Teenagers Everywhere Fear The Look!

, , , , | Related | October 16, 2020

My husband, two sons aged thirteen and sixteen, and I are at a convenience store for treats and drinks. We’ve opened the single door and are all entering — me first, as the lady in the group — when a teenage male attempts to push his way out.

I stop and look at him, and he freezes and steps back to let us enter. I notice my sixteen-year-old slowly shaking his head side to side.

Me: *To my son* “What?”

Son: “That look — it even works on strangers!”

I guess you could say I’ve perfected the “Mom Look”!

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She Wants The Condom-Minimum

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2020

I get the strangest phone calls during the third shift at the gas station.

Teen Girl: “Hi. Do you guys deliver condoms?”

Me: “Uh… no. We sell them, but we don’t deliver.”

Teen Girl: “How much are they?”

Me: “We have a three-pack for $4.26.”

Teen Girl: “Um… that’s a bit high. Can’t you knock it down a notch for me?”

Me: “No, not really. All we have is the three-pack.”

Teen Girl: “I only need one, though. Do you have any personal condoms I can have?”

Me: “Uh… no. Sorry.”

Teen Girl: “Well, I don’t use condoms. Bye.” *Click*

Related:
Children Should Know The Condom-Minimum
Keep The Cleaning To A Condom-Minimum
Everyone Should Know The Condom-minimum

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Rated R You Serious?, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | October 2, 2020

I’m selling tickets on a fairly busy Saturday night. A group of five teens comes up to me and all purchase their tickets separately for an R-rated movie. I am one of the sticklers for checking ID, unlike some of the other employees and managers. I get to the third boy in line.

Me: “And if I can just see your ID, please.”

Teen: “Why do you need my ID?”

Me: “Because the movie is rated R. It’s federal law that I check it or you be accompanied by an adult over twenty-one.”

Teen: “Well, I don’t have it.”

Me: “Well, I’m terribly sorry, but we have a strict ‘No ID, no sale’ policy here.”

By now, the boys around him are groaning and looking irritated, oddly enough, at him. The boy looks away, huffs, and then grins like he has a million-dollar idea.

Teen: *Badly flirting* “Come on, you won’t lose your job. Do it, just for me? Come on!”

Me: “As I said before, no ID, no sale. Come back with a valid state-issued driver’s license and I’ll sell you the ticket.”

Teen: “Seriously?!”

The group wanders off for about ten minutes while I furiously deal with the line they caused. The boys then come back, and the obviously underage one shoves a plain card in my face; in the second he has it there, I read, “fishing license,” and note that it has no picture.

Teen: “There! That has my birthday on it! Now sell me the ticket.”

Me: “Sorry. I still can’t. I don’t know if that actually belongs to you because it has no picture and I said driver’s license. That could be someone else’s, for all I know.”

Teen: “JUST SELL ME THE TICKET!”

I’m stressed and agitated, and I do something I have never done in the six years I’ve been in retail: snap back.

Me: *Leaning over the computer* “Look! No amount of yelling is going to get me to sell you the ticket, okay?! Bring. Back. Your. License. And I will sell you the ticket. It’s rated R for a reason.”

Teen: “WHATEVER! Have an awful day! Just whatever.”

Related:
Rated R You Serious?, Part 2
Rated R You Serious?

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You Got Beat, Period

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2020

I am waiting in line in a supermarket. Ahead of me is a guy currently paying for his groceries, and a group of three teenage boys who are of that age where they’re trying to be cool and tough in front of each other.

Teenager #1: “Eww, bruv, this [gay slur] is buying some tampons!”

Teenager #2: “Eww, sick man!”

Teenager #1: *To the customer* “Bruv, your woman got you buying her s***, yeah? She the man, yeah?”

I am about to speak up when the customer turns to face all three boys and says:

Customer: “I understand why it’s gross for you to think about periods. I’m sure all your mothers prayed for their periods, and they got you instead.”

The boys were silent a moment, and then threw in some weak comebacks that didn’t go very far. They left their items behind and stormed out. At least they had enough intelligence to know they were beat.

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You’ll Have To Wait For Old Age To Be Cute Again

, , , , , | Related | September 18, 2020

My dad, sisters, and I are talking about kids. Two of my sisters and I are teenagers while the youngest one is seven.

Dad: “Let me put it this way: your kids are cute and then they become teenagers.”

Youngest Sister: “Daddy, am I cute?”

Dad: “Yes, [Youngest Sister], you’re cute.”

Me: “Daddy, am I cute?”

Dad: “You’re a teenager.”

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