(I work as a cashier at a popular retail chain and our system goes down due to a storm that has reached its climax. A woman in my line tries to swipe her credit card right as my register freezes. I call a manager over and the customer begins to yell at her.)

Customer #1: “This is just great. Every time I come in here this happens to me.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I am so sorry. I understand your frustrat—”

Customer #1: “Yeah! You’re always sorry, but you never seem to do anything about it. This is terrible customer service.”

(My manager continues to fiddle with the computer and tells me to move to another register to rescan all of her groceries. As I rescan, my manager rings up a $20 gift card for the woman. When I try to cash out the groceries, the system freezes again. The woman then begins to yell about her back.)

Customer #1: “I AM UNDER DOCTOR’S CARE! MY BACK IS KILLING ME AND I JUST WANT TO F****** GO HOME! EVERYONE IN HERE IS LOOKING AT ME!”

(By this time, the manager has notified me that all of the registers are down and that she has to call to get them to reboot it.)

Me: “All of the registers are down, so I’m pretty sure nobody is looking at you.”

Customer #1: “MY BACK IS HURTING ME SO BAD! I WANT SOME D*** COMPENSATION!”

(My manager then tells me to go get her a chair. I walk all the way to the other end of the store to get it. As I walk up, another customer approaches me angrily to tell me his card has been charged three times.)

Customer #1: “IT CHARGED YOUR ACCOUNT THREE TIMES? THAT’S IT! I’M CALLING MY BANK!”

(The customer calls her bank and then announces that her card has been charged twice. She then starts to fake cry. When she notices that nobody is looking at her tantrum, she starts to threaten to call the police.)

Customer #1: “I’m calling the police so I can leave here without getting arrested. I can prove to them that I paid for them since they wanna call me a liar!”

Me: “Ma’am, nobody called you a liar.”

(She then proceeded to call the police and cuss at my managers as everyone stared at her. When the police arrived, she gave them her whole spiel and they told her to leave the store. I don’t know what your name is, ma’am, but I would like to thank you on behalf of the employees and customers that were there at the time, because you were amusement for that whole thirty minutes that you were in there barking at everyone. You are an embarrassment to yourself and your family and I hope you read this!)

(I go to an interview with a very well-known delivery company. I’m female; I have sent my resume with my female name on it. A guy greets me and leads me to an office. I tell him that I worked for a rival delivery company before and we’re chatting until he drops this bomb.)

Interviewer: “So, I’m not a sexist, but I haven’t hired females here before.”

Me: “Oh, really? Well, I’ve seen females working here before!”

Interviewer: “Yes… Well… I don’t hire them. But lately, I decided to. And they were better than our males!”

Me: “Is that so?”

Interviewer: “Yes, so, I figured that females can deliver packages, too!”

(I wanted to leave, but I stayed because I needed the money. But really, how sexist! And creepy — he kept winking unnecessarily at me. I told my family about it and the males didn’t believe me, and the females said I should’ve recorded it and sued. Alas, I didn’t, or else I’d be a millionaire! Only the Internet knows the truth.)

(A girl has ordered a shake which costs $3.13. She gives me a five-dollar bill.)

Me: *to myself* “Okay, that’s $1.87.”

(I smile and hand the girl her change. She takes the money and counts it, and then she looks at me and says, rudely, I might add:)

Customer: “You need to give me another dollar.”

Me: “Umm… No, I gave you the correct amount.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. I gave you a $5 bill. So you need to give me another dollar.” 

(One of my coworkers comes by and asks what’s happening.)

Me: “She paid with a—”

Customer: “I gave her a $5 bill. And she forgot to give me another dollar.”

(My coworker looks on our screen to see how much she paid.)

Coworker: “That looks right… but just in case.”

(He then pulls out his phone and calculates it. It is correct. He flashes his phone to her.)

Customer: “Oh.”

(Then, she walked away. No apology. No thank-you. Nothing. I don’t know if she was trying to short me or was stupid, but either way, wow.)

A customer comes to my line with a buggy full of groceries. Before starting the transaction, she asks me to check the price of one of our seasonal toys.

Customer:
“Can you check the price on this for me?”

Me:
“Sure.” *Scans item* “Looks like it’s two for $10. So… $5.”

Customer:
“Okay. That’s fine.”

As I continue her transaction, her husband walks up to her holding the same toy. 

Husband:
“It said it was two for $10 over there, so that makes it what?”

The husband pauses to do the math in his head for a surprisingly long time.

Husband:
“$7.50 apiece.”

I have to turn away because I can’t help but laugh and I don’t want the customer to think I am being rude.

Customer:
“Uh, no, honey. They’re $5.”

We happen to have bats hanging out in the attics of many of our older campus buildings. Many students aren’t aware of this, but if a person is quiet and patient, they can watch bats fly from behind some of the older buildings. Our library, in particular, has a problem and there are signs on doors, in the elevator, stairwell, etc., to not touch bats and inform staff if one is spotted flying around. Only the third floor is a quiet space; all other floors have community areas for groups to collaborate in and talk. 

One night, I’m up on the second floor with a bud when we notice squeaking after a while. It’s not bothersome and we figure it’s either bats or the A/C is janky. Whatever, the building is old. A group of athletic underclassmen, however, decide they want to know for sure. At first, it’s just one or two coming over and looking at a window. Even I get up and briefly look closer. I recognize the sound, figure it’s not worth my time or health to bother with, and walk away. 

My bud and I are tolerably amused as the investigations are becoming more common and with bigger numbers. They’re impressively quiet.

Eventually, some of them even begin trying to jump to reach the ceiling and dislodge a panel. They can touch it but not dislodge it. I figure that’s enough.

Me:
“Hey, man, you know those are probably bats.”

This, of course, just wins some “Oh, cool, I’ve never seen a bat before” looks and their efforts increase for a moment. 

Me:
“Do you also know bats are known for carrying rabies?”

Student:
“Oh, s***, man. Really?”

Me:
“Really.”

I know that bats are not significantly more likely to carry rabies than other mammals, but this stopped the investigations for the night. We did tell the staff.