Ben There, Done That

| Norman, OK, USA | Right | April 19, 2011

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, ma’am. My name is Ben. I’m calling to tell you about our special offer that–”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “Ben, ma’am.”

Customer: “Ben? Hey, everyone, Ben is on the phone. Ben, are you still having dinner with us tonight?”

Me: “I think you mean a different Ben, ma’am. I’m a telemarketer.”

Customer: “So you’re not in California?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m in Oklahoma.”

Customer: “Well, okay. I’ve got to keep the line clear for the right Ben.”

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You Couldn’t Make It Up

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | January 17, 2011

(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)

Little Girl: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”

Little Girl: “That’s me.”

Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”

Little Girl: “I have two dads.”

Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”

Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”

Me: “I’m selling make-up.”

Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”

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Customer Of The Week: Electric Lime

, | | Right | September 10, 2008

Customer Of The Week: Electric Lime
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story:
One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

Send In The Clowns, Part 2

| | Right | June 1, 2008

Me: “Hi! I’m calling today looking for sponsorships for less fortunate children to attend the annual circus.”

Her: “Oh, that sounds wonderful.”

Me: “Would you like to sponsor a child this year?”

Her: “Will there be clowns?”

Me: “Yes, I believe there will be a few clowns.”

Her: “What kind?”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Her: “Are they the good ones?”

Me: “They are professionals, so I believe they will be quite good.”

Her: “Do children like them?”

Me: “Yes…”

Her: *in a hushed voice* “I carry a picture of that scary clown in my pocket. I don’t like scary clowns.”

Me: “Scary clown?”

Her: “… from the movie. I bought it so I could have a picture of the scary clown. I have nightmares about it.”

Me: “Ummm… that’s horrible. I’m sorry for bringing up such an awful memory. I will just let you go then.”

Her: “No, I want to help. Kids like that kind of thing. What do I have to do?”

Me: “Well, we will send you a sponsorship packet in the mail. It will have an invoice. You just have to send in payment.”

Her: “Will there be clowns?”

Me: “At the circus?”

Her: “No, I mean will you make sure that they don’t send any clowns in that paper?”

Me: “Yes, I will make sure that you do not get sent any clowns…”

(Ironically, I found out after hanging up that the sponsorship packet has a large picture of a clown on the envelope.)

 

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One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

, , , | | Right | November 3, 2007

Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “That’s a color, miss. What size did you want the harness in?”

Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size’?”

Me: “How many inches is it?”

Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”

*grimace*

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