(I’m waiting in the movie ticket line and overhear three teenage girls having a conversation.)
Girl #1: “What is the mat-in-ee?”
Girl #2: “That’s like, a sea creature, right?”
Girl #3: “OMG, you are so stupid! It’s like when you get a discount because your dad is, like, in the military or something.”
Girl #1: “OMG, I’m so stupid!”
Girl #3: “Yeah, you should pay more attention to your surroundings!”
Customer: “I’m lost. Can I use your phone?”
Me: “I’m sorry, our phones don’t call outside the park.”
Customer: “Can’t you call somebody to help me? I’m lost and I can’t find my daddy.”
Me: “Sure. How old are you?”
Customer: “19.”
Me: “…I’m afraid our security only helps lost children.”
Customer: “But I AM lost.”
Me: “Well, do you know his cell number?”
Customer: “Yeah.” *pulls out cellphone*
This story is part of the Even-More-Customers-Caught-Lying-themed roundup!
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(I overheard this in a comic book store in a trendy area of town.)
Teenager #1: *points to a t-shirt of Che Guevara* “Hey, look, it’s the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine!”
Teenager #2: “I am totally buying one!”
This story is part of the Overheard roundup!
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(I’m recording a group of 15 year-old rappers.)
Me: “Do you like the way that sounds?”
Rapper: “Yo, can you make me sound like, um… like a maaaaan?”
Me: “Um… I’m not really sure I know what you mean.”
Rapper: “Like, I wanna sound like a big man, ya know?”
Me: “Hrm. Okay, let’s try this…” *I lower the pitch of his vocals a bit* …”like that?”
Rapper: “Yeah! Perfect! Now I sound all strong!”
(A teen girl walks through security and collects her belongings.)
Teen: “Excuse me, sir, what did you do with my purse?”
Worker: “I’m sure it came through, ma’am, just look around for it.”
Teen: *in a condescending tone* “Sir, I would appreciate it if you would find my purse that went through YOUR machine that YOU lost. That’s your job you know, now reach up in the machine and feel around for it.”
Worker #2: “Umm, your purse is on your arm.”
Teen: “Oh…” *walks away*
This story is part of the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!
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