They’ll Find Something To Complain About Soon Enough

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2017

I am working as a server at a fast casual pizza restaurant. You order at the register and go sit anywhere in the restaurant with the number block you are given and food and drinks are brought to you. Two ladies come who are around their 50s-60s.

I bring them their drinks and do my spiel as being their server and whatnot. They keep talking over me so I just think, ‘F*** me, then.’

I come back later with their salads they each ordered which is about 5-8 minutes later.

It’s sorta busy that night so their pizza comes out about ten minutes later. I take it to their table and they have NOT touched their salad due to talking to each other. I name the pizza and leave it at their table and they just keep talking.

I don’t remember the amount of time they kept talking but by the time they finished talking, they realized the pizza was cold.

Another server helps them since I’m doing something else and apparently, they told the manager they wanted another pizza because their pizza came out TOO SOON and that it was cold.

I honestly never thought anyone would complain their food came out TOO SOON. They ended up getting a free pizza and their cold pizza boxed up.

But how entitled do you have to be to complain your food got cold because you were too busy talking?

Unfiltered Story #88986

, , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

I am in the home improvement store wearing t-shirt, shorts, and sandals, obviously I don’t work there. I am looking in the lumber section when a large man approaches me.

customer: hey man, me and the missus were getting busy last night and got too excited, if y’all know what i mean.

me: uhh…

customer: yea man we got carried away and broke the bed slats. what would y’all replace it with?

me: uhh probably a 1×4, (looks him over) maybe a 1×6 would be better, by the way you know i dont work here right?

customer: yea but your mexican right, so I figured y’all know what your doing

me: okay…

customer (in cool-aid man voice): ohh yeah! daddy is getting some tonight!

customer leaves and an employee who watched the whole exchange doubles over laughing

Taking Meetings Like A Boss

, , , , | Working | May 28, 2017

(It’s 7:55 am on a Friday morning.)

Boss: “I have to go to a meeting.”

Coworker: “What kind of crazy person schedules an 8:00 am Friday meeting?”

Boss: “I did.”

Coworker: “Oh…”

Not Uniform Behavior

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 16, 2014

(We’ve just come home from a nearly year-long deployment and we’re at our homecoming, where I’m looking for my wife in the crowd. She spots me, comes running up, and jumps… on my buddy, who is next to me. In her defense, we all look the same in our uniforms.)

Wife: “Ahhhh! I can’t believe you’re home! I’ve missed you so much!”

Buddy: “Oh… I missed you, too!”

(My wife leans in to kiss my buddy.)

Me: “Whoooooa there, [Buddy]! You wanna put my wife down?”

Wife: *realizing what’s she’s done and jumps down* “OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!”

Me: “When were you gonna tell her, man?”

Buddy: “I was going to… eventually!”

The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2011

(A man calls to check on a cake he’d ordered, but things just go downhill from there.)

Customer: “I’d like to check on the cake I ordered for graduation.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is [Donut Shop]. We don’t make cakes; we only make donuts.”

Customer: “I ordered the cake two weeks ago and I want to know if it will be ready.”

Me: “I can’t help you with that because we don’t make cakes here. We only make donuts.”

Customer: “Is this [Donut Shop]?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

Customer: “Well, I know that’s where I ordered my cake, and I want to know if it will be ready.”

Me: “I can’t help you with that because you didn’t order a cake here. We don’t make cakes. We only make donuts.”

Customer: “Are you near [Chain Grocery Store]?”

Me: “Yes, there’s one near us.”

Customer: “Then that proves I ordered the cake there because it was right near [Chain Grocery Store].”

Me: “You may have been somewhere near [Chain Grocery Store], but you couldn’t have been here, because we don’t make cakes. We only make donuts. We don’t even have an oven except for a small microwave oven. Everything here is deep-fried, so we have no way to make cakes even if we want to.”

Customer: “Well, where did I order my cake then, if I didn’t order it from you?!”

Me: “I don’t know where you ordered your cake, but I do know that you didn’t order it here, because we don’t make cakes. We only make donuts.”

Customer: “Whatever! You are incompetent! I’m never ordering cakes from you guys ever again!” *click*


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