Wouldn’t Name My Kid After This Teacher

, , , , , , , | Learning | February 9, 2018

(My son shares a name with a character in a series of children’s books. I understand the series is popular and often read to children of his age, but I have never been a fan of the character. The books themselves are fine, but that character, I just can’t stand. If it weren’t for a promise I made my great-grandfather, he would have a very different name. He comes home from school and tells me that they read a book in class today and the teacher told the whole class that my son was named for the character. I tell him to tell the teacher, “Mommy says I’m not named after the book character.” He says he did, and then a few days later, he says the teacher read another book in the series, and again claimed that he was named for the character. He also says that some of the kids are making jokes about him being like the character. I arrange a meeting with the teacher to discuss this.)

Me: “If [Son] told you that he wasn’t named for the book character, why did you say he was?”

Teacher: “Oh, I just figured he didn’t know what he was talking about. I mean, with a name like [Son], who else could he be named for?”

Me: “There are plenty of possible namesakes besides the stupid [species of character]. He could be named for, oh, [Famous Historical Figure], [Famous Author], [Secret Identity of a Superhero], or any of the many politicians, actors, artists, or other authors who share his name. Or, maybe, just maybe, he is named after the man who saved my great-grandfather’s life in WWII.”

Teacher: “Well, I already told the class he was, so I’m not going to tell them otherwise.”

Me: “Fine. Whatever. Just stop pointing it out every time you read a book to the class. They are starting to tease him.”

Teacher: “Oh, no. I always point out when kids are named after book characters; it helps the class relate better to the books.”

Me: “BUT HE ISN’T NAMED AFTER THE CHARACTER AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE COMPARED TO HIM!”

Teacher: “But the class thinks he is; that is all that matters.”

(After much more yelling, and a talk with the principal, I finally had to have my son transferred to a new class.)

It Was Worth The Trip

, , , , , | Hopeless | February 8, 2018

(I have been working at the same bookstore for three years, but I have a terrible memory for faces and names. Customers remember me much more frequently than I remember them. One day, I am very busy and overtaxed when a lady walks up to me.)

Customer: “I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I was in here last year.”

(I don’t remember her at all and cringe inwardly, waiting to hear what her complaint is.)

Customer: “You recommended this travel guide to me, and I had the most lovely vacation! I just wanted to let you know.”

Me: “Oh. Uh, thank you! People never come back and tell me when something was good.”

(She left with another travel book.)

Has Some Ill Willing

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(I am ringing up a man and his family. He is probably in his 50s and his wife is a little younger, and they have a quiet teen daughter.)

Me: “Do you have any coupons?”

(He hands me one for 20% off of juniors’, which would apply to the $150 of the daughter’s clothes. I scan the coupon and the computer kicks it back.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.” *now reading the coupon* “This one starts next week; it won’t take it now.”

Male Customer: “What? Well, I need this stuff now; we don’t want to come back next week. Why would I have the coupon now if I can’t use it?”

Me: “We send the coupons out a couple days early so that you can have them ready, and they have the dates printed right on the front” *I show him*

Female Customer: *very nicely* “Oh, okay. Sorry, we didn’t read that part.”

Male Customer: “WELL, I DON’T CARE! It creates ill will with the customer when you send us coupons we can’t use and don’t honor them! I’m spending $150 dollars here, and I want to use it!”

Me: “I’m sorry I can’t apply it right now. We have other—”

Male Customer: *repeating* “No! It creates ill will with the customer and makes me not want to shop here. I want to see the manager; he just DOESN’T understand!”

(I called for the manager, who came and manually gave the customer the discount, to my disapproval.)

Not Quite The Formula For Success

, , , , , , , | Learning | February 4, 2018

(For the final exam, the teacher allows the math class to bring two specific notes pages, as well as one index card with any additional formulas they want to have available on the test. During the test, a couple of students ask questions:)

Student #1: “I don’t see #1 on my notes pages.”

Teacher: “It’s not there, but there was a formula.”

Student #1: “Where would it be?”

Teacher: “I don’t know where you wrote it.”

Student #1: “Do you know the formula?”

Teacher: *pause* “Yes.”

Student #1: *tries to hand notes to teacher* “Will you write it for me?”

Teacher: “No.”

Student #2: “I’m confused on how to do these two problems.”

Teacher: “Those require you to use either the Law of Sines or the Law of Cosines.”

Student #2: *blank look*

Teacher: “…or use ‘eeny, meeny, miny, moe,’ since it’s multiple choice.”

Student #2: “Works for me.” *circles answer*

Unfiltered Story #104911

, | Unfiltered | February 3, 2018

I’m working the cash register, and a man passes by my register. He’s not coming from the direction of the front doors, but he is staring at me, and so I assume that perhaps he needs something.

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

The man says nothing, continuing to walk slowly and stare at me.

Me: “…is there something I can help you with?”

At this point, he says something that I didn’t hear thanks to the busy restaurant.

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?”

The man then proceeds to come closer, stare me right in the eye, and say “I was going to go pee” so vehemently that some spittle comes out of his mouth.

I ignore the spittle and start giving him directions to the restroom, when he interrupts with this gem:

“I thought I knew the way, but apparently you have to give me directions. But go on, keep giving people directions that they don’t need, that’s fine!”

What I wanted to say, but didn’t, is “If you didn’t need any help finding the restroom, why were you staring at me in the first place???”

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