The Dermatologist Will Determine That You Need Thicker Skin

, , , , | Healthy | January 12, 2020

(My doctor’s office is small, with only one dermatologist, a physician assistant, and a nurse practitioner. The doctor and nurse practitioner see daily, while the PA is only here Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even so, our schedule stays booked, and new patients have been calling all through the month to get on the schedule.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “If I walk in there today, can I be seen by the doctor?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The doctor is out on vacation until the week after next, and our nurse practitioner has no openings currently.”

Patient: “Well, can I get on the schedule for this week?”

Me: “Sir, it’s Friday. We don’t have any openings today.”

Patient: “What about next week?”

Me: “We don’t have any then, either, because we’re only open Monday, Thursday, and Friday next week, due to New Year’s Eve and Day.”

Patient: “Really? You can’t just nudge someone for me?”

Me: “We don’t do that, sir. You can call each day to see if an appointment is available if you like, but I can’t promise we’ll have an opening for you.”

Patient: “Well, what’s your next available appointment?”

Me: “For the doctor, mid-February. To see the PA or nurse practitioner, it’ll be mid-January.”

Patient: “That’s too long! I have really good insurance! You’re sure there’s nothing at all?”

Me: *checks schedule, just in case, though I have looked at it extensively by this point* “No, sir, nothing has opened up. I can set you for January 14th with our PA, if you’d like.”

Patient: “I can’t believe this! What’s the point of having good insurance if you’re not going to fit me in?”

Me: “We only have one provider here today, and there’s only so many people she can see. The same goes for next week, as well.”

Patient: “So knock someone!”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sir.”

Patient: “UGH! Forget this!”

(He called back forty minutes later to have a similar conversation with my coworker and then threw a large fit that she didn’t have anything until the end of January due to the influx of calls. The weird part is that there’s another dermatology office in the same city, and another in the next city 20 minutes away, so he had options.)

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Router Problems? Nailed It!

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(My dad has worked for about ten years in tech support for several companies. He is currently working at a company that sets up Internet routers. He’s taking customer calls.) 

Dad: “[Company], this is [Dad]; what can I do for you?”

Secretary: “Our Internet isn’t working.”

Dad: *gets router number and begins asking questions* “All right, are all of the lights on the box on? Are any blinking?”

Secretary: “There aren’t any lights on.” 

Dad: “Have you made sure that the box is plugged in?” 

Secretary: “Yes, it’s plugged in.” 

Dad: “Okay, let’s try resetting it. Go ahead and hold the power button down.”

Secretary: “There isn’t a power button on this box.”

Dad: “There should be a large blue button under the lid.” 

Secretary: “I can’t open the lid; it’s nailed closed.”

Dad: “It’s nailed closed?”

Secretary: “Yeah, the nail is holding it closed. I can’t open it. Can you just send someone to fix it?”

(My dad didn’t know what more to do, so he sent someone to look at the box. When they got to the office, they found that the box was not plugged in, but that wasn’t the biggest problem. It wasn’t plugged in because they had placed it too high on the wall to reach the outlet. It was nailed onto the wall; that is, there was a giant building nail going straight through the center of the router. Whoever managed this office decided the router was getting in the way so they nailed it to the wall. My dad is very happy not to work in tech support any longer.)

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, , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(My manager answers the headset in the drive-thru and the customer requests:)

Customer: “Two apple pies.”

Manager: “It will be about seven minutes to make the pie since we have none up; is that all right?”

(Instead of answering her, he drives on ahead. We think he’s just going to leave and don’t drop any pies. As soon as I hand out my order, though, he pulls up to the window and acts as if nothing happened.)

Me: “You didn’t say anything, so we assumed you left and didn’t want to wait. Would you like to wait seven minutes?”

(He mumbled something and drove off without paying. I helped the next few people and we started taking care of our chores. Then, I noticed that the man’s car was out in the spot where we have people park when they’re waiting on their food. He stayed there for a good ten minutes before BACKING UP INTO THE DRIVE-THRU. Thankfully, before he went too far, my manager went out and asked him what he wanted. Apparently, the day before he had to wait a little while on pies and the general manager had told him that he could get them for free next time. Nowhere in the conversation did he mention that fact, or much of anything else. Fast food workers. Can’t. Read. Minds.)

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Rename In Your Membrane

, , , , , | Working | January 8, 2020

(I am new to the office that I am working in, but I have quickly gained a reputation as the go-to guy for helping out with technical issues. This means that I’ll often get coworkers calling me over to help when the programs they are working in have bugs or unexpected errors. One particular coworker has an annoying tendency to try and “predict” my advice while I’m trying to help her, which means she’ll end up charging ahead, pressing buttons, and making selections, without actually paying attention to what I am saying that she should be doing. The following is an example of a fairly typical interaction.)

Me: “Your old lock is still active, which is preventing you from getting into the program. However, we can bypass that by renaming this file, refreshing the folder, and then changing the name back, so go ahead and change the name.”

Coworker: *make a copy of the file instead*

Me: “No, you don’t need to copy the file; you just need to rename the original.”

Coworker: *tries to rename the copy, gets an error, cancels, and then quickly deletes the original*

Me: “No, no… All right, well, renaming the copy should work now, so go ahead and change the name back.”

Coworker: *goes back into the program again without renaming the file and tries hitting the update, which crashes the program because it can’t find the file*

Me: “No! You need to rename the file, or the program won’t be able to find it.”

Coworker: *starts paging through the program, opening a few menus*

Me: “No. Rename the file, rename the file, rename the file.”

Coworker: “Okay, okay, you don’t need to shout. I can hear you.”

Me: *thinking* “You really don’t do a great job of showing it.”

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Their Blood Glucose Level Must Be A Bit Low…

, , , | Right | January 7, 2020

(I overhear this conversation between a customer and technician at the reception counter.)

Customer: “When do you do your blood glucose tests?”

Tech: “We do those on our ‘Second Saturday Screenings.’”

Customer: “So, when are those?”

Tech: “Our ‘Second Saturday Screenings’?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Tech: “They’re on the second Saturday.”

Customer: “So, they’re every other Saturday?”

Tech: “No, they’re on the second Saturday… of the month.”

Customer: “So, you already had one this month?”

(Today is the 17th.)

Tech: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *walks off*

(A few seconds later, I noticed the tech with her head on the counter… probably silently weeping for humanity.)

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