This Customer Did A Number On You

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business].”

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Good morning. You’re through to [Business].”

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Person’s Name]?”

Me: “No. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “I don’t have the wrong number!”

Me: “Are you looking to buy a computer?”

Caller: “A computer?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. A computer.”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Then you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “I think I have the wrong number.”

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The Customer Is Not Always Copyright

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2011

Customer: “Can you make me a copy of this picture?”

Me: “We can not copy this picture without a copyright release. It was professionally taken.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I took this picture.”

Me: “Sir, you’re in the picture.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Then, who was behind the camera?”

Customer: “Some other guy…”

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Their Question Speaks Volumes

, , , , | Right | March 21, 2011

Me: “Welcome! How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much will I save if I ask really loudly to have this laminated?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The sign in the window says you give ‘large volume discounts’.”

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Raisin Wine Awareness

, , | Right | March 21, 2011

(A customer comes up to the counter, and looks at a bottle of wine we’re sampling.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a tempranillo.”

Customer: “What is a ‘temper-nillo’?”

Me: “It’s a red grape from Spain.”

(The customer picks up the sample cup, and looks at it in confusion.)

Customer: “This is a grape? I could’ve sworn this was wine.” *knocks sample back* “How about that!”


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Use Of Technology Is Undeveloped

, , , , | Right | March 15, 2011

(A customer brings in an SD card. He wants to transfer the files onto a CD.)

Customer: “Miss, how many photos can I put on a CD?”

Me: “It depends on the size of the files.”

Customer: “4×6 inches. They’re all the same. I just want to know how many will go on one CD.”

Me: “That’s a print size, not a file size. We can usually fit between 200 and 400 photos onto a single CD.”

Customer: “No. It should always be the same. There’s only one size of picture!”

Me: “No, sir. It can change depending on the camera settings. A high-resolution picture will take up more information space, even if it’s physically the same size.”

Customer: “Don’t you go throwing all that fancy computer talk around. I just want to put these on a CD, as plain old 4×6 pictures. I don’t want any computers involved!”

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