to come together for a boss fight online and were chatting about random stuff. I was talking about my mom, who has had terrible teeth all her life and has terrible self-esteem from it — other reasons, too, but that’s a big one.

In the middle of our conversation, a person joined the party just as I submitted a message. I believe what I typed was, “I’ve begged her to get implants for a long time now, but she would never spend that kind of money on herself.”

Mere seconds after I sent that message, I went to greet the person who joined us, but they immediately disconnected. A second later, my friend and I realized the person probably thought I meant breast implants instead of dental implants, and fled from our weird conversation and our party. Guess we should have been using our private chat instead of the party chat. Oops.

Hard To Love A Morning Person

, , , | Romantic | October 25, 2018

(I am chatting with my girlfriend while she’s in her psychology class.)

Girlfriend: “According to Freud, being in love is loving yourself, projected onto an object.”

Me: “Well, in that case, I love myself a lot.”

(I expect her to reply the same, but instead:)

Girlfriend: “In my case, it depends of the mood I get up with. I don’t love myself very much.”

Me: “…”

“Reply All” Is Not Understood By All

, , , , , | Working | October 16, 2018

(Today, some people in a province-wide organization received an email labeled, “test,” with no other information included. The distribution list appeared to be random, given some of the responses, which were, of course, reply all.)

Coworker #1: “How did this get to me? Not even close.”

Coworker #2: “Why am I getting these messages?”

Coworker #3: “Not sure what this is all about, but doesn’t make any sense to me.”

Coworker #4-#8: “Ditto.”

Coworker #9: “I assume you two are talking to each other, and not aiming to reach me?!”

Coworker #10: “Can you please remove me from this thread? Thanks.”

Coworker #11: “???”

Coworker #12: “Okay, everyone, stop replying all. You are disturbing my work. I have forwarded this to [IT]. Leave it alone!”

Coworker #13: “Okay, guys, every reply all goes to all of us, which means more spam.”

Coworker #14: “Why am I included? I am doing a workshop; please take me out of whatever this is.”

Coworker #15-#20: “DO NOT DO A REPLY ALL; otherwise, everybody will get this email response.”

Coworker #21: “You are all emailing many people with your questions about these emails. You are flooding my email. PLEASE STOP REPLYING.”

Coworker #22: “I conclude with the rest of these individuals! Unsure why my name is attached to these ‘tests.’”

Coworker #12: “Okay, everyone, stop replying all. You are disturbing my work. I have forwarded this to the service desk. Leave it alone!”

Coworker #23: “I don’t know why I’m getting these emails.”

Coworker #24: “MY EMAIL IS FILLED WITH ALL THIS!”

Coworker #25: “Not sure why I am included in this list, but I am sure it has nothing to do with me.”

(Until finally:)

Coworker #85: “STOP.
DO NOT REPLY ALL.
DO NOT ASK TO BE REMOVED.
PLEASE DELETE THESE MESSAGES AND IGNORE ALL REPLIES.
THE BUSINESS WILL REMOVE THOSE NOT INVOLVED IN THIS TEST.
Thanks.”

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