Day-Scare Center

, | Lewiston, ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in a call center selling credit cards over the phone. I get a call one day from a woman who sounds like she is surrounded by children.)

Me: “…and what is—”

Caller: *to kids in the background* “Hey! Quiet down back there! Don’t make me get the rolling pin!”

(I think to myself: Oh, my! Well, they are her children, not mine, so I’ll ignore it.)

Caller: “You were saying?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, what is your occupation?”

Caller: “Oh! I work for a daycare center.”

How To Get Non-Existent Panties In A Twist

, | FL, USA | Rude & Risque

(I’m a FTM transgender, but have not begun transition, so although I’m frequently called “sir” in person based on my looks, my voice is a dead giveaway – especially at a call center job.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of [Company] regarding the power bill. May I speak with [Name]?”

Man: “Are you wearing any paaaaantieees?”

Me: “…Excuse me, sir?”

Man: “I like women who don’t wear paaaaaantieeees!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a man, and I’m calling to save you money on your power bill.”

Man: “No, you’re not! You’re a WOMAN and I like women who don’t wear PAAAAANTIEEEEES!”

Me: “So you’ve said, sir, but I’m a transgender man. Would you like to save money on your power bill or not?”

(At this apparently horrific revelation, the customer hangs up on ME, and I pause the dialer to do a victory dance at my desk.)

Weird And Cheered

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Family & Kids

(I work for my university calling alum and asking for donations to the school. A child who sounds about five or six picks up.)

Kid: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi, may I please speak to [Alum]?”

Kid: *to mom* “Mom, there’s some weird lady on the phone for you.”

Alum: “Oh, my god, I am so sorry!”

Me: *laughing hysterically* “That brightened my entire day.”

Alum: “I’ll give him a talking-to later.”

Me: “No, no, I promise. It was adorable.”

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