Unfiltered Story #136348

, , | Unfiltered | January 11, 2019

I work as a telemarketer in MO, USA. I got an inbound call one day with no information.
Me: Thank you for calling-
Man: 421 Beaker Street!!
Me: I’m sorry?
Man: *hysteric* Come quick! I think she’s hurt real bad. There’s blood everywhere!!
Me: Sir-
Man: Send an ambulance! SHE’S DYING!!
By this time I’m freaking out. Obviously, this dude needed help. I didn’t want to just hang up, so I hit the alarm on my dialer, alerting my supervisor.
Man: Is the ambulance on their way?
Me: Sir, I’m not 911. If this is an emergency, you should hang up and dial 9-1-1!
Man: So where is this?
Me: This is [Company]. We’re an education refferal service. Sir, isn’t someone hurt?
Man: It’s just a video game. No use cryin’ about it. I don’t need no college. *click*
My supervisory came up and asked me what happened. Apparently, the same dude had been calling in all morning, yelling about people dying on Skyrim.

The Only Answer I Have For You Is Nope

, , | Working | November 13, 2018

(We are a single location in a group of restaurants around the valley that are still family-owned with a headquarters. Our owner is only active in visiting the restaurants and guests every week. His children have taken over everything else. We get solicitor callers every now and again, and they always ask for the owner.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Solicitor: “Hello, my name is [Solicitor] from [Random Business]. Is [Owner] available?”

Me: “He is not available, and we are not interested today, thank you.”

Solicitor: “Oh, okay. So, do you know if he’ll be available tomorrow, since you apparently have all the answers?!”

Me: “Nope, not interested. Have a good day.”

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Whistle While They Telework

, , , , | Related | October 24, 2018

(I am visiting my grandparents when they get a call from a random number.)

Grandpa: “Hey, [Grandma], it’s a telemarketer! Watch this, Squirt.”

Grandma: “Hello?” *pause* “No, thank you. I’m not interested. Could you please take me off your calling list?” *pause* “I said I’m not interested. Don’t make me repeat myself again. Take me off your list.”

(The person on the other side of the phone says something else. My grandmother calmly pulls a whistle out of her purse, puts it to her lips, and blows it as hard and loud as she can into the phone. She’s across the room from me and I have to cover my ears. She holds it for a solid fifteen seconds before she runs out of breath. I can hear the person on the other end start to yell something, but before they can form a sentence she gets her breath back and goes in for a second round. This time the caller hangs up within a few seconds and my grandmother gives a satisfied nod.)

Me: “I can’t believe you just did that! Your daughter used to be a telemarketer. Wouldn’t you feel awful if someone did that to her?”

Grandmother: “Where do you think we got the idea from? She said someone did that to her once and she had them marked down as ‘do not call’ right away so she would never have to call them again!”

(I don’t know whether their method works or not, but it’s become one of their favorite pastimes.)

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Mom, You Have The Floor

, , | Working | July 31, 2018

(My family and I are enjoying dinner at home when a telemarketer calls. My mom answers.)

Telemarketer: “Good evening, this is [Telemarketer] from [Cleaning Company]. Are you interested in having your carpets cleaned?”

Mom: “I’m sorry; we don’t have any carpets.”

Telemarketer: “No problem. We also do hardwood floors. Would you be interested in having your hardwood floors cleaned?”

Mom: “We don’t have any floors!” *hangs up*

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Burping Gets You Some Hangups

, , , , , , | Romantic | July 17, 2018

(Due to being a small business owner, I get all types of spam calls, but due to the clientele and our cloud-based services, I can’t afford to not answer the phone, as it may be a client’s phone number I’m just not familiar with. A particularly dense and determined telemarketer calls me repeatedly from one of those “unknown ID” lines that are impossible to trace. I am getting fed up with them, and so is my girlfriend. She decides to answer the call since my attempts thus far to get them to stop have been unsuccessful:)

Girlfriend: *sultry voice* “Are you ready for something hot and satisfying?”

Telemarketer: “…huh?”

(My girlfriend lets out a low and guttural belch into the phone and hangs up.)

Me: “You are disgusting.”

Girlfriend: “But effective!”

(She was right; they didn’t call back!)

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