In the late 1990s to early 2000s, I was a tech at a small computer store. A woman brought in her malfunctioning computer and paid a rush charge to have it looked at right away. While I was checking her machine in, she was going on and on about being an attorney and needing the computer fixed quickly to be able to serve her clients. I handed her our standard disclaimer about data loss, etc., and asked her to sign.

Before I could finish explaining what it was, she grabbed my pen, signed the form without looking at it, and walked off.

I made note of her name in case I ever needed an attorney, so I could remember not to use her.

(This takes place in Spanish class. We are talking about how there are different dialects for different people, and how a lot of families in America speak more than one language because of how diverse we are. There just so happens to be an Asian student in our class. The teacher looks right at the student before saying this.)

Teacher: “[Student], what other languages does your family speak?”

(Everyone in class turns to look at the student awkwardly.)

Student: “Um, English?”

(I don’t know if the teacher realized the awkward tension or that she was being racist, but she quickly moved on with an, “Oh, just asking.” The student was embarrassed for the rest of class and the teacher did everything to avoid being near them.)

(I’m the customer in this situation, and have just pulled up to the order box at an ice cream and burger joint.)

Employee: “Hi! Thank you for choosing [Store]. What can I get started for you today?”

Me: “Hi! May I please have a grande M&M [Shake] with extra M&Ms?”

Employee: “I’m terribly sorry; what size did you say?”

Me: “A grande! And may I please have it in a venti cup so I don’t spill ice cream over the side?”

Employee: “I can put a medium [Shake] into a large cup for you, if that’s okay?”

Me: *light clicks on upstairs* “I just ordered in [Coffee Shop] lingo, didn’t I?”

Employee: *laughing* “Yes, ma’am, you did!”

Me: *at the window* “May I share with you why I ordered incorrectly?”

(The order-taker nods, and I hold up my work hat and apron, both in [Coffee Shop]’s signature color and emblazoned with our logo.)

Me: “I just got off work. I’ve been repeating back orders as grande and venti all day!”

Employee: *laughing, to her coworker* “Hey, go ahead and throw an extra-extra scoop of M&Ms in that [Shake]; she’s been slingin’ coffee all day!”

(Thank you, kind person, for being patient with me, and for giving me more chocolate. One can never have enough chocolate.)

My parents were visiting from out of state, so we were picking up some snacks and supplies for their hotel room. My dad uses a CPAP that requires purified water, and we didn’t realize until we were waiting in line that we’d forgotten it. It was just before the holidays, and the store was packed, so I jogged back and grabbed a bottle while my parents were waiting to be rung up.

When I returned, another couple had pushed their heavily-loaded cart up and were starting to unload, and my parents’ order was almost done. As it would take a little finagling to get past the other couple and their cart, and as I’m a six-foot-tall woman, I just leaned over their order on the belt and placed the bottle of water at the end of my parents’ items, saying cheerfully, “‘Scuze me! Yoink!”

I then carefully moved around their cart and rejoined my parents, and only then realize the couple was staring at me, agog. I started wondering what was going on when the man looked from my mother to me and said, “Oh! You’re with them!“

I blinked and then started laughing. “Oh, my God, yes. I was grabbing something for them… I’m sorry, did you think I just tried to cut in line by saying, ‘Yoink’? Holy cow, that would make me the biggest jerk ever. I’m so sorry!”

He started laughing, as well. “I was actually kind of impressed that a lady apparently had brass balls bigger than mine!” The cashier looked infinitely relieved that an incident was avoided, and the gentleman and I laughed about my “epic rudeness” for the rest of the sale.

(I work at an Asian fast food restaurant. We offer three basic meals where you can put whatever food items you wish in the meal. The most popular of these comes with one side and two entrees. We also issue a coupon that says you can get an additional entree for free with the purchase of this meal.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to try any samples today?”

Customer: “No. I have this coupon, and I wanted to ask you what it is for.”

Me: “Sure! This coupon allows you to get an entree box with anything you’d like in it for free, as long as you also purchase one of our meals with two entrees and a side.”

Customer: “Okay. What counts as an entree?”

Me: “Any of our meats count as an entree, or you could use that coupon for an egg roll or an order of spring rolls.”

(I gesture to the table of food in front of me.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I try a sample of [food item]?”

Me: “Sure!” *gets her a sample of several entrees*

Customer: “I’ll take some spring rolls.”

Me: “Okay. What else can I get for you today?”

(I take her order. We get to the register, and I ask for the coupon. She can see on the screen on the other side of the register the amount that was taken off of the total.)

Customer: “Why did it only take [amount] off?”

Me: “Well, that was the price of the spring rolls and that is the extra entree that you asked for to use the coupon on. You didn’t get anything else I could apply the coupon to, and it would still be the same dollar amount taken off, anyway.”

Customer: “I thought I got a free entree?”

Me: “You did. I rang the spring rolls up for [price], and then I discounted your check for [same price].”

Customer: “No, I mean, I thought I got an entree for free.”

Me: *not really knowing what else to say at this point, I simply say* “You did.”

Customer: *rolling her eyes in a way that seems to say, “This guy is cheating me, but I don’t have the energy to deal with it.”* “Okay.”

(The transaction continues and she goes to her table after paying. I bring the food over when ready.)

Me: “Here is that food you were waiting on. Also, something just occurred to me. I think we may have just been having a miscommunication back at the register. You see, the spring rolls that I gave you are normally [higher price] when not being purchased with a meal. I think that might have been the reason we were having trouble understanding each other. I actually just rang them up as an extra entree on your meal so they were cheaper. That way, I can use the coupon that allows me to discount [same price] and the spring rolls are free.”

Customer: “No, that wasn’t what I was confused about. I just thought the coupon was for an entree.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is. That’s what you got.”

Customer: “No. All I got were these spring rolls.”