Redial By Fire

, , , | Right | February 22, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week, and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Not five seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “This isn’t [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a women’s clothing store.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Five seconds later.)

Caller: “I saw [Doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve called [Store] again.

Caller: “D*** it! I’m calling the right number. Why do you keep answering?”

Me: “Sir, the office number is very close to ours, so maybe when you’re dialing the numbers, you’ve been accidentally hitting a wrong key?”

Caller: “What numbers? I’ve been hitting redial!”


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Clearly Not The Better (Or Smarter) Half

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to rent Mr. Hoople Oople.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not familiar with that one. Is it a comedy or drama? Our movies are alphabetical, so I’m sure I can help you locate it.”

Customer: “It’s a music video.”

(I take him over to the music and concert section. Nothing of that sort is found.)

Me: “Hmm, is that the name of the band or the venue?”

Customer: “No, it’s a movie. Mr. Hoople Ooople.”

Me: “No, I’m not showing anything by that name. We have a book over here that we can look up movies by actor or actress.”

Customer: “Richard Dreyfuss was in it.”

(I find nothing.)

Me: “Sir, maybe we don’t carry this film.”

Customer: “You do, my wife called and you said you had it!”

(I check with the other counter clerks. One of them looks confused but a light goes off in his head, and he goes and grabs a box off of the shelf.)

Customer: “See? I told you! Mr. Hoople Ooople!”

(The customer holds up a box which says “Mr. Holland’s Opus.” He checks out.)

Coworker: “I’d have had no idea what he was talking about either, but his wife called an hour ago and asked about it… with the right name, of course.”


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It’s Difficult To Make It Any Simpler

, , , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I just bought a Xbox 360 and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “Could you describe the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “It won’t turn on. I took it out of the box and it won’t turn on.”

Me: “Are all the cables plugged into the system TV and wall outlet?”

Caller: “I have to plug it in?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It will not work unless it is plugged in.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

(I go through the steps of connecting the AV cables and the power plug.)

Caller:  “It still won’t turn on.”

Me: “Did you push the power button?”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “The big round button on the front of the console.”

Caller: “I don’t know why you make these machines so difficult to use!” *hangs up*

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Creative Creature Literature 101

, , , | Right | January 27, 2010

Customer: “Do you have How to Catch a Mole?”

Me: “I don’t know of that book; let me check.”

Customer: “I have to read it for school.”

Me: “No, we don’t have that.”

Customer: “It’s really famous. I think Dante wrote it.”

Me: “Dante? ”

Customer: “Or someone like that.”

Me: “What class is this for?”

Customer: “English Literature.”

Me: *inspiration strikes* “You mean Taming of the Shrew!”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”


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