Unfiltered Story #109367

, , | Unfiltered | April 26, 2018

(I am standing in line for my turn to get my photo taken. The woman’s phone rings and she listens for a second or two.)

“Yes, ma’am, I can help you let me just first shoot this woman.”

Me: “Um. No?”

Replace Chicken Place

, , , | Right | April 24, 2018

(I work at a fried chicken and taco chain. I am working drive-thru on a pretty slow evening. A car comes up to the box.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. This is [My Name]. What can I get for you?”

Woman: “My boyfriend said that he placed an order here, and I want to know if it is ready yet.”

Me: “Sure! Give me one second and I’ll check with my manager.”

(I check with my manager but he has no call-in orders at all.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but it seems that there’s no orders placed for anyone at this time.”

Woman: “Are you sure? I’m sure it was. My boyfriend told me!”

Me: “Are you sure he placed it here?”

Woman: “Yes! This is [Other Fried Chicken Place], right?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is [Store]. [Other Fried Chicken Place] is located right down the road to the left.”

Woman: “Oh, thank you!”

(She drives off, and I explain what happened to my manager. We share a laugh, and a few minutes later I have a customer on the line again. I give my customary spiel.)

Same Woman: “Are you sure you’re not [Other Fried Chicken Place]?”

Me: *holding in laughter* “Yes, ma’am. We’re [Store].”

Woman: “Oh. Okay!”

(She drives off. I burst into laughter and my manager asks me what’s up. I explain that it’s the same woman again.)

Manager: “Don’t we have the name on the side of the building? And a sign?”

50/50 Chance Of Keeping Quiet

, , , , , | Romantic | April 24, 2018

(I am a math teacher, and my husband is a bookkeeper working on an accounting degree, so we both do a lot of math. We attend a conservative church where women are expected to stay quiet. The sermon is about prophecies.)

Preacher: “The prophets weren’t like people today who make guesses about what might happen. For example, a weatherman might say it’s going to rain tomorrow. Well, he has a 50% chance of being right. It’s either going to rain, or it’s not.”

(I bite my tongue. My husband holds my hand.)

Preacher: “…and they might say the rain will start at three. And they’d have a 50% chance of being right, because the rain might start then, or it might not.”

(I hold my husband’s hand tight enough to leave fingernail marks, and start rocking in place. After the sermon, on the way home…)

Husband: “I can’t believe you managed to not say anything. Go ahead. Release the rant.”

Me: “That’s not how math works! Just because there’s two possibilities, it doesn’t make them equally likely!”

(I continued my rant all the way home. Now it’s a joke between us. If one of us asks what the chances are of anything, the other always answers “50%.”)

Pressured To Squeeze Out Any Answer

, , , , , , | Healthy | April 20, 2018

(I’m in anatomy and physiology class, self-grading a test we just did on the cardiovascular system. Since everyone’s grading their tests as a class, the teacher is going over the questions and answers aloud. As is the case on every test, some of the answers are flexible, as long as she can understand what you were trying to refer to.)

Teacher: “Numbers 52 and 53: what instruments are used to measure blood pressure? ‘Stethoscope,’ and I’ll take, ‘blood pressure cuff.’ If you said, ‘sphygmomanometer,’ I’ll take that, too.”

Student #1: “I put, ‘blood pressure band.’”

Teacher: “Yeah, that’s close enough; I’ll take that, too.”

Student #2: *somewhat sheepishly* “I put, ‘squeezy pressure thing’…”

(Everyone bursts out laughing, even [Student #2] and [Teacher].)

Teacher: *between giggles* “‘Squeezy pressure thing’! I’ll take that!”

Unfiltered Story #109169

, | Unfiltered | April 20, 2018

(While I’m working near the front of the store, a customer approaches me and says her car won’t start.)

Me: “We carry jumper cables in the automotive section…”

Customer: “No, no, I can’t afford those. Can you come jump my car?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. I don’t have any cables either, and I can’t go out there during my shift.”

Customer: “Well, my car won’t start.”

Me: “I can call a manager for you, maybe she can help you call a service…”

(I call my manager and she comes over, then she and the customer walk off together. I keep working. A few minutes later, the customer comes back.)

Customer: “So all she said was that she could give me the number for an automotive service. What should I do?”

Me: “…did you want to call them?”

Customer: “No. But my car won’t start. And I’m in a bit of a rush, I need to get to the airport.”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Unless you have someone you can call to jump your car, I’d suggest calling that service.”

(The customer wanders off again, and I don’t think anything more of it. Ten minutes later, my shift is over. I clock out, put on my sweater that’s a different color than my store’s uniform, and shop for a few minutes. The same customer stops me again.)

Customer: “My car still won’t start. Will you give me a jump now?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, but I still don’t have any jumper cables. I don’t think anyone here has any cables. You can still either buy some yourself and ask one of your friends to come to get a jump from their car, or you can call the automotive service my manager gave you the number for.”

Customer: “Oh, so you can’t jump my car?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Can you ask someone else to help me?”

Me: “I already asked my manager, and she gave you what help she could. No one else here will be able to help you more than that.”

(She leaves, and a minute later when I leave, she’s outside asking the cart pusher why he can’t go jump her car.)

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