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Modern Parks Just Aren’t Cutting It

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2010

(An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)

Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that, sir. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”

Me: *assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park* “Where did you mean, sir?”

(The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”

Customer: “Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Don’t Pin Your Hopes On This One

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2010

(I am scanning a customer’s items and the screen prompts me to ask for her phone number.)

Me: “Can I get your phone number please?”

Customer: “1-2-3-4.”

Me: *confused*

Customer: “Oh, I thought you asked for my pin number.”


This story is part of the Ignorant About Money roundup!

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Clearly Not The Better (Or Smarter) Half

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to rent Mr. Hoople Oople.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not familiar with that one. Is it a comedy or drama? Our movies are alphabetical, so I’m sure I can help you locate it.”

Customer: “It’s a music video.”

(I take him over to the music and concert section. Nothing of that sort is found.)

Me: “Hmm, is that the name of the band or the venue?”

Customer: “No, it’s a movie. Mr. Hoople Ooople.”

Me: “No, I’m not showing anything by that name. We have a book over here that we can look up movies by actor or actress.”

Customer: “Richard Dreyfuss was in it.”

(I find nothing.)

Me: “Sir, maybe we don’t carry this film.”

Customer: “You do, my wife called and you said you had it!”

(I check with the other counter clerks. One of them looks confused but a light goes off in his head, and he goes and grabs a box off of the shelf.)

Customer: “See? I told you! Mr. Hoople Ooople!”

(The customer holds up a box which says “Mr. Holland’s Opus.” He checks out.)

Coworker: “I’d have had no idea what he was talking about either, but his wife called an hour ago and asked about it… with the right name, of course.”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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Redial By Fire

, , , | Right | February 22, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week, and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Not five seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “This isn’t [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a women’s clothing store.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Five seconds later.)

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve called [Store] again.

Caller: “D*** it! I’m calling the right number. Why do you keep answering?”

Me: “Sir, the office number is very close to ours, so maybe when you’re dialing the numbers, you’ve been accidentally hitting a wrong key?”

Caller: “What numbers? I’ve been hitting redial!”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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It’s Difficult To Make It Any Simpler

, , , , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I just bought a Xbox 360 and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Could you describe the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “It won’t turn on. I took it out of the box and it won’t turn on.”

Me: “Are all the cables plugged into the system TV and wall outlet?”

Caller: “I have to plug it in?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It will not work unless it is plugged in.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

(I go through the steps of connecting the AV cables and the power plug.)

Caller:  “It still won’t turn on.”

Me: “Did you push the power button?”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “The big round button on the front of the console.”

Caller: “I don’t know why you make these machines so difficult to use!” *hangs up*