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Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2

, , | Right | June 7, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to get full coverage insurance on this vehicle.”

Me: “Well, your car is over 15 years old, so I don’t think that will be possible. We simply don’t have a company willing to write it.”

Customer: “But, what am I supposed to do if I want full coverage?”

Me: “I guess get a newer car?”

Customer: “If I wreck that car I’m screwed! I’m not that good of a driver to start with!”


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Beverly Spills Chihuahua

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2010

Customer: “My wife and I were wondering if it would be okay to bring our chihuahua in while we eat?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but health department rules say we can’t allow any animals other than service animals in the restaurant.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. That’s no problem.”

(He leaves, then comes back in with his wife and a dog-shaped bulge underneath his shirt. My manager, who had overheard the conversation, comes to the register.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s a violation of health code to have the dog in the restaurant.”

Customer: “What dog?”

(The dog then pokes his head out of the customer’s shirt.)

Customer: *stammering* “Well, uh, he’ll stay right here. He won’t get out. He’s very clean and has good manners!”

(A wet spot begins to appear on the man’s shirt.)

Customer: “Maybe I’ll just go through the the drive-thru…”


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America, Land Of The Not-So-Free

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2010

Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”

Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”

Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”

Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”

Me: “I can charge you $16 US dollars for the anti-virus.”

Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”

Something To Be Emo About

, , , | Right | May 10, 2010

(A skinny teenager, dressed all in black, approaches us.)

Customer: “Have you heard anything about last night’s Marilyn Manson concert?”

Me: “Not really my thing, sorry.”

Customer: “Oh, so I take it you don’t like Manson?”

Me: “It’s just been done.”

Customer: “I don’t get what you mean.”

Me: “I mean the whole ‘evil’ shtick’s been done before. Alien Sex Fiend did it back in the ’70s; Ozzie Osbourne did it; Alice Cooper did it. It’s been done.”

Customer: *mulls on this for a moment* “Oh… oh, my God. You’re right!”

Trouble Brewing, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | May 5, 2010

(An obviously underage girl sets a 12-pack of beer on the counter.)

Me: “Hi, how’s it going? Can I see your ID?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: *checks date of birth on the ID.* “Uhh, ma’am? This says you’re only 17. I can’t sell you the beer.”

Customer: “What! Let me see that!” *checks ID* “D*** it! I gave you the wrong one. Well, can I buy a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”


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