(We are saving for a trip to Savannah, so our Girl Scouts are having booth sales everywhere. A car dealership invited us to have a sale at their lot, and it is slow. Not many people come to a dealership to buy cookies. My girls are Juniors, aged 9-11, and are bored. My daughter is standing at the table asking everyone who walks by to buy cookies, and finally a man comes up, with the owner of the dealership.)

Man: *asking my daughter* “How much for a box of cookies?”

Daughter: “$15,000, and I’ll throw in that truck.”

(The owner burst out laughing, and told her that she had a job anytime she wanted it, once she was an adult! The man bought two cases before we went home.)

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(My sister-in-law speaks English as a second language; communication is a challenge in most situations for her, and today is no different. My sister-in-law, my grandmother, and I go out for coffee before dropping her off at work.)

Cashier: “What would you like?”

Sister-In-Law: “Iced mocha.” *points to the both of us* “Them with me.”

Me: “Grande peppermint mocha.”

Grandmother: “Apple fritter, please. Where is the restroom?”

Cashier: “Around the corner.”

(When we get our orders, mine is fine, but not only have they misspell my sister-in-law’s name, but they have given her a hot mocha, and they have completely missed my grandmother’s order. I go up with my sister-in-law to help her talk to the cashier.)

Me: “She asked for an iced mocha and she got a hot one, and my grandmother’s apple fritter is missing.”

Cashier: “Oh, I heard her ask where the bathroom was and I forgot about it.”

Me: “Can we get the iced mocha and the apple fritter?”

Cashier: “Oh, I won’t do anything, since you got what you paid for.”

Me: “But you put it in wrong! Can you at least get a manager to void the transaction and re-take the order?”

Cashier: “Nope.”

(We were shocked that she wouldn’t do anything and neither would the manager. We had to get my sister-in-law to work, so she drank the coffee as it was, and my grandmother ate when we got back home. We are still waiting to hear back from corporate.)

I took a zoology course in college and ended up with a very unique and laid-back professor.

He started the laboratory portion of our class with a story told to him by his own college professor about why we should follow lab protocols (closed-toed shoes, no food in the lab, tying back long hair, etc).

In the story, there was a young female student taking biology, and the lab section involved dissection of bullfrogs. These were semi-fresh dissection subjects and had minimal preservation (blood was still present and tissue was still… squishy). She had long, blonde hair, worn loose, and she was wearing a cream cashmere sweater. In the midst of the dissection with her lab partner, she leaned over the tray with the partially dissected frog on it, and her hair trailed through the blood. Her lab partner pointed it out to her and the student started screaming.

She stood up quickly and her hair slapped onto her face, which made her scream more, as she started shaking her head in a panicked attempt to get the blood off. The shaking spread blood-spatter down her cashmere sweater, and the situation continued to get worse.

Before the professor could intervene, she ran out of the lab and down the hall shrieking, and the other professors started poking their heads out. From their perspective, there was a highly distressed young lady covered in blood running down the hallway, so the police were called and it was a gigantic mess…

Amidst snickers, my class agreed that we would follow the lab protocols (and if we didn’t, we wouldn’t run out of the lab screaming bloody murder.)

(I work the seafood counter, but it is joined with the meat market. Sometimes the seafood staff have to watch to meat counter for a while. For a few weeks, we have this elderly man come in and try to play pranks on the employees.)

Coworker #1: *in meat department* “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Elderly Man: “Yes, I would like your best pork belly buttons.”

Coworker #1: “Umm… I will have to ask my boss. One moment.”

Coworker #2: “Sir, pork belly buttons don’t exist.”

Elderly Man: “Well, of course they do!”

Wife: “Leave them alone! I am sorry.”

(A few days later, I am working both counters.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Elderly Man: “I would like some pork belly buttons, young lady.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but your reputation precedes you. Pork belly buttons do not exist. Is there anything that I can actually get you?”

(He laughed at this.)

Wife: “Leave the girl alone!”

Me: “Oh, no worries, ma’am; I already know who he is. Is there anything I can get for you guys today?”

Elderly Man: “I like you!”

(After that he stopped asking, but if I was working, he would smile at me when they passed by.)

(It is the end of a very long day; I’m already running on fumes, as I have just come back from volunteering. My best friend and I are walking around the mall, trying to kill some time, when a kiosk attendant for hair care products tries to stop me. Note: I’m wearing scrubs, due to where I have been volunteering.)

Attendant: “Hi!” *sees my scrubs* “Oh, are you a nurse?”

Me: *panicking, since I have to give an answer that isn’t just “no, thanks”* “No, I, uh, I embalm dead people.”

(I quickly walked away. And yes, I do!)