(I’m small and only 16, so I am required to go to the children’s hospital. My parents leave me alone overnight. I’ve been admitted for a possible reemergence of a serious issue, so I’m obviously not allowed to run down to the corner store or anything like that.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you have pads?”

Female Nurse: *freezes*

Me: “You know, for… monthly things?”

Female Nurse: “I… I’m sorry, sweetie, what?”

Me: “I’m bleeding, so I need pads.”

Female Nurse: “I’ll check.”

(She practically runs out of the room. I watch her talk to three others, all with mortified expressions on their faces. Finally, she comes back.)

Female Nurse: “Here you go, sweetie. But this is a children’s hospital, so you need to tell your mother that we don’t have those kinds of things here, okay? Have her bring you some in the morning.”

Me: “But I’ve had this since I was ten…”

Female Nurse: *sputters* “Well, ten isn’t really a child, now is it?” *runs off*

(I work at a pizza place that does orders over the phone. It’s a Saturday night and about ten minutes from our closing time — 11 pm — when we get a phone call and my coworker answers. She then comes up to me, clearly distressed, to tell me what happened.)

Coworker: “So, you know that phone call we just got?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Coworker: “Well, this lady called, but she wasn’t calling in an order. She wanted to dine in and got upset when I told her that we wouldn’t stay open just so she could come in from half an hour away and eat here.”

Me: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard. You have no reason to feel bad.”

Coworker: *still a little upset because she doesn’t like people being mad at her* “Yeah, but she got so angry at me when I told her we wouldn’t stay open just for her.”

Me: “I would’ve been way more upset at you if you had told her we would.”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 32
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 31
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30

(There is a young male customer who thinks he is being clever. He takes two more expensive items from a shelf and puts them on a different shelf with similar but cheaper items. We saw him carrying the items around earlier. This is when he comes to grab me for “assistance.”)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

(The customer leads me over to the shelf and does a motion with both arms to the whole thing, trying to draw attention away from items he misplaced.)

Customer: “Everything here… is all the same price… right?”

(I take one glance and see the items out of place and reach for them.)

Me: “Everything but these two items, sir.”

(I remove them and hold the items in my hand; he looks dejected and cornered.)

Customer: “O-oh… but… you still have to honor that price, right?”

(At this point, I realize he put them there on purpose, and his whole point in bringing me over was to get an employee to admit that those items were cheaper so he could try and get the price that way from a manager. I turn and look him square in the face.)

Me: “No, sir. Not during the holidays. Customers tend to get things misplaced in this hectic time and the price is…”

(I scan the items and give him the real price of the items.)

Customer: “Oh… yeah, I was wondering, ‘cause… Yeah.”

Me: *still looking into his face* “Mhm. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

Customer: “No… no, I’m good.”

(I then nodded politely and left him be, letting our asset protection team know to keep an eye on him.)

(My family of five is eating dinner at my mother’s favorite Mexican restaurant, which has a very limited menu. The standard dinner is served family-style, so while it technically comes with two enchiladas, two small tacos, and so on, they actually just give each person an empty plate and bring out the right number of items on large serving plates. The fajitas are not served family-style.)

Mom: “I usually get the standard dinner, but I think I want to get the fajitas this time. But they’re so big! Does anyone want to split that with me?”

Brother: “Yeah, sure, I’ll do that, but that’s a little small… I’ll take half the fajitas but also order two extra tacos.”

Mom: “Oh, that’s a good idea; I love the tacos here! I’ll do that, too.”

(Everyone else is getting the standard dinner. When the server arrives to take our orders, though, and Mom tries to explain what she wants…)

Mom: “I’m splitting the beef fajitas with him, but we want two tacos, too, so that’s–” *looks around the table* “–ten tacos!”

Server: *confused* “Sorry, you want to split the fajita plate and… what?”

Mom: “We need ten tacos so there’s two for everyone, but the regular dinner comes with two already so we don’t want to add anything to that. We just need two more for two people–”

Brother: “Mom. MOM!”

(She finally stops talking, and my brother gives the server a steady look.)

Brother: “We’re splitting a fajita plate. And we want four extra tacos on the side.”

Server: “Ohh! Okay, no problem.” *leaves*

(Mom scowls at my brother.)

Mom: “I was explaining it!”

(My brother hates bugs. He can’t stand them. I catch a June bug and my brother runs away to his room. As he opens the door, he sees a small, green bug on the opposite wall. He doesn’t like it.)

Brother: “Another bug! What is that?!”

Me: “Oh! I don’t remember actually. I think they jump at you, though.”

(He jumps back.)

Brother: “I thought they flew!”

Me: “Kind of. They jump far distances. They look like they glide.”

(I pause.)

Me: “Think Batman!”

(I turn away and start to go outside to put the June bug down when I hear the girliest scream I have ever heard from a male.)

Brother: “It Batmanned at me!”

(I tried not to laugh. I failed.)